I went through it and I’m sure most of you have been through it too. When you’re down and out, your children taken by social service workers, depressed, frightened, traumatized, lonely, and in need of support – do your friends and family turn on you, saying hurtful and accusing things to make you feel ten times worse?
That’s apparently what happened in Bremerton, Washington a few days ago. A traumatized father looking for much-needed support from a friend admitted his children were taken by CPS social workers. His friend responded by saying the line Americans have been brainwashed to believe: “Most people deserve to have their children taken away.”
Most people don’t want to admit to themselves that a government agency, CPS, could be wrong. They still have blinders on, believing (as brainwashed in government schools by forced daily reciting of the Pledge) that America provides “liberty and justice for all” and that government agents can do no wrong.
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Source: “Friends Get in Fight Over Child Protective Services” by Kitsap Sun staff, published August 30, 2007.
[sorry, that article has been deleted]
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Has this happened to you? Did you get support and understanding from family members and friends, or were you given the cold shoulder like I was? Did your closest family members refuse to listen to your side of they story? Did they say, “CPS doesn’t make mistakes?” If so – what did you do about it?
I’d like to share a poem with you that I wrote:
OFFENCES MUST COME
The deeper you dig a pit for me,
The taller will grow my mountain of victory.
You may put my flesh in a grave,
But it is Eternity that I crave.
So, threaten to take all.
Everything you see is temporal.
Only that which you cannot see
Continues forever to be.
Offences we all must face,
For these God gives grace.
Those who purposely offend
Shall come to no good end.
Those who harm God’s precious sheep
Will gnash teeth, and wail, and weep.
My MIL said to me “I wish you would have said you could have done better for your kids”. Ya, I received no support from her and my husband’s side of the family. My family thankfully were very helpful and knew we were good parents and also helped pay for a lawyer. This wasn’t the first time my MIL was unsupportive when we needed her. Every single time we need her support she acts like this and it makes things a million times worse.
Some people don’t know how to be supportive and helpful to family members in trouble. Our society is full of people who had emotionally deprived childhoods … and there are many reasons for that.
2007/my 2 youngest children was taken by CP’s places in foster care then after 3 years of fighting with cps my rights was taken and my children was put up for legal adoption. Mind you I say my 2 youngest I have 4 boys my two oldest was never there concern. I was a single mom working 2-3 jobs with a husband who was estranged and a drug addict at the time. I was told my husband could have no contact with my children because of his addiction they immediately terminated his rights first. They were slick. They alwaysade sure they told me what I wanted to hear so they could take my words and twist them and make me look bad in front of the judge. That’s there prerogative to be supportive and nice so they can get in the door to learn what ever possible to use against you later. I never did drugs or drink I always worked never was on the system. My children were always well taken care of fed well had everything they could ever want . because o worked a night job and slept 3-4 hrs a day till my second shift job raising 4 kids alone its kind of hard to be a neat freak. People in.my husbands family continued to call and cause problems because there son or grandson couldn’t see his children because of his drug addiction so I guess they decided to make that for me too except I never did anything to have my children taken. I was dumb and young and believed every word they told me at cps worked 2 jobs went through countless hours of meetings on there terms visitation on there terms every possible thing they told me to do I did. 3 long years believing my children would be returned home never happened. They did whatever they could to convince a judge I was a unfit mother. Funny how they only wanted my 3 year old and seven year old at the time but my 10 yr old and 12 year old they never bothered with. Finally after a exhausted 3 years of fighting and no moral support from family or friends I was so depressed and tired and confused I finally gave them what they wanted. In the state of VA its considered close adoption so the last time I seen my 2 youngest boys was 2009 this all started the beginning of 2006. Every day is a struggle I feel like my children was kidnapped striped from me. I had to go on still had 2 other boys who needed there mother. I went into a serious depression lost my world its been a challenge till this day to wake up. Am on 6 different medications my heart still hurts everyday. My ten yr old at the time just turned 18 and my 12 year he is now 20. There life was traumatized to lose there siblings till this day they both still struggle. Cps did nothing bit rip my family to pieces for really no reason at all. Just because some jeoulous family members couldn’t leave me alone. I pray for the day my boys to turn 18 hoping they will find there way home to me. I have 4/years left for one and 2/ yra for the other I feel like I have been in prison since 2007 and waiting to get out.
I know exactly how u feel I have a little over three years to wait till she’s 18 and hoping w all my heart and soul that she will come back to us, and tht she hasn’t been totally brain washed against us and or told that we didn’t want her or love her . I know she had to have felt tht we didn’t love her anymore. How does a person deal w this heartache???
My children were taken away for reasons still unknown April 29,2015 with a promise from the CPS worker that they would be returned in two days, once we went before the judge. well, it didn’t happen and that worker has not been seen since. The caseworker could never provide an explanation either, only a false promise to help Us get them back.
Before our adjudication, we had completed the family service plan. Our 17yr old daughter called our caseworker to ask what we had left to do, 3 weeks prior to our adjudication, and our caseworker told her that it would be a long time before they could come home. (when stolen “they” were my 17yr old daughter, 7yr old son, 5yr Son, 4yr old son, 16mo. son, and 7 days son).
The case worker decided to interpret my drug test results that had my levels of Adderall (prescribed) without any professional help, so she told my daughter (I have a recording of her admitting this) that I had been abusing my medication and would not admit to it.
Naturally my daughter was devastated by this and she began to make false accusations against myself and my husband. The caseworker, in her attempts to keep anyone else from discovering her mistake, lied to the judge about messages I had sent my daughter, so the judge ordered I have no contact with her.
This happened in August, when they should have been returned to us, according to CPS’s rules. She also told the judge that we had only completed 3 of the things on the service plan, and those we had just completed the previous day.
My daughter turned 18 a few days ago, but is still in foster care. That is another thing my caseworker is not able to discuss with us. Because of her ignorance and defiance of policies, all of my children are without their parents. My two youngest do not know who we are, and I believe my daughter is afraid of what I might do to her for lying and causing SO much pain and grief for her brothers.
I do not blame her, only my Caseworker and the Judge for hurting her so badly. They stole from her, the one real gift I had to give her, myself and the security and self-worth that came with being loved and cared for that much. I only want to tell her and be allowed to start over proving to my children that I will never put anything before them.
Lillian, how can you not know why your children were taken? Didn’t you go to court and get a social worker’s report with allegations in it? I realize a lot of the accusations are false, but they are the reason the children were taken. Or – are you saying you don’t know who reported you or why?
I’m so sorry your 18-year-old daughter is implicated in this and hope she will discover that you still love her and want her to be part of your life. I will pray for this to happen.
It is common for families to be separated because of accusations of an older child, and many teenagers have been coerced or even brainwashed into saying things about their parents that are untrue. I am reminded of the Bakersfield, CA false accusations of the 1980’s back when child abuse hysteria was getting started here in the USA – some of those parents went to prison for twenty years in addition to losing their children.
Even to this day I hear of cases like yours, and cringe to hear that little ones like yours are involved in losing their parents. So very sorry this has happened to your family. Remember, where man fails, God prevails, and he can mend broken hearts, and put together the pieces that have been broken.
I am currently dealing with CPS, I was down with Walking Pneomonia, for over three weeks, I have four children 9yrs to age 2. I am married however my husband works graveyard so basically I end up being more of a single parent. I let the house go due to being sick however I was still making dinner, doing light chores, my house was messy but not clean due to laundry I was doing it just having a hard time putting it away. Any way, when CPS showed up, She made threats of taking my children away, in front of my children. I was cleaning when they showed up this happened being of christmas break. January 7 i receive another visit due to my son had walked out in his favorite shirt which I did not notice had a hole in it. Regardless, I have sense then been on top of making sure that my children do not go to school in clothes that have holes, and the other complaint is that my children have a smell. My daughter hit puberity with out me taking notice, when it was brought to my attention, I make sure she wear deorderant, I just did not expect to have that talk with her at 9 years old.
After that last visit, on January 7 I have not seen or heard from the CPS worker, however March 20 three months to the day, I got a call from the worker asking if she could do one last check before she takes it to committee. This is where there is a panel that decides whether the children should remain in the home. I know that my children are fed, and taken care of, but they are using every CPS report against me, whether it is good or bad. Whether it is valid or not. Which i believe is BS. I think that they should see that I am doing better now then I have last week, last month. or even six months ago. I think when it comes to my children and the situation, I think there are other people in worse situations that could use the help.Other kids that need saved. My daughter Serenity scared that they will come and take her siblings and her, to the point she wants to be close to her brothers (7,4, and 2)It makes me sad that she does not want to be with others due to this, she would rather stay at home and play with her brothers than go to a friends.
I have to agree with most comments, I am not poor nor am I rich, I am middle class we struggle to make bills. I have done something that most people would not think of. I hung a sign that says ” SMile you are being recorded. I have webcams in my home, I have a tablet, and record every time CPS steps in my home. All workers know that when they deal with me, they better acknowledge they are being recorded, or they are not allowed to enter my home.
yes, I was given the cold shoulder by some. Others didn’t get the gravity of the situation. They, like I, had thought of CPS as a benevolent institution, to investigate in a fair and thorough (and respectful) manner neglect and abuse of children, and to offer helpful services and resources to poor families who were struggling to keep a home (food, utilities, etc.). We are all middle class, regular people, no drugs, I mean we are just regular people who don’t get in trouble with the law, and MAN, WERE WE IGNORANT. My friends are still ignorant. They have no idea the trauma we have gone through. They probably think I’ve “moved on” from it, but I’m really scarred. I know nobody who has gone through this, that I can talk to. Nobody understands. Even therapists do not understand, if they themselves have not been through it!
My home was never ‘broken” before CPS came and broke it for me.
Thank you for this website.
I know the feeling.my two kids were removed from me dyfs lies train your children not to interact with u and have people write it down they use the programs they send u too against u but remember the burden of proof is on them so u dont have to do anything they have to prove why by going to them programs u r given them there proof dont go dont sign anything dont go to none of there doctors they all work together to keep your kids
My friend has recently had her kids taken by CPS under false accusations of her x husband as well as other crimes through the police which are not true. she could not get a restraining order because of no physical proof which is a crock.
There has been physical abuse of the kids by the x husband which just came to light from her children. All three of her children have disabilities and on last visitation they looked sick and getting worse.
The police won’t do anything because it is civil and CPS only takes the side of the x husband whom never wanted the kids or has paid a cent for them. I am a friend who has not turned on her but every time she turns around somebody is accusing her of something which is so untrue.
I would really like to know how to stop these false accusations from going on and mostly to see the actual abuser to see the inside of the jail cell. If you had this happen to you or have some kind of suggestion for me to try and help my friend I would really be grateful. Thank You
chrisat4692 at msn.com
I’ve read all these stories…….
It just breaks my heart. I’m in the middle of my son, (biological Grandson) being taken a week ago today. I have raised our baby boy since he was an infant. It was made legal when he was one and a half.
I wasn’t accused of physical abuse, but of medical neglect. And It’s my own daughters saying this!! Our son has cystic fibrosis. I have traveled over a hundred miles, one way, every 3 months to get our little guy to his appointments. The Doctors have NEVER even one time told me I wasn’t doing a good job. They always told me they thought I was doing great! So I had no worries. Big mistake on my part!! Now , since the state got him, they say that His weight and growth have stagnated the last 2 years. Yet not one time did they ever tell me I needed to do something different! If they had, I would have done it in a heart beat!They always have told me I was doing a great job! They also say the he smelled of Cig. smoke. But I never smoked around him! CPS has been to my home 3 times and have NEVER seen any signs of me smoking in the house! They talked to my little guy alone for about 40 minutes, then told me he had nothing to report! No kidding?!! Now I know you can’t even trust Doctors at times. :( His biological mom, my daughter, abandoned him when he was an infant. Refused to get him or his then 3 year old brother. I didn’t report it to CPS because I didn’t want the boys put into foster care. She came to my home and said Mom, you need to get Guardianship. And I did.
My other grandson’s father stepped in and got him. But our little guy had NO ONE who wanted him but myself and my husband. Now, my daughters are all against us after all these years and they’ve taken our angel away from us. It doesn’t even matter that not ONE doctor saw any red flags of neglect on our part. They think of him as a puppy that can just be given to any other family member and think I should be happy about that! I saw him last Friday, at the end of our visit he started sobbing and say he needed to come home…..It was almost more then I could bare. He’s with one of my other daughters who’s in on this whole thing. It’s just very strange that she, along with another daughter, have had me watch their children constantly and drive them around all over, come to all the family dinners and then pull this! I feel like I’m in the twilight zone.
God Bless all of you who are out there going thru this HELL. My heart an prayers are with you. And I sure could use some prayers also…….
My teenage girls falsely accused my husband 16 month ago. Visitation was denied for 389 days. I saw them twice. Everything about the DHS and police case is wrong but they will not give it up and they are so afraid the girls will change their story and have to let us alone. I am the non-offending parent and the caseworker told me I will not get them back because I do not believe their story. No trial yet and permanent guardianship is in the immediate works. How is that possible without any proof? All the authorities have done is lie and I do not get my kids because I tell the truth. I will have my day in court! I also have kept every piece of paper and recorded every phone call and meeting for proof.
My Friends and family turned on me,
because of cps false accusations.
they say things,like just get over it,
you lost her cause you must have screwed up.my reputation is ruined,i have noone to really talk to.i hardly even go outside.i have these breakdowns every now and then,to where i cant stop crying for days in a row.
I Have A Very Scary Problem
For Obvious Reasons I Can Not Give My Name Out
I Was Working For A Lady And Everything Seemed To Be Going OK
I Did Not Realize It Until Her Daughter Told Me But One Day I Was Cleaning The Bathroom And Her Daughter Walked Up And Said Do You Know What That Is I Said No And She Laughed And Said It’s My Brothers Poop
He Gets Up In The Middle Of The Night And Wipes His Butt With His Hand And Doesn’t Know What To Do With It So He Wipes It On The Wall
Shortly After This I Came Down With The Infectious Disease Called Impetigo
I Was Concerned About The Children’s Health So In Concern For Them I Called CPS
I Reluctantly Gave my Name To CPS Only Because They Promised Me That My Name WOULD NOT BE GIVEN OUT
That Was A Big Fat Lie
In A Message From Yahoo The Mother Told Me She Got A Copy Of The CPS Report
At First I Thought She Was Lying But She Then Read Word For Word The Things I Had Told No One But CPS
That Mother Admitted To Me That She Had A Friend In CPS That Called Her And Told Her About The Report And Who Made It
Now I Am Reaping For Trying To Protect Her Kids
She Tried To Call CPS And Tell Them I Made The Report Out Of Spite
That Back Fired On Her
I Had No Problem With Her I Had A Problem That Her Kids Were Not Living In A Healthy Enviroment
That’s Not Spite That Is Love And Concern
She Has Promised To Make My Life A Living Hell And I Am Fighting Her On It
And I Did Call CPS And Told Them She Admitted To Me That She Had A Friend Get The Report
I Even Sent Them A Copy Of The Message With Her Admitting How She Got The Report
Nothing Ever Came Out Of It
Be Aware That Your Privacy IS NOT TAKEN INTO CONSIDERATION And Neither Is Your Health Or Safety
Obviously you SHOULD NEVER have called CPS! CPS is for children that are ABUSED OR NEGLECTED not bc you didn’t wear gloves when cleaning up kids poop! It didn’t occur to you to discuss with your employer/the mom your concerns over this child smearing feces on the wall? That’s poor hygiene not neglect and obviously she hired YOU top clean it up. What did you think was gonna happen when you called? The CPS report includes the person’s initials anyway so she would’ve known who it was regardless. Calling CPS over poop? WOW!!
Fern,
You mention “The best and most succinct advice is simply not to interact with them. POLITELY.”
I had a CPS ‘investigator’ show up on my doorstep on a Tuesday accusing me of ‘not having a job’, not ‘paying my rent’ and ‘not feeding the children’. I have never dealt with CPS before, so I simply showed her my bank statement that shows my direct deposit, my cleared rent check and invited her to take a look in the kitchen (where I was cooking dinner at the time). She seemed VERY agitated to be proven ‘wrong’ and proceeded to LITERALLY stomp around my house ‘looking at the living arrangements’. (I live in a brand new 4 bedroom home in a nice community) I at no time was ever rude with her, but I kept feeling increasingly uneasy.
The next thing I know, she starts asking very odd questions in a alarmingly rude way. Every answer I gave her seemed to anger her more. At the time, I did not have any idea what was going on, but looking back it was a power-trip. She had brought a police officer with her that night and had planned to take the kids, I am sure of it. But nothing she accused me of was correct, all three kids were fine, I was in the middle of cooking dinner and whatever report she was investigating was blowing up in her face.
Toward the end of the conversation, she became nearly belligerent; telling me that teenage boys should not be expected to share in household responsibilities. That I as the mother should be the one who cooks every single night, washes all the dishes, cleans all the laundry etc etc.. (Looking back I should have asked her where the book was on how high to shove a silver spoon).
I am a single mother of three boys who works at home. Most people think when you ‘work at home’ that you either a) run your own ‘girly’ business or b) eat bon-bons and watch oprah while some idiot corporation blindly sends you a check. Without revealing too much about myself, I bring in enough money for a two-income household, but I do have to work close to 70 hours a week (I am on salary).
The fact that we have such a tight schedule means that my two teenage boys occasionally pitch in and help with dinner; they share in chores and do their own laundry.
Being that I am ex-military, the fact that they do their own laundry is not a subject for debate. It is not ‘neglect’ , it’s called ‘discipline’ and when they are the only two in college that knows what detergent does in a washing machine, they will thank their mother.
Back to my original point, after nearly 40 minutes of listening to this woman, I finally told her that she was being rude and asked her to leave. Yes, I was polite about it, but it needed to be said.
She became more hostile and said, ‘I have to talk to the kids individually’. I told her that at this point I wanted an attorney. She looked at the cop and said, I am done here, (looking at me) I am going to talk to the kids.
About 20 minutes later she comes storming out of the kids’ bedroom, heads for my sliding glass doors and says “I need to look around the perimeter of the houseâ€. She goes straight to a garbage can that is sitting in the back of the house, removes all of the garbage from the top of it and takes pictures of beer bottles at the bottom.
Apparently, she had barraged my kids with questions and they told her that I do occasionally drink beer on the back porch. No kidding, I smoke back there too. Wow.. I’m have two teenagers, I think I pass for 21.
She hands me a piece of paper filled with ‘requirements’ that I must do to ‘keep my kids’. Excuse me?
Like I said, I have never dealt with these people before, so I told her that I was not signing anything until I speak to an attorney and that she needed to leave. Now.
The next day I wrote a complaint to her supervisor and mailed it. (thinking back I should have driven down there and handed it to her… not sure that would have made any difference).
The day after that (Thursday) she showed up at my doorstep at 10am. I politely asked her if she had a warrant or court order, she said nastily (and as if I was challenging her) ‘No, do you want me to get one?’, I told her to have a nice day and closed the door.
She stood in the driveway for over 30 minutes pacing angrily and talking on her cell phone.
The following night (this is now Friday), she came with a police officer and stole my children. When I asked her what the grounds were, she sniped, ‘Because you refused services’. When I asked who authorized the removal, she picked up her badge and shoved it in my face. In a matter of four days, she removed my children with no grounds whatsoever.
That was four months ago. I still do not have my children back and no one cares how it was done or why. They keep saying, don’t worry about what happened in the past… we have to work on putting your family back together.
In the meantime I have jumped through more loops, taken more time off of work, paid lawyer’s fees and gone through ‘evaluations’ with presumptuous questions that have no right answers. If you answer in a way that doesn’t conform, they put down something else. (One doctor even told me that he does these evaluations on a contract and that there were ‘certain things’ they (CPS) expect to see when they get it back. Nice huh?)
There is no ‘being polite’ with these people.
My advice is if they come to your house and the situation seems weird, get the hell outta there and take your kids to a relative’s house in another county. MOVE. Treat them like what they are and protect your children. They are legalized kidnappers, plain and simple!
Now that I have shared my story here, I have questions to ask all of you.
What is the point? Do these ‘protective investigators’ get bonuses for removing children? Do they get demerits if a report is wrong? Why would this woman be SO determined to tear up a family that she knows nothing about?
It doesn’t make any sense to me at all.
“It takes a village to raise a child.” Whatever happened to that? It used to be that communities and neighborhoods were full of people who looked out for each other out of concern for their own families and children. A concept born out of mutual respect and adherence to the “GOLDEN RULE”. Now all it takes is THE VILLAGE IDIOT to call CPS (A PRACTICE THAT SHOULD BE AS ILLEGAL AS S.W.A.T.TING) and from that moment on the IDIOT receives prestige, protection, anonymity and attention while you (the parent) are given the presumption of guilt. Just you dare to attempt to prove otherwise, after all you’re the parent and all parents suffer from some amount of parental guilt. It’s human nature and can be a powerful and useful parenting tool. Unfortunately, natural parental guilt, is what those PREDATORS from CPS are trained to pounce on!
i am involved with cps right now because i used to have a extremly active 4 year old little boy. since all this has started he no longer wants to go outside and play or ride his bike. He no longer wants to roughhouse with his 8 year old brother, because he is so afraid of getting hurt and getting taken away. cps has told me it is not proper behavior for my boys to wrestle and roughhouse.my 4 year old has been interviewed by someone from the states cps team and by a state police detective.they have had him seen by the states cps doctor . they have not recieved reports from the state police detective or the states cps doctor but theyopened a case againsst me in court and they made me sign a paper for an informal adjustment if i didnt sign it they said i would go to jail and my kids would go to foster care.when all this started they made me pull my son from his babysitter and put him with one of thier people, the lady that is watching him right now is not even a daycare provider she is a fosster parent. i have to report every injury he recieves within 24 hours.the thrid day the new sitter watched him she took him to the park and he hit his forehead on the slide and he got a bruise about the size of a half dollar when i reported it they said its ok because she was watching him as if i dont watch my children.
I am 2 1/2 yrs into my battle w/DCFS here in L.A. and fit the living dead description many of you have attributed to yourselves. My only hope of resurrection is via my representation (Carlson, deKlerk, Sherman and Rale) your fellowship on this site, my newly found angel, Doris Haley w/the Help Group, and allies like Mandy and Brian Blundell who informed me about this site. I am having a crisis of faith so God isn’t makin’ the list right now. The cross is getting too heavy.
Until now, when I walked up my narrow, insular street I felt as though I was either a leper or a ghost as the same neighbors who gave me thumbs up as a mom now want me run off the street based on certain of my daughter’s unsubstantiated allegations.
I am ready to shed the stigma. Because my case is still in litigation, I will not comment on details, but my parental rights have been terminated and the sentence did not fit the “crime.” To shorthand the dynamics: Single mom, older child adoption, mother-teenage daughter conflict, meddling neighbors w/more goodies than mom. In the meantime, rather than consider healing our disconnect, disassociative tendancies have been engrained even deeper as a history of more disconnects evolves as she is punted from house to house on our street. Now she is currently living with a neighbor whose companion who has a criminal record which the DCFS conveniently does not want to know about. In all fairness, my former daughter is nearly 17 and does not want to return home, but at least before she went into her current placement we had a pulse. Now, because of the DCFS drama, our relationship has flatlined. Although we live on the same street, we pass each other in silence as I am not allowed to have contact with her and the neighbors who were instrumental in leading DCFS to my door, if not pointing the way to it, now claim they are not involved.
VETERAN COURT WATCHERS
CALL TO ACTION
http://www.veterancourtwatchers.com/index.htm
A former attorney, and public prosecutor from Portland Oregon , Roger Weidner, and a few American Veterans in Chicago , Illinois , issues this CALL TO ACTION for all American Veterans nationwide, to serve in support as Court Watchers, as we restore courts of constitutional “due process†where truth and justice once again protects the innocent and punishes the corrupt.
WHY VETERAN COURT WATCHERS?
Mr. Roger Weidner, (rogerweidner.com) is the impetus behind this effort, and therefore the resident expert. Veteran Court Watchers are needed to assist Mr. Weidner, and to be taught to duplicate the process. Precious little time is available to convert non-believers. I call your attentionto the CALL TO ACTION where is stated: “All personal agendas not consistent with this effort must be checked at the door.”
To register as a Veteran Court Watcher contact:
http://www.chicagoshowbiz.com http://www.veterancourtwatchers.com
CPS REFORM is a MUST, MUST, MUST!!!!!
RULE 53 REFORM is a MUST, MUST, MUST!!!!!
When in doubt, read this article AGAIN!!!!!!!
http://www.jbs.org/node/4632
This is Child Protection?
By Gregory A. Hession, J.D.
My journals.aol.com/ [email protected] /RULE-53-REFORM-BLAWG-LAW-OAR-ORS/
i understand i been fighting now for an year and 3 months its my family who is be hind it so no support system and there are so many lies.
I never told my family about my experience with DHS (Department of Human Services). I’m an only child and my parents were 500 miles away. They were going through some issues at the time with my grandfather having Alzheimers and my grandmother trying to care for him at home. Plus, my father was forced to take early retirement or be downsized. My child was not removed from my home, though, or I would have told my parents, I would not have been able to hold myself together to talk to them on the phone. Some of the loneliest times I remember was when I talked to my parents on the phone and said yes, everything’s fine, we’re fine, etc. but it wasn’t. An anonymous phone call accusing me of physical abuse destroyed my life. The joy I had at being a mom was taken from me. I was subjected to home visits, threats of child removal if I didn’t attend counseling, my personal life was turned inside out. I tried to cooperate but that just made things worse. They took whatever I said and twisted it. I was cleaning out closets and had boxes out for Goodwill, and the social worker wrote that I had a messy house. I had a wine rack in the kitchen with TWO bottles in it that had been there for months and they asked me if I had an alcohol problem. I told them I just wanted to be left alone and they said I was antisocial. I was never sure who made the anonymous phone call (they did tell me it was anonymous) but I suspect a neighbor who weighed about 400 pounds and couldn’t have her own kids. She was always watching us from her window when I took my daughter out to play.
Our friends and family have been extremely supportive. I’ve read here on line that we are entitled to an attorney, if you can not afford one, one will be appointed for you. The magistrate (criminal action) ruled we had too many assets as we own a local business and refused. we can’t afford one, just because you own a business does not mean you have money! So my parents thankfully gave us the $1500 up front that the attorney wanted. He does specialize in domestic abuse cases.
Friends locally who hear about this say “You’ve got to be kidding me!” You are the best with children. all these kids would not want to come here if you weren’t. And similar comments.
My question is this. The inital allegations made to the Sheriff were said in hysteria. Per the girls (3 of them all teens) they told the Sheriff they “made a mistake and just wanted to go home”. The Sheriff threatened all 3 girls. The 2 older ones, 16, “if you do not write this statement and put in there exactly what you told me, I will then charge you with perjury and try you as an adult”. Scared with going to jail themselves, they complied. The 15-yod was similarly threatened, but with juvenile detention center.
The CPS worker has also threatened the girls, most recently arresting me on a drunk and disorderly, which I was not on the morning after my husband was arrested. I was an emotional wreck as the 3 girls were walking down the driveway with suitcases packed and I followed thru on a threat to call 911 and report them as runaways. 11 a.m., sitting at the end of my steps drinking coffee, phone in hand. I never moved, never got up, threatened anyone, just cried. Is that drunk & disorderly?
So what to do when children report false allegations, then both the police and CPS threaten them if they want to recant and tell the truth?
One of the most damning allegations is that a 911 call was interrupted. this is a felony. A 911 call was never interrupted by us. The kids claim my husband did it from the house phone. I have the phone records. No 911 call was made from the house phone. We highly suspect it was from a cell phone as the address was not our address, but went to the nearest cell tower by us.
I told very few people about the kids being taken- only people I trust. I’ve pretty much dropped out of several online communities rather than either admit what happened or try to pretend my life was still normal.
Of course, people who saw me with the kids all the time noticed that the kids were gone, and asked, so I told. They knew I was a good mom, and knew that my son had issues, so they understood.
I know people assume that if CPS takes your kids, it’s because you are a horrible parent, you beat your kids, drink, and do drugs, and CPS is just doing what’s right.
I know foster parents are taught to tell kids their parents couldn’t keep them safe.
I know if I go around telling people what happened and why it’s completely wrong, they won’t believe me.
Instead, I just let them figure things out for themselves. My kids’ foster mom has seen how they react to me (big hugs!), and how they react to the social worker who seized them (cringing, asking to leave NOW, locking the door behind her, etc). She knows who cares about the kids’ best interest and who is just trying to CYA.
THIS HAPPENED TO ME! BUT MY FAMILY REALIZED THAT THIS WAS TRUE THAT CPS WAS WRONG. ESPECIALLY WHEN BECAUSE THEY WERE HELPING ME THEY DRAGGED THEM IN THE ALLEGATIONS AND TRYING TO GET THEM NOT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CONTACT WITH MY CHILDREN!!! CPS NEEDS TO CHANGE.
My friends were supportive, it is the people in my town that don’t know me but have heard about my daughter being removed from my care, with their sideways glances and gossiping that is most difficult for me to handle.
Family? My family ceased to exist for me on Oct. 14 2004, when my mom called CPS to make yet another false report of abuse and neglect that resulted in a social worker and a deputy comming to my house and axing my door down while my daughter and I were sleeping. They made me get her dressed, pack her a bag and place her in the social workers car telling her she was going to grandmas house. That was the last time I ever held my baby without some self righteous SW breathing down my neck.
My mom finally succeeded in getting what she had been after since my daughter was born……a paycheck and a retirement plan! Both my brothers have backed her all the way. I haven’t been allowed to talk to or see my daughter for over two years now. I can’t believe my own family could do this to me! I can’t believe these are the same people I grew up with and loved and have always been good to! I am in total shock! In my opinin there is nothing worse than stealing a child from a mother. I say it would have been more humane if they would have put a bullet in my head. The pain, agony, sorrow and loss of my peace of mind is far more torturous than death. My life ended at the age of 40 when they stole my child just as sure as if they had shot me. I continue to fight, it is all that keeps me going. I still hold on to the hope that one day this nightmare will be over and my daughter, her dad and me can be happy again like we once were. However, that dream is not very likely to come true because her dad is dying and probably won’t last through this ordeal. The reality is that my own family ruined our lives and what is worse they get a sick satisfaction from knowing how unhappy and wracked w/pain I am every second of every day and night. I will never be OK again unless this horrible wrong is set right! I trusted my family and they all betrayed me like no other person ever could.
CC Tllett I live in Washington, I need some help my email is Chrisrtycur at hotmail.com
Sadly, most people still believe that if DSS takes your kids, it’s because you’re an unfit parent.
I thought it was just ME!! I had my daughter illegally removed in November 2006 and ever since that day I have been fighting DYFS!!! I have had family members, whom have not spoken to my daughter in YEARS, claim to know her better than I do!!! They have called DYFS and said my daughter was in DANGER, that I was a VICTIM of domestic violence. My first DYFS worker stated if she got anymore calls about my family, she was taking my daughter!!! Guess what, she DID!!! I am still fighting and I will not give up!!!
Susan, Are you in Washington State?
If so please contact Washingtonfamiliesunited.org. We may be able to help or at least give you some ideas.
CC Tillett/wfu/vp
CPS has DESTROYED this family. They have pitted my mother & her ‘partner’ against my husband & I. They have tried to break up my marriage of 15 years as well! My kids are being raised in a non traditional lesbian household! Does my mother think she can do better with them? MY childhood was HELL! I don’t want that for my kids. They deserve to be with 2 parents who love them who were NEVER abusive or neglectful! One of our caseworkers is friends with my mother! she goes over to their house and they even admit it! Where is the justice??? Thank God for my friends and coworkers who have supported me through this, as well as all the online groups & myspace people I correspond with. If it weren’t for you all, I probably would not be here!
I too thought “CPS only takes children from bad parents” until I was hospitalized and had my daughter taken. I experienced family turning on me (mother who thought she’d be getting a huge state check to care for her own grandchild – when it didn’t happen she turned her over to the state). I experienced a worker who said(AND I QUOTE) “Any parent who does everything right is the parent I don’t trust, and in all the years I have been a cps worker I have NEVER recommended any child be returned home.” This worker did absolutely everything possible to sabatoge my daughter coming home. I was never found to be abusive or neglectful – I was ill. But she didn’t care, nor did she care that my daughter was suffering from abuse in foster care or just from being denied her loving mother. I thank God for Families United and for the internet that allowed me to research, learn, connect and fight. It’s been four years and she still deals with the trauma they put her through. However, the experience has made me be a stronger and better mother.
Folks who have been reported to CPS, for anything, often find that they, too, might resort to calling CPS on you.
For any reason.
CPS needs clients to survive.
And often, CPS knocks when folks are experiencing hard times.
The best and most succinct advice is simply not to interact with them.
POLITELY.
Very hard—-since Moms often go into a defensive, talkative mode.
Yes, it is hard for folks to realize that CPS and their 23 yo caseworkers are simply drumming up business.
On the lighter side, *Youtube*
‘DOC OVIOUS’ FOR A LOOK AT contradictions within CPS and their interventions.
Please Moms—practice good manners and don’t go overly defensive when CPS comes a knockin’.
Be smarter and network with others in your community to talk to the powers that be.
Linda, there are some funny clips on Youtube.com about “child protective*
Of course, it is NOT funny when families are experiencing ‘GUBMENT HELP’
Linda,
Thank You..It was kind of like a hug..I need that. :) CC Tillett
Thanks for letting us know the rest of the story. I feel for your brother, your nephew, and the whole family. The heartache of losing a child is worse than any other. I hope your brother’s friend realizes how much your brother needs understanding and compassion right now. And thanks also for your work with Washington Families United.
This article was written about my brother, although no names were mentioned. I would like to keep it that way for privacy reasons.
The article did make a mistake though, after questioning my brother at length. It was the friend that hit him in the leg with the pipe, not vice-a-versa..
I am Vice-President of washingtonfamiliesunited.org Along with my President, Elaine Wolcott-Ehrhardt we ran with this article. We are currently involved with a blog , that does not allow us to be so honest.
I have tried to adopt my nephew.
They gave me the final “NO” when the Kitsap County AAG, Peter Kaye and the “DEPARTMENT” filed a “SUMARRY JUDGEMENT” against me . Of course they won. The judge that heard this , was the same judge that terminated my brothers parental rights. Not only have I spent thousands of dollars in attorney fees,I have basically depleated my lifes savings,taken a second out on my home, and have taken money out of my retirement.
I would do it again in a heart beat for this child. He is the only son, of an only son, of an only son. Our families only name bearer.
I have kept every scap of paper work, every e-mail, all very organized in three 6 inch binders, so this kid will know how much his family fought for him and loved him. And so he can sue this department, if that is is wish, when he turns 18,. There are so many discrepancies in this case it would make your head spin. Actually they aren’t discreancies..they are lies..
This past legisaltive session, Washington Families United really got involved. We, with the help of many others were able to get HB 1624 passed..98-0. This allows children who are 12 and older, who have not been adopted and it has been three years without permenancy, to petion the courts for re-instatement of their parental rights.
I will never go away. They have my blood. I will do what ever it takes and for how ever long it takes.
Thank you for letting me bend your ear.
CC Tillett
Vice-President
Washington Families United
Thats another reason to sue CPS , if you were victimize by CPS , To reinstate your rebutation,