TPR Parents… New Networking Opportunity for Parents Who Have Been Through a Termination of Parental Rights

Are you a parent whose parental rights have been terminated? Are you in need of support and understanding from others who have been through a termination of parental rights?

I’ve noticed more and more recently that parents who have been through a termination of parental rights are coming to this site, often looking for ways to reconnect with their children.

We all know that after TPR and adoption it is very unlikely that the children will ever be recovered.

I’ve heard of only a few such cases. There was unification with a natural parent when an adoption fell through. This is so very unlikely. I’m sorry, so very sorry… and I feel the pain of those who have lost their kids either temporarily and permanently. We are all connected, and I tend to connect to that pain so I’m with you on wanting the pain to stop and wanting some kind of resolution and an end to the trauma experienced by parents who have been TPR’ed.

God has put it on my heart to start a new message board area on our message board forum, called TPR Parents.

TPR Parents is a place for parents who have been through a termination of parental rights to network about ways to reconnect with their children, cope with the trauma of separation, and promote advocacy against this cruel system of family destruction.

I hope that many of you who have been through this horrible traumatic attack on your soul, your spirit, your motherhood or fatherhood, will find some benefit and support from sharing your issues and concerns with others in the same situation.

Here are a few suggestions I’ve got for parents who have been through a termination of parental rights (TPR).

1. Set up a blog at to write to your children. The goal would be that your children would eventually find your blog, their childhood photos, and stories about their early days, and thereby know how much you love them, and what led to their time in foster homes.

2. Do the same on Facebook, and any other major social media site that comes up in the future. Get your name out there for the kids to find. Moreover, get their names out there, because eventually almost everyone Googles their own name to see what’s there.

3. While doing what I suggested above, do not put anything potentially embarrassing on the web. For example, if a child has been sexually abused you should NOT mention that as it would cause them a ton of embarrassment when their school friends see it… and they could end up hating you for that. Use caution and wisdom in setting up any websites or pages concerning your children. They would be most interested in reading nice stories you remember about them while they were growing up.

4. Learn about court cases in your area regarding parents whose rights have been terminated. You can find these at a law library in your county. Look for appellate cases. Share those on the message board for TPR Parents. Educate yourself about the law as much as you can.

5. If you’re praying for help, wait for God’s timing. In the Bible there are many references to waiting, because God isn’t on our time schedule. For example: Psalm 37:34 is one I saw during my morning Bible study today: “Wait on the LORD, and keep his way, and he shall exalt you to inherit the land: when the wicked are cut off, you shall see it.” Enlisting the help of God by sincere faith in Jesus is the most effective way to get traction, because God is the only one more powerful than the evil child welfare system that takes children and destroys families. Don’t expect instant results from God because He heals us through waiting, but keep the faith and know that if you give it all to Him, He will be there for you.

6. Strengthen yourself mentally. Do not give in to a desire to use drugs or alcohol to numb the pain you’re feeling. This will only cause more problems, and soon these substances will control you.

7. Learn about the effects of trauma, and examine your life to see how much this has affected you. Start a self-healing journal, and be kind to yourself. We all go through difficult times, some more than others, it is true. If you’re filled with guilt and shame, realize that almost all people go through that. Only sociopaths don’t feel bad about things they’ve done. And we are all sinners; every one of us has made mistakes. That’s the human condition. So don’t feel alone. Don’t feel stigmatized. We’re all in this together.

8. Increase in wisdom. A good place to start is to read the Biblical book of Proverbs. There are 31 chapters. Many people read one chapter each day, reading through the book once each month, repeatedly. The more wisdom you get, the better your life will become, and in the event that your children return to you someday, you’ll be better able to help them with their trauma, troubles, and despair.

9. Help as an activist to expose and change the CPS system. Your help is crucial, because most people who still have their children are afraid to speak out. You may want to be quiet, hide the pain, and hide the truth about what happened to you. Maybe you’re afraid of what others will say. However if you speak out about injustice and corruption, bravely, fearlessly, you’re more likely to get the respect of others than if you cower in fear and shame. Go to congress, tell them your story. Ask for new laws that will protect people from experiencing what happened to you. It could be that your pain will be transformed into something powerful and beautiful, giving a benefit to all others who come behind you.

Okay, those are only a few suggestions. Anyone else wanting to give comfort, helpful advice, or information to TPR’ed parents, please leave a comment below.

Update – 4/29/15 – Read what Candy wrote.

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    • Justice74 says

      Why would they? Strange question…you can give a birth at home, in the forest, in the car, on a boat, anywhere you wish…its your God given right.

  1. Candace Mayfield says

    I have a question for anyone who may have a answer my sister lost all her parental rights to her son like 11 years ago she has found him on a social media website and has been messaging with him lately can she get in trouble since all her rights were terminated years ago

  2. Michelle Burckhard says

    Hello I am a grieving mother that unjustly lost custody of all four of my kids back in 2000. I battled 3 differant custody battles all initiated by a paternal aunt and uncle that are very wealthy. They falsely accused me of being unfit and a drug addict. No harm was ever proven. They all conspired together to support each others cases. My kids were kept from me and from each other. My one daughter was sexually mollested by the uncle, I strongly believe the aunt was aware of this going on. When it was finally exposed by accident she quickly divorsed the husband got hundreds of thousands of dollars, he just got out of prison aftr only serving 8 years. My youngest who is 15 is still living witht his abusive father that had me convicted for dv and also made false reports to cps, saying that I caused injuries to my son, when infact he admitted to me that he used me for the scapegoat on that. I lost everything became homeless and spent the last 15 years in hell trying to make it back to life. I have recently been gathering evidence, coppies of court papers and orders I never got to see and I want to hold all of these people accountable for destroying my family. Oh one more thing, upon looking at all of my final court orders, I find it very strange that where my signature is suppose to be it is stamped not appearing, while all other parties are present with council. I need help. Any suggestions?

  3. Dee says

    Sister lost all her kids voluntary and one TPR dcf would not give her a chance no matter what she did neither would the judge she is clean for 2 years now and remarried and is pregnant and wants to start over how does DCF from florida find out she had a baby and if at birth the baby is drug free and mom do they have the right to get involved with new child on past TPR in another state and where is a safe place to have your child how does fla dcf find out you even had a baby? Medicaid? social security number? Are you flagged in all systems of Hospitals and would it be best to have a Midwife or just get out of the US. And if you have the child in another state should you have an attorney ready just in case DCF comes through the door of your hospital room,

    • says

      Dee, the TPR follows the parent, not the child. If she’s lost rights to one child, she loses parental rights to all of them because they’ve decided she cannot be a parent. If the caseworkers are aware of her new baby, they can walk into the hospital and get it. They will probably know her plans in advance and have cooperation from the obstetrician and hospital… and the hospital will notify CPS when she shows up for child birth. As to how to get around all that . . . well, you mentioned home birth and giving birth in another country. The state has computer systems that track people if they are on any kind of assistance program like Medicaid. Medicaid computers contain codes that identify prior CPS involvement. I don’t know if they can track people across state lines. It seems reasonable to believe they can. Yes, having an attorney is a good idea. I know that sometimes parents are allowed to keep their children after an earlier TPR but in many cases CPS has shown up to pick up the baby from the hospital and they are not then required to offer visitation or a reunification plan because of the earlier TPR. Good luck with the situation. You are a kind person to try to help.

      • Kristen says

        Linda, Does CPS put your name on the child abuse registry if u consent voluntary or is it just if u unvoluntary lose your rights? Do they place your name on that registry after the tpr hearing even if u consented and didn’t do nothing wrong? The reason I ask is cuz I had toget abuse clearances and a full background check toget into nursing school and it came back fine.. Not sure if I have to worry about them putting my name on the registry or not? U see CPS told me if I didn’t consent they would put my name on the abuse registry and I am kind of pissed cuz I think they played me into signing when I didn’t want to. Also if your name isn’t put into the registry how can CPS know if u have babies in the future? Is it a separate database they look at instead or is it all in one system? Does a CPS case officially close once the parent consents or do they wait till tpr hearing ? Should I be worried of them still coming after me when this baby is born, even though I consented and my name isn’t coming up in the registry or federal database?

        • says

          Kristen – you asked a lot of questions about the registries, and I am sorry to say I don’t have all the answers. Part of the problem is that the laws, regulations, and policies vary from state to state. Nobody could memorize all the different laws, a job that would be harder due to having rules change. I found the ACF page about Establishment and Maintenance of Central Registries for Child Abuse Reports – it gives general information, plus summaries of state laws.

          Since you didn’t go through TPR, your child probably won’t automatically be picked up by social workers. However if everyone involved knows about your CPS history and the social worker is concerned about your ability to parent, it is possible another investigation could take place. It is hard to say what they’ll do because every situation is different.

          • Kristen Lott says

            Linda, do you know if Catholic Hospitals report to Cps? I heard from a lot of people if I have my baby at a Catholic hospital they won’t report me to cps.. is that true?

            • says

              Kristen, I don’t know if it is less likely at a Catholic hospital. That’s possible, because they aren’t being paid by the county… but all doctors and nurses are mandated reporters so if there’s something seriously concerning about a family, they are by law forced to report it. If they don’t report, there are penalties written into the state laws.

    • Justice74 says

      Homebirth preferably in a different State if you can’t get out of the country. Women has done this on their own since the beginning of time. The Mother Nature takes care of everything and the risk of complications is much lower than if you gave birth in a hospital.
      I also read somewhere that the Jewish Hospitals don’t report to CPS! It is worth investigating.
      I did see in the news where cops came to arrest a women and remove her newborn, who didn’t give birth because someone who ended testing positive for drugs had used these women’s name and sox.sec. number. You can pretend you don’t speak English. You can pretend you were visiting family out of State and weren’t suppose to give birth till next week…just make sure that your story and the story of whoever is with you matches. Be calm and composed and don’t answer any personal questions. The Hospital staff are snitches and they do video and audio tape without your consent. So don’t whisper because they will hear that too. Make sure you choose a Hospital who doesn’t have a social worker on staff, those Hospitals are the worst.
      Have faith, be smart, educate yourself…and be prepared for anything…

    • Brandon says

      Dee I had an acquaintance who lost 5 children got clean went to another state and had no problems, the baby is being raised by it’s grandparents but that has nothing to do with cps. Now my sil lost custody of 4 children and was on methadone (legally through Medicaid) and the baby tested positive only for methadone and they took the baby away she didn’t lie about being on it gave paperwork from her methadone clinic when she registered and they still took the baby. Midwives aren’t covered by Medicaid and are considered private because you pay cash for their services and I don’t believe they go through the system except for vital records plus with a midwife your at your house and so you don’t have to let them in. And then there’s always unassisted pregnancy and childbirth but if she decides to go that route there’s a whole lot of research she needs to do to prepare mentally for it, and I suggest that she tells no one of her plans if anyone asks she’s having a homebirth and leave it at that. Unassisted births aren’t illegal but people try to scare you and say that they are there’s only one state that has a law pertaining to freebirths and all it says is that the father can’t catch the baby unless it’s an emergency birth situation, if she decides to it she should join unassisted birth groups on Facebook they are a ton of help good luck ????

  4. proud mom of 5 boys says

    Im from Texas and my five boys were takin from me a year ago and i recently found out that they’re up for adoption my no it’s willing o adopt them but she had a dwi which the judge knew about and was still willing to give her a chance but my caseworker never kept in contact with us we tried to get apps of her numerous times n nothing please if aanyone has any advise please tell me. Thanks

    • says

      Proud mom of 5 boys – have your rights been terminated? Already? After a year the judge might prefer to let the foster parents adopt… so the kids wouldn’t need to move again. Your relative should have an attorney to advise her on the case status and the likelihood that she could get kinship care at this point. If your rights are terminated the caseworkers might not consider your relatives to still be legal relatives of the children.

    • suzanne says

      I have story that will blow you away, My rights to my youngest child were terminated due to me missing a court date. My older children’s father adopted her. ( he was 67 and she was 5) I believe this to be an attempt by DCF to keep the kids together,

      4 years later he is arrested for physically abuse of one of his biological child ( my child also) DCF steps in and gives all three children to me????

      Its been 15 months they have closed their case , the state did not press charges for the child abuse but there is an injunction that i took out that he has violated twice,
      We are heading now to family court as I have no rights to the child but everyone has known that for 15mths….

      I could really use some advice, i have no lawyer I have been pro se this whole time. I petitioned dependency court to try and get an answer how they could eave a child with me but refuse to give me any rights??? they still left the child with me and said its a family matter and that we needed to go to family court…

      Now he only wants the youngest the one he adopted i am so scared he will get her. He is a very angry and has proven to be very abusive who will protect her???

      • says

        Suzanne, I’m not qualified to give legal advice… because I’m not a lawyer. If you want advice on your case you really do have to be willing to pay a lawyer. I would start shopping around. Most family law attorneys are willing to give you a short free consultation to see if they want to take on your case. You might be able to make a deal with one of them for representation.

        • cleopatra92591 says

          Also if there is Legal aid where you are at they might work for free for you if you qualify

  5. Olivia says

    Hello, my name is Olivia. My parental rights to my daughter were terminated a few months ago. I moved to another state because my mother is trying to adopt her and CPS was saying that I was conspiring to take my daughter back into my care once my mother adopts her. That was untrue and my lawyer set me up to say exactly what led them to use that against us. They have assassinated my character and have held our pasts against us. I keep moving forward though, putting one foot in front of the other, and my level of acceptance has grown more each day. However, I’d like to join a march against CPS if there are any. And if not, I’d like to start one. I live near Gainesville, FL. My CPS case was in WV. Thanks.

  6. Ash says

    I live in Florida. Does anyone know what forms I need to file to petition to reopen a termination of parental rights case? And who do I need to petition against? The state? I signed my rights away due to being coerced from my “public defender” and cps. I was told I had no choice and that was my option. I have since proved that the picture they painted of me was untrue and have evidence to prove. And some more points in my favor that I really do not want to post here. :) But I just need to know where to start. And what to file. Thanks!

  7. Peanut says

    I am a 25 year old mom who is in a private court case against a non relative family that has my three year old. They first tried to get me for abandonment but that didn’t fall through, so now they’re trying to use past depression that happened three to six years prior to terminate my rights. I gave them my daughter because my family abandoned me and has not spoken to me for three years and at the time I was homeless and was trying to build a life for us. So I entrusted my treausre to them.

  8. Christien Huddlestoon says

    You all may very well of seen me on the News. I was famous when they took my kids. Wanna know what really happened in Van Buren,Arkansas Sept. 2010? They fucked me thats what happened. The school lost my oldest 2 daughters by putting them on the wrong bus. Thats not the worst part the bus driver made my girls 5 and 6 years old, that bus driver made them get off the bus. The cops found them walking down the street. So of course Im pist. I went to the school going off on them. Im ready to press charges. I go home after this and the next morning the police are at my door. Saying my youngest kids were suppose ofly at the school accross the street. Invision 2 twins 5 months old crawling out of their bouncers and going into the street. They were bearly sitting up by themselves. This cop tricks me. Im at the time a single mom of 7 kids. I worked my butt off for 7 years taking care of my children without any of their fathers to help.My parents helped me more than anyone. Anyways this cop says shes gonna get me help with my kids. I trusted that bitch. Walked her through my house and showed her all the problems the landlord hasnt fixed yet..Next thing i knoow the housing inspectors, dhs, the police all are standing in this house. Dhs was gonna let me take my kids to inlaws house, but this fucking cop had it out for me. She told dhs they had to take my kids because she was taking me to jail for child endangerment. I spent 7 years having my little world and they just come and take mine. The only kinda drug i failed for was thc and she wouldve passed me on that if i didnt already say i was gonna test positive. I freaked, i just went with my gut I was gonna kill that fucken cop. She took the only reasons i had for living. I got attempted aggravated assault on a police officer. My four year old swore the cops were gonna kill her mommy.I tried to kill myself had 43 stitches in my arm the last time I tried. I give up the devils pushed me and he can keep pushing now cause I dont give a fuck. All I wanted to do was watch my babies grow up have my little world and they took it. That was the last straw. I cant have anymore. Eventually I will die but its pointless to try to kill myself. Even the devil doesnt want my sorry ass.Ive gave birth to 10 kids and they took every single one. So whats that say about me now? Im a worthless piece of shit. In the end when they terminated my rights all they had against me was enviromental neglect. And really the land lord should have gotten in trouble for that. He knew i had 7 kids when i moved in he should’ve made sure it was safe. :) Life sucks, then u die, fuck this world I’ll just stay high.

    • Julie says

      I live in VB too & DHS came in my house, while I wasn’t home & took my son on allegations that he made. He’s 17 & been in & out of trouble, has bipolar, ADHD, etc… Because he didn’t like my rules & my house, he called DHS & claimed neglect, abuse, unsafe enviornment & more. My lawyer said DHS can make these claims stick with little or no proof. I should mention, he wanted shoes that cost $150, PS4 games, etc & I’m just trying to pay bills. So, long story short, I signed TPR, but DHS still is harassing me & my boyfriend. How can Crawford County do this? He was the proven liar & theif…was on probation for theft. Can you sue DHS for harassment?

    • Cody says

      Same thing happens to me I was at a friends and they waited at my house till I came home my boyfriends dad set us up and told us they had a few questions for us and that was it got home made us test then said we were high around our kid which we were not even home and had my mom baby sit they told me if I ever got back with my babies dad I’ll never see my kid agai. And I did get back with him to get her back together I finished everything except 5 weeks of anger management before they took my rights in court they argued about how good I was doing for about 15 minutes even the judge said I had did what I said and was told the. Seconds later took my rights my public defender didn’t help what so ever and I believe e the grandparents chose adoption over gaurdianship also in my paperwork I dont see anything about open or closed adoption what does this mean I called the adoption lady and asked her does anyone have answers I didn’t get my baby for testing for medications that I was prescribed based off a mental health assessment that they made me take. But the test are considered dirty based off what? A prescription that u asked for me to be given I know they want my child Bcuz she is under 3 and adorable. Cfs sells kids that have good genes and I’ve heard this many times I was set up and lead on and then smashe into pieces now my life is ruined because Cfs took my baby and I can’t live without her and I know for a fact I have a case if I can get a lawyer. Idk what to do tho or how to do it I’m 23 and they put me out to be this horrible mom cuz the dad didn’t do anything. And his parents have her and he can see her whenever but I need proof of clean test to even see her for a whole Saturday what do Ido??????

      • says

        Cody, I know this is a hard time for you… but you still have visitation rights – that’s a good thing. If you have a reunification plan do everything on the list of court ordered services. Do your testing. Never ever miss a visitation or they will say that’s neglect. You will have to become stronger than ever before. Pray a lot. You will have to work and get a home to show you can take care of your baby. Keep reading this site and build a strategy for fighting for your child in court.

  9. Kristen says

    Children and youth services took my two kids from me two years due to a domestic violence relationship I was in and now they just agreed to terminate my rights which the caseworker and my lawyer told me if I want a chance to have my baby that I am pregnant with i should voluntarily sign my rights cuz they say if my rights are involuntary taken that any children I have in the future will be taken from me. they basically gave me the option of voluntary signing my rights or waiting and them doing it. I need need to know what is best and is this true, can they come after u either way or just if u lose your rights?

    • says

      Kristen – they can always, always come after you again… but it is true that if you go through a TPR trial and lose, they can immediately take your future children without any other cause, and not even give you visitation or a reunification plan. It is a hard decision to make. I feel for you…

      • Wendi says

        I can’t believe they can do that and not give you a reunification plan. How can you be OK to raise one baby and not the other?

        • says

          Wendi, it has been that way since 1996 when the ASFA law was passed. (ASFA = Adoptions and Safe Families Act, a federal law.) Their intent is to place more children in the government adoptions mill in every state.

          • Wendi says

            Linda Jo, Your web page is really opening my eyes. I was a foster parent and wanted to ultimately add to my family. We had a baby (gorgeous) with in a couple of weeks and he became ours officially nine months later. I remember looking at their plan for reunification and honestly I am not sure if I would have been able to do everything they wanted his Mom to do within the time frame they gave her, and I was the CPS “approved” parent. My husband and I thought we were giving a child a home and parents they needed. But I always ache for his Mom and wonder if without CPS being involved she would have found a way. BTW I send her photos and catch her up on him every couple of months and since then she has had another child who will be in our sons life one day too. Thanks for all of the information. I appreciate it.

      • Selena says

        Does this also happen if your not in the original state that your rights we’re terminated I’ve heard of some people being able to keep there new baby if they moved from the original state

        • says

          Selena, there are no hard and fast rules on who gets to keep their babies after TPR and who doesn’t. If they know you’ve had a TPR, then there’s a good possibility they’ll take your baby. But sometimes they don’t. There are no specific rules on why they wouldn’t. Like most things about how CPS operates, it is decided by the subjective whims of the CPS supervisors.

          • Selena says

            Thank you Linda just really hope with moving out of the state that took my babies I might actually be able to be a mom it’s really all I want I miss my other kid’s terribly and tired of being targeted by these people just because of my choice in men please if you have any advice on how to stay outta there radar let me know

            • says

              Selena, I stayed out of their trap by staying away from drugs and alcohol and doing everything I could to follow the law of the land. And I was lucky. A lot of people get involved with CPS because of things that are not in their control. All you can do is try. Parenting is not an easy job.

              • Selena says

                Linda, I’ve never done drug’s I’m clean and sober and as I said before just hoping thwy don’t find out about this pregnancy I’m wandering if there is a system that the hospitals have that tell them or how it works I’ve tried to look into home birth but it’s just to expensive I just want to have my baby and not have them remove it at birth cause honestly I don’t know if I can do it all again I would lose it I’m a good mom and I just want to be one but in Florida they can take and keep your kid’s for any reason and there counselors lie and say you don’t make progress and then they take your baby forever please if you have any info help me to become a mom and parent for the first time they have taken every child I’ve ever had

                • says

                  Selena, if the doctors or hospital know you have a history with CPS they will probably call CPS to show up and evaluate the situation before letting you take your child home. One possible solution is to not tell people that CPS stole your children. By the way, what you spoke of about how they operate – that’s happening in many if not most states, not just Florida.

        • Justice74 says

          It’s better not to tell anyone about your TPR, especially medical staff. If you move to another state keep your past secret. If ever during your medical care you sense a change in attitude towards you….you run. That could mean that CPS is after you. To give birth at home is also an option and it’s perfectly legal in every state. This way CPS for sure will not be able to file a petition to remove your baby since they will not know what gender it is or when it was born.

      • Kristen says

        It doesn’t make sense to me why they do that to innocent parents. Recently after fighting for my son and daughter for two years I was backed into a corner and was coerced to sign consents to my two kids. At the time I was thinking it was the best thing since I am expecting in sept another child and wanted to protect him from Cys. Now after talking to a few lawyers and other people I am not sure I did the right thing cuz they are saying that even if u consented that Cys can show up to hospital and take this child. The question is how can they do that when I been living in another county for over a year and have no open case with that county.? I completed all my services and I even gave them what they wanted when they ask me to sign. Why would they come to the new county and take this baby when the case with my other two is basically almost closed. Wouldn’t they be stepping out of their jurisdiction if u live in another area.? Should I be concerned that they will show up to hospital even though they don’t know I Am pregnant and take this baby? Should I have a lawyer retained in case they get a report that I had a baby? Another question if Cys doesn’t know your pregnant and your case is basically closed in the old county how can they find out that u had a baby in a new county and come and try to take it? I really could use some information cuz I done completed all my services successfully in the old county the only reason they wanted me to sign was cuz my kids enjoyed the home they lived in and that’s why I agreed to consents. I been through so much heartache in the past two years and finally I am happy and excited for this baby that’s coming. I don’t want to be punished for something that happened three years ago. I am in a better stable situation and just want to bring my son home from hospital when he is born..

        • says

          Kristen, I’m sorry to say I don’t have all the answers to your questions. I wish you were living further away from the county that took your children. I don’t know of any cases where parents automatically had their babies picked up after they voluntarily signed termination papers for their older children… but if your case is still open when you give birth, that might be a reason for them to interfere. I guess one of the most important factors is – what does you obstetrician know about your CPS case? If the doctor knows about your children being detained, s/he might call CPS because you have a history there. Also, does the hospital know? If nobody has any reason to connect you with CPS, you’re less likely to be targeted.

    • says

      If they do TPR then that finds you unfit by the courts if you sign over then your not unfit to save your new baby, go into a domestic womans shelter now and stay there till court is over, they will help you dcf or cps likes to see woman in domestic violence shelters and it looks good in court that you are in a safe place and getting counciling do whatever it takes if your still with the same guy get away to protect your child they will use it against you and they will say your still in a violent situation and the new child is not safe did you complete the case plan? parenting class? were you late ever or missed any they will use anything they can against you, The womans shelter is there to help save your family and keep them together go for counciling its free then bring them to court with you, you must have your own weapons in court

      • says

        Dawn, I do not trust domestic violence shelters. They work as informants for CPS. Women in domestic violence shelters have “battered women’s syndrome” which means they usually will go back to the abusive man because he apologizes and begs them to go back… and they can’t resist his charm. Well, I’ve been there and gone back to an abusive man… it is just what battered women do because they looooove him so much and they want to believe he will change. So knowing all this, please reconsider the advice for women to go to domestic violence shelters because they do NOT protect women from CPS. I’ve heard from many women who were referred to CPS by shelter employees. Please read: Building Bridges Between Domestic Violence Organizations and Child Protective Services. That article was written in 2000. They’ve been working on this angle (for finding new kids to feed into the CPS system) for a long time.

        • says

          You may be right about the womans shelter But I do know if My daughter would have went in the shelter when she was in an abuse relationship it may have looked better for her that she was trying to get away from abuse to protect her children, But it is state run also or county I know where I am from the womans shelter does not like DCF or CPs and have shown in court on behalf of the woman and for her children and the judge was happy that the woman went to get help to protect herself and her children from harm, but you would know better than me on that subject so just delete my comment on that subject I would never want to advise anyone anything to cause them more harm in the system, I have dealt with these people and saw first hand the lies they spoke in court, but to your face they were different people, I wonder if this cycle will ever change of the state taking children even for the dumbest stuff and false reports, we live in an evil world our only hope is to put our whole trust In God because he is the only one who can stop this evil and expose it. And he is the only one who can rescue us from the enemies Hands,And I pray for the children and the family unit for deliverance and restoration and for those who are going through it daily for peace and comfort God hears you.

  10. Rick says

    Ohio CPS sold my boy and girl. CPS took them from my home in 1997 just a few months after my little girl was born. The last time I seen them was Christmas of 1999. The adoptive parents were friends of the case worker involved in the case. Nomatter what I did it was wrong, If I got on the floor and played with them, If I didn’t play with them . If I read to them ,if I didn’t read to them. even the meals I made (which were healthy well balanced meals) was not right in CPS’s eye’s. That OLd Judge(he was OLD) gave them perm custody in 1999! They were adopted by the foster family not long after. That Family own’s a big farm and get’s millions in fedral subs a year. My dad had blood cancer and wanted to see them before he passed. Their adopted mother refused and was rude about it.She is a controling heartless woman,and I think that she saw the kids before they were taken and wanted them because here kids were raised and gone. I have tried to write my kids but the never get the letters that I sent. THe woman claim’s to be christin but really? when my late wife passed it was the same thing , Quote “they are our children and we will decided what’s best for them. Come on lady they are now 19 and 18 years old. just because they are still in high school still should not make a diffrence. BTW the woman Is a school teacher and both kid’s were held back a year? My soon was said to be hyper active and has been given meds since in their care as my girl is also on Phy meds. CPS controls children with drugs!

  11. Rick Hainline says

    Ohio cps stole my son and daughter. My dad died this year, I called the adopted parents to see if he could see them before he passed. Even though my kids are now 19 and 18 years old, the adoptive mother was rude and a B word. She said that It was inappropite of me to call and ask such a thing, They are their children and they are doing what’s in their best interest. CPS is corrupt but so are some of the family’s the place the child or children with. When they took my kid’s back in 97 my daughter was a few months old, CPS said that their judge would find in their favor, The adoptive parents were friend’s with both case workers. I feel like the adopted mother had something to do with the whole mess so she could have more children to control(raise). My question is why rich people never get thier kid’s taken by CPS, even when they get abused.

  12. jacque says

    I lost all six of my babies I need advice I go to go in April to terminate rights is there anything I can do plz help me

    • Sad mom says

      No. Don’t let them terminate. If u sign willingly even though it sounds crazy.. U will get to have a chance later. And if a family member adopts ur children then u can see them whenever they let u. Cps won’t be involved any longer. & when ur kids are 12-13 years old they can go bk to court and ask to live with u. It’s better than forever gone with tpr. Plus u can come bk to court after a year or so of keeping good job & housing & ask for an appeal. Just harass cps after you sign about wanting a social service check every few weeks & drug screens & keep all ur paperwork, keep all ur pay stubs for when the court will let u appeal.but do not let them tpr then it’s really over & u r screwed! My friend lost her daughter at 3 years old she is now 10 & she got her bk like this.

      • Missy says

        sad mom, can you explain exactly what you mean by “don’t let them terminate. If you sign willingly……(sign what willingly?)…..u will get a chance later ( a chance for what??
        Thank you. I need to understand better. TPR coming up soon. Is TPR done in one hearing? Or is it a process?
        Also, I have read numberious times people don’t always keep their promises to let you be part of the child’s life.

        • says

          You sign nothing!!! do not let them talk you into signing anything they will not let you see the kids after, They must be able to prove in court you are unfit as a parent you go to trial and then you appeal it you go to classes you complete whatever it is you go to your visits and be there early never miss any, and at your trial you bring in character witnesses on your behalf and you speak up in court and cry for your children, this is a tactic DCF uses when you are at your lowest point they feed on your emotions and act like they are your friends, They are not your friends and everything they say is a lie if they make promises you tell them put it in writing but never sign over your children no matter what they promise you, you do whatever it takes to complete the case plan and do it a 100% no gaps give them no weapons against you and never sit and talk with them they use everything you say and twist it even phone calls they tape everything,

  13. Ashley says

    As I sit here and ready all the posts i cant help but cry i always asked myself how could cps do this to a family and tear them apart like that my name is ashley and i lost my kids about 3 years ago at the time they were 5 yr and 23 months the day cps came and took my kids from me my whole world crashed i felt like i was dying they took my babies cause i was addicted to meth you would think that after they took them i would get it together but i was to far gone for 5 months straight i continude to let my life go to hell i couldnt deal with the pain all the guilt and shame i had for letting this happen i felt like such a failure those long cold hard 5 months of my life i hide from the world sat in a cornor got really high took my kids pictures and cried for hours everyday i woke up looking forward to my visits thats all my life was at the time i would go suck up my tears for them and hold them and hug them tell them how much i loved them and how sorry i was and for that split second we were ok not a worry in the world till it was time to go it killed me everytime to say good bye and to have to turn around and walk away with them screaming i cant even count the times i got in trouble and yelled at cause i would run to them and hold them how can a mom walk away like that i would always tell the cps people how the hell do they sleep at nigh and think thats in the best intrest of the kids at that point in my life i had nothing i lost the support and love from everyone my mom sister dad grandparents everyone turned there back on me and i new i had to do something or i was gonna die so i went to my case worker and told her this is the hardest thing i will ever have to admit to any one including my self but i need help im addicted to meth soon after that i threw my old life away everything then told my kids bye that i had to go get better and off to rehab i went did my treatment feeling better every day finally get to come home and i was a diffrent person all the way around did everything they asked me to stayed sober and i went to court 3 weeks later the judge was so happy i turned my life around so much in just a year she told me and ill never forget her words she said get ready and prepared your kids are coming home it was the happiest day in my life they came home life was good i was in school to be come a CNA worked at the hospital making good money everything was great i was on top of life again got my family back in my life all there support i was flying high till one day me and my mom got in a fight cause i let my son go to a base ball game with my father my mom wants me to keep my kids from him but its not her choice she yelled at me and told me 5 words that made me freeze and puke she said ill see you in court my heart dropped cause she is not a nice person and i just got done with all the court stuff i had my kids back 7 months before she tripped out the next day i go to get my kids from school and they are not there all i could think about was not again wtf not again i got a call a min later it was the police department saying i need to come up there and talk to them they have my kids and the judge sighned a emergency removal order just cause my mom couldnt have it her way she was not in control we had court the next day for the kids they told me the reports people made on me and come to find out it was my mom and she told cps i was beating my kids leaving marks but when they checked there body there was nothing at that point i lost all control i was doing everything i needed to i was doing so good and for what i lost my kids in the end for no reason they took the the day before my birthday that was real fun nd they been gone 8 months last week i found out that this next week they are filing for termination so i am gonna lose my babies for ever and the worst part is they are with my mom the one that started these false accusations and she is fighting me all the way she dont want me to be apart of there life at all she wants to adopt them and move on i dont understand how they could take my rights like that when iv been doing everything they have said to do i dont understand how someone like cps could be so evil to do the things they do it hurts my heart still to this day it hurts as much as it did when they took them everyday is a struggle but im here i never seen this website before and i think its really cool to be able to talk about it i seen on one of the posts that no one knows what pain we are going threw accept the people that have been or going threw it one of the things that would piss me off to the point where i was shaking and started screaming at cps is when they tell me i understand i know its hard that would really get to me cause if they new how it felt inside i bet they wouldnt take kids away from there whole life there heros im sorry i wrote a book it just felt so good to be able to talk about this a lil bit and people actually understand what im going threw thanks so much god bless you all

    • cara casimer pistoll says

      My heart and soul cried when reading – for i too was betrayed by my father – complaint over a cavity …And since my son was only 3and half years, the dental procedure involved having my child anesthetized….which is VERY dangerous and could be fatal so refuse rationalized that i wanted to wait 6 months or so then old enough to be done without be put under, treating like a normal dental procedure. Needless to say i had my child taken , and placed with my half sister
      ( whom of which has been paid off totally and thrives from my fathers wealth) .
      Whenever the judge/court would and had granted my son home with me, my sister would call social service case worker and have “emergency removal” etc.
      Two years of total compliance, the medical neglect was never probed and dropped, even so i was ripped apart by lies … and totally abused by the legal kangaroo court , all of which was compounded by my naive innocence.
      The TPR hearing date was sent by certified letter 3 months prior. Well, i hired a new lawyer a week before hearing and left a bad lawyer only to hire the WORST . The day before the TPR we attempted a petition which should have deterred the TPR hearing, but the judge denied. My lawyer then told me to go home and rest for the TPR hearing dated for the following day…. When i got home i received a phone call from social services…stating my parental rights had been terminated – the court held my hearing the day before the actual date and by not being present ( and my lawyer waiving my right stating i was not opposing the adoption of my child.!!!!!) my rights automatically terminated because not at court hearing to contest as planned.
      I filed for an appeal which was sabotaged again by an appellate lawyer – horrific and like yourself abandoned and betrayed by my family. My son has been adopted by my sister and she has cut all ties, with the exception of running into her while driving – my window rolled down with her next car over – honks for my attention and yells “V(my sons name) calls me mommy now “…followed by an evil laughter… It has been almost two years my son will turning 8 this weekend… my/her family including my parent(s) and other sibling are all together vacationing in Hawaii together, leaving me alone and alienated, bitter sweet ( happy that my son will be celebrating hawaiin style) . Two years and honestly this may sound dramatic, but i almost died from heartbreak…now i struggle with my “will( not wanting )to live”…
      Your story compares to mine tormented by court is bad enough, but the betrayal by your mother is despicable and devastating.
      Know that I know your pain – your loneliness – sorrow and despair … child(ren) taken from their mother/father as equivalent to the death sentence – even worse it defies human nature, the worst ruthless form of torture .
      Take care for what could and will happen ….our truths will set us free again.

  14. Erika says

    Has anyone here been pushed/coerced to sign their rights away, told either theyll be stripped (worker said time was up, it had to be done) or you sign. If you sign, youll always see your child…The prospective adoptive parent guarantee this. My fiance went through a similar thing. He didn’t have a home at the time and knew he couldnt provide forr her but still wanted to be involved, so he did what he thought was right for his daughter so she would be taken care of and still have her father. Well that didn’t work out, she is still in the system. We were told case plans have been reopened due to being pushed/coerced. He can fully provide for her in everyway. We’re seeking legal advice, but I wanted to see if anyone here has any advice or has been through this or knows anyone who has. My heart breaks for her </3

  15. Charlie says

    I have started work on a support group structure for TPR parents. I hope someday to have our own website, where one of the features will be a lost and found of sorts where bio parents can post updated information and children of TPR can search for connections back when they turn 18. Funding is a little tight but someday. Right now I maintain a private group of facebook for bio parents, and a public group to facilitate those who want to help pray for those going through the process. I am a TPR parent myself so I know the pain.

  16. rebecca says

    Hi I’m grandparent and I have two daughters and I had cps. cases and a lot has happen to us thy were 9 and 8at the time thy turn our life upside I fought hard for several yrs well thy took my kids once and gave to my sister I got thm back thy get one who is weak and start using thm against you too much life was never same my oldest and me were close not no more and we dnt trust nobody well now thy are 24 and 25 thy had kids my oldest first babypast away at mnths because he was premature his brain forgot to breath well she had another one she prematutre w chroniclung diease she was healthy other that then she had another one healthy cps got in her life and it start all over again thy broke into her apt thy cornor my daughter while she was in the office she had daughter w her told she had to give her kids thy force her to get her son he was about 4 mnths old from the father she didn’t hve a choice I dnt knw where my grandbabies are someone where lost in the system wouldn’t let m have them because my mom religion still tryin to understand why there were alots of lies goin on and my other daughter had a son and daughter and she was pregant w twins cps.showed her door tks her to get her kids and come w her my daughter call because I’ve been through it thy were mad I tlf her she didn’t hve to go anywhere with thm thy were strangers for fightin thm
    they retaliate she had to go the hospitalher doctor put her there said something wrong w the twins cps. showed up there told her to give up her kids or thy were goin to send to jail thy hand cuff her to the bed thy unplug the phne so she couldn’t call us she very strong will and she refuse to give in so whn she was release she went to jail sleeped on the floor while she pregant w the twins I got lawyer he was no good he forgot to tell us he was on probation for not followin through with clients he started demandin more money my daughter paid him 1500 and her grandfather and up payin more but her lawyer told her to give up her children two weeks and she would get thm but that never happen we keep goin to her little meetin and court it was always something thy never proved nthin we found out they hve a rubber stamp to mark legal judges names made up paper work she got to she her kids once a week for a couples between her four whn cps. get mad she couldnt see thm anymore and again we cldnt hve thm either it was a nightmare it went on four years she got pregrant again same father the lawyer she had told her to relinquish her rights to the father sisters so thy both have two of thm each that was the best she cld do so thy closed the case so my daughter got to keep her son he very health and very happy baby and he strivin he doin stuff in advanced he is ten mnths old nw he already started to walk stand up in middle couch or floor not holdin eat a lot things he loves food love bein w him but sometimes it hard because we can’t see our others he my sunshine I love all my grand babies I pray for everybody who’s been fasely accused and it’s nt true please dnt sign nothin and dnt give no extra information thy will turn yr words arnd and use against you we called the police thy did kiddnap the kids thy said we cldnt make reports we were told we cldnt sue cps.Cps.told my daughter not to believe what was on the internet because it wasn’t true thy never said my daughter was unfit they were mad because we fought back it we ar still standin but thy have got stronger thy think thy ar above the law we have to right to raise our kids my daughters are not perfect but I’m proud thm thy were good moms we ar all tryin to go forward to all research stand firm thy hve a lot techniques thy use to threathin you but you dnt hve to let thm in unless thy hve alegal warrant beware thy make fake ones and thy hve lawyers and judges in there pockets if thy talk to yr kids or show dirty pics. or strip yr kids down to see if thy any marks behind yr bac teach yr kids nt to talk to thm tell thm to call yr parents because thy ar still minors put in the school files because thy will showed up there and starts thy change kids words cps. caseworker will put whatever on their paperwork dnt b scared that’s what thy want sometimes it takes all yr money because thy attack people with hardly any money so you can’t get lawyers or you dnt knw yr rights or you have pretty mixed babies thy can sell and make their bonus thy ar just agency I have so much to say t it use b a good organization thy turn into something ugly I dnt know how thy sleep thy tell you can’t spank yr kids thy can spank their god bless u all who lost their babies I tld thm god was goin to strike thm down at court house thy wldnt get on elevator w us that’s who judge us thy ar just worry abt the money the more kids thy put in foster homes more money thy make I’m bitter I tried to forgive and forget because I dnt want to b victium or thy won gods said to forgive no matter so whn judgement comes thy answer to it hang in there love one another god bless

    • says

      Rebecca, thank you for posting. You and your children have been through so much . . . what a tragedy that they’ve targeted you that way. I hope you all find a safe place to live, and that your other grandchildren are being well taken care of too.

  17. Valarie Russo says

    I am very very very broken hearted today. Its my sons 4 birthday. I haven’t seen him in two years. Happy Birthday Baby. Love always and always mama

    • says

      Jennifer – no, there are no rights for siblings to see each other after TPR. That would depend on the willingness of the adoptive families involved. Many would be pleased to help their adopted children see their other siblings.

    • barbara alvarez says

      I know how you feel my right was terinamate to two of my young children I feel the case worker lie on my case

  18. jackie says

    I’m lost don’t know what to do I have been fighting cps for 15mos.I have lupus and I have been prescribed premethezine Dmitry norco also some type of steroids she keeps (sw) keeps saying I’m give her us a with alcohol I’m not a drinker and I don’t know what to do or how to fight these people. Can anyone help

    • barbara alvarez says

      I been fright CP’s for three years the only one I get to talk to isvmy older son I have a daughter that is 8 years old a son that’s 16 years old and a son that 13 years old and i miss them

  19. Olivia says

    I first lost my rights to my daughter.
    While the trial was going through, I knew in my heart that although I did not want this to happen, that I was not ready at that time to parent my daughter. I got pregnant shortly after the decision , and had my son. I was two years clean when I had my son, and I was taking methadone throughout my pregnancy to maintain my sobriety. I wanted to get off the methadone too, but my obgyn advised against that since detoxing can cause premature labor or miscarriage. Fast forward a bit, I voluntarily put myself into a women and children’s residential rehab facility for almost a year. I had my son WHILE in the program. Random weekly urine screens both at my clinic and at the residential program my entire pregnancy.
    Now get this. I give birth to my amazing soon, and he’s born a healthy weight but gas significant methadone withdrawal. Of course if I decided to detox while pregnant they would have called dcf anyway. They tested his meconium after he was born and two weeks later, they told me that alcohol showed up. 4700 out of the 500 cutoff level, which is unusually high.
    Right then and there I knew something was wrong because of what I knew was obvious: I didn’t drink when I was pregnant. I told my programs to breathalyzer test me twice each day, and they did for seven months straight, and not one of those were positive!! If I had such an extreme amount of alcohol in my son’s system because I drank and I didn’t care about him getting taken away, then why would I voluntarily ask for breathalyzers, and why would I suddenly stop drinking?? Its a set up that’s what. The only commonly used substance that doesn’t show up in a regular trying screen is alcohol. How easy would it be for someone to either purposely or accidentally taint the meconium with alcohol? Hand sanitizer has 99% alcohol, and it only takes one drop.
    So Dcf ends up cutting me off from seeing my son at the hospital, because the nurses kept saying I was shutting my eyes while holding my son, and that I had a cold and gave it to my son.
    They end up going through with a OTC, put into a foster home, and then giving temporary custody a few months after to his paternal aunt. Reunification was a complete joke. I stayed clean, continued the breathalyzers, competed a relapse prevention program and parenting class.
    Twelve months later, yes twelve short moths later they are going for tpr again.
    I’m devastated.
    I got a public defender again, but a new one. I wasn’t too hopeful but I wasn’t going to let dcf walk all over my life and take everything from me again. I went to this trial. I almost had my two bedroom apartment. The trial came and I was nervous but my public defender turned out to be this amazing woman whom tore apart all the witnesses dcf called to the stand. She stressed that the mental health “professionals” that dcf bright to the stand were under qualified to diagnose any mental illness and admitted that they NEVER actually told me what their diagnoses were. Lmao! So how am I supposed to seek help for a illness that I’ve never been told that I have to begin with?
    On top of that my dcf worker told me right before the trial that it was too late to get an apartment, that I should just give up my rights. He looked like an idiot to the judge because he denied saying that yet admitted it by twisting words ands rewording what I testified. Then I had one of the dcf workers that did my visits questioned shit how I was with my son. She was very nice and said that I was always nurturing and brought educational toys for my son and supplied everything he needed.

    Long story short, I got my happy ending. I WON MY TPR TRIAL!!! Even after losing my daughter. After everyone said I’d never get him back. And now I’m still clean, I have my two bedroom apartment and a full-time job. It’s funny how life works. I had set up Carter’s room before I heard the decision. It’s like I knew this would all work out!! :-)

  20. Tyrone Marshall says


    I just lost a TPR case involving my son Tyrone A. Marshall, Jr. In completed all of the requirements of being reunified with my son and I never received any justice. I appealed the Judge’s decision I’m a fighter for what is right. The corrupt system in their dislodging of family members and stripping parents of their parental rights has to stop immediately.

    • Valarie Russo says

      O dear. So sad. If you ever need a friend I’m here for you and also if we can change legislation what would we do? Terminate these jerks!!!!!!!

  21. Ivy says

    I started out with seven due for my 8th my oldest son while I was working was harmed outside of our home come to find out by a friend of 15 in a half years who is now a sex offender and she was even paroled in my home before. She never watched my kids unsupervised yet she was their god mom. He went to do his laundry and he was fourteen and has been doing his laundry a few blocks away since he has been 11 and I even felt a little better aware she would be at the laundry mat as well doing a few loads of her laundry too. What happens is that her and her life partner get my son drunk and takes him to complete strangers and leave him to have two grown men do god knows what. I was not even aware of the night it happened yet a few days later I call it mothers intuitive side and something feeling off and I questioned my kids about secrets and my two god children who were around a lot and finally one of my god children tell me everything after I said I knew but I didn’t have a clue and then immediately I persue to press charges have my son at the police station doctors office and set up appointments for mental health so he can have counceling in place as well as support and groups. C.P.S in Elmira Ny by people calling I have a history of their wrong but right if it was them and our wrong is the worse and they take action and take my kids away. Now it happened to one and they take all away it has been almost 2 years I jumped there hoops and a few moths after having my eighth my baby passes away rumors fly along with allogations and they laid it heavy before autopsy and determination of my baby boys passing. Then they tried to go on a mental health trial against me but the day of court made a deal like a do over yet I had to surrender 5 of my children so far. Anyone in my situation who has family turned on me and even my ex man and baby dad because of this whole ordeal. He feels he has a better chance fighting alone and now they railroading him as well making him do things over that is completed because they don’t accept the results because it’s not in their favor. The same for me but worse because of this ordeal I ended up in BSU which they used against me and I was going on a show but they tried to use that against me. I only have three more kids left to fight for and oh I just recently had a child and they took on the discharge date at the hospital calling it a dirivited neglect. I can’t seem to e on my feet or keep employment and continue to jump their hoops and the stress alone is unreal and the court ordered attorney I have works with them and since I cant afford an attorney and don’t have family I feel I’m getting rail roaded and my family. The worst part is while my son the victim was in their care he has been raped twice and almost a year they did not know his where abouts due to AWOL. The C.P.S. states it was his fault. If shoes were on the other feet as the parent they would make your the worse parent in the world. Welcome to my world I can’t persue my career because its working with kids and while the state has mine I can’t do what I paid so much for college for. When I do work most of my money goes to child support so how as a parent am I suppose to be stable and have an income if they take majority away from me. I just need some help and if anyone can help me anyway get this to a pro bono attorney to look unto my case. I would like to sue for then basically lieing using my past and robbing me of my rights of my kids and pretty much bullying me to sign a surrender or they would terminate my rights. Termination of my rights kills my career absolutely so if anyone can help feel free to contact me by email ivylicious31[at] Now I’m back at scare one with three kids left and about nine months to go so the clock is ticking and I refuse to lose anymore of my kids.

  22. Babynick24 says

    TPR was filed Oct.17th, my next court date for that is Feb.10th, 2015. I am really nervous because the case worker is wanting to give my kids to the foster parents. She has made up lies and is trying to prove that I am unfit. This case has been ongoing since May 29th 2013. I have changed and have gotten the help that I needed. I have passed every drug screen and go to my therapist once a week. I am taking parenting classes and will do anything to get my family back. In 2013 of Nov. the father of my oldest daughter took my daughter away from me, he wasn’t in her life for 9 years of her life. Now my 2 other children are split up from her. So much for keeping the kids together. I hope in the long run all three kids will be back with me. I am not giving up or standing down, I now think clear and am able to make better decisions because I am not strung out on medication that will alter my actions, the case worker had it ordered that I would be on medication to help my mood and to help with my depression. I realize now that my life is a lot better without the medication. I pray everyday that I will get my children back, and the parents that do change and show that they want their kids back will get that second chance.

    • says

      Babynick, if the medication is court ordered and you’re not taking it – that can be used against you in court. I hope you’re learning from this website how to defend yourself in court with documentary evidence and legal paperwork telling your side of the story. Also if you could get any professionals to testify on your behalf in a trial, it could help. Work with your attorney to prepare a good defense.

    • Valarie Russo says

      Yes I agree with Ms.Linda you’ll have to get a professional to agree with your choice. And I’m curios why u disclosed you weren’t taking the medicine in the first place?

    • Dawn Pickard says

      My suggestion is go into court wear a long dress put your hair up no makeup, cry in court for your kids and I mean really cry, have character witnesses, go to church talk to the pastor for counseling bring him in as a witness, and if the judge does TPR you appeal it and you tell your public defender if they do TPR you appeal the decision if he dose not
      you go to legal aide you fight for your rights you do whatever it takes take classes on your own if you have to just because they take your rights dose not mean its over you can still appeal and when you appeal it goes before a different judge, DCF wins because no one is willing to stand up to them and fight, you can also ask that there be an internal investigation of your case because you suspect fraud and you contact the main head quarters and file a complaint, DCF hates me because of the waves I made in there office, they are corrupt I witnessed it face to face I had them in my home after my daughter and threw them out, and Im not afraid to press charges or file complaints on them Florida is the worst state for them Governor Scott has given them more power and now even judges fear them. I make it my lifes work to expose them.

        • Dawn says

          I am not sure what your state says on time limit for appeals, some are 60 some are 90,you can file the papers for appeal you get them from the court house clerk of courts,its not a good idea to go to appeals court without an attorney and appeals are expensive 3 to 10 thousand dollars who ever your attorney was in court you should have informed him you want to appeal the TPR, its not an easy road to go none of this, do you have a legal aide dept in your county you can try there to see if they would take your case,or find one pro Bono, My daughter made the mistake of signing her 3 boys over DCF promised she could keep her new born baby but as soon as the child was born dcf was at the hospital and took her at birth and she never got her back no matter what plan they laid out it was more and more impossible for her to complete , she could not even hold a job because of all the classes and things she had to do they even called her job and exposed who they were to her boss and her landlord who evicted her she had no hope of winning because they made it so difficult for her to prove she could provide a home and had a job etc… Our entire family moved out of the county because of this even the judge was corrupt discriminating our entire family, we had no criminal records, background checks all done and still she found fault its an evil system that is becoming more and more powerful of Government control,Our only hope is in God and staying out of trouble and not get caught up in this system because it never ends and they hound you for life with new children, Im sorry for everyone here who has went through this mess it is heart braking, Cody you stay strong and never give up hope , find out in your state the laws on family court appeals and how to,s stay on this sight we all need each other as strength, when the papers were done in court did you get a copy and was it an open adoption or have they been adopted out? I have seen God do amazing things concerning my Grandkids that were taken I was sure we would never see or hear from them again when suddenly after praying daily for 2 years the family who adopted them reached out and now I see them on videos and pictures birthdays and soon maybe a visit so anything is possible with God he can soften hearts and open doors that you thought were closed just believe he is able to make things right and bring restoration and do amazing things keep praying and dont give up God is hearing your prayers and holding your tears in his hands. This kind of pain we have brings us to anger and rage I ve been there and still at times it rises up in me, its a selfishness in the foster parents and adopted parents to keep us out and I know it plays heavy on there hearts to someday they will have to explain to the child why did you keep me from seeing my real parents and family then anger, hostility comes out its a circle that causes harm, kids dont know who they are there roots there genetics someday this will end just dont give up and stay strong good things will come your way your only hope to get through this is faith .

  23. Jennifer says

    I lost at my appeal court after TPR. They would not let me explain to them that CPS enrolled me into the wrong native American tribe because it was not in court documents already. Also the judge that did the termination of my rights based on the fact at that time I had no home which was false, I had a home for them if they were to return home.
    Second I would like to know who to go to report abuse from foster care home. The last time I saw my daughter she stated that the man in she home was hitting her. They have since moved her out of that home, but the damage has been done.
    I miss both her and her brother deeply and it still hurts. I don’t know if I will ever get over the pain I feel everyday. It still feels like it was yesterday when the judge told me I could no longer be a mother to them. I still cry every night and look at the only pictures I have of them. Will this heartache every ease?
    I have since then moved and had another child out of the state that took the other two. I am doing everything I can to protect this one from Washington state. I moved across the US, I hope that I am far enough away from them. I still look over my shoulder everywhere I go and pray that I can be a good mother to this baby.

    • Valarie Russo says

      They will never press charges against their previous foster parents. Or they’d have to admit they’re wrong. They’re always wrong!!!! Keep safe and look into wats called a petition of review. Its the next and last court procedure for an appeal. Got your back. Xo miss my son sooo much. The pain is and always will be there. I’m glad for this website at least.

    • PandaMomma says

      I am a TPR of 4 children, first 2 in 2009, third in 2010 and forth In 2011. The first 3 I sign over my rights. But “supposedly” was open adoption. Last they were terminated because I refused to sign another open adoption and have it ignored.
      Now me and my husband are wanting to have a baby and we are scared. We are in the same area as before. Kidnap county Washington. We want to move away, far far away.

    • Selena says

      So can you help me understand you said your rights we’re terminated with two kids and you we’re able tokeep the new one? Please help I really need to know my rights we’re terminated in Florida I currently live in Pennsylvania and am pregnant all I want is to be a mother

    • Selena says

      Jennifer please help me understand how you kept the new baby did you have medicaid? Did you deliver in a hospital?

  24. michelle says

    I just singed paper work with cps and they are accusing of medical abuse but I don’t understand … my daughter has non epileptic seizers caused by stress was told to get her into counseling I did that cps told me it was the wrong type so I found the right one before the opened a case and they are also telling me that I am to close to my daughter ???? don’t know what that means at all i singed the paper work because i was afraid i need help

    • says

      Michelle, you’re on the wrong page… you’re nowhere near to TPR at this point. Did you sign a safety plan? You can ask about this on our message board where you’re likely to get some good feedback. … please join us there. If you’ve already registered, hang on a few minutes – I’ll be over there to approve registrations soon.

  25. Leslie says

    Linda, it’s been almost 4 years since my children were taken and I’m still feeling so overwhelmed. I have had another child since then and I still seem to be making the same mistakes with her as I did the first ones. someone please help me and tell me what’s going on. I’m so depressed, but I know I can’t show it because of her. I have a church that I go to and a personal relationship with God already, but these things are not helping either. I have no one to talk to who really understands me

  26. krystal says

    I am a mother going thru tpr if anyone can give me some tips on how to fight this my cps worker never calls me and she tells other people about my case if anyone has tips I would be glad to hear them I have called her supervisor and went all the way to the director of dcs if u have any suggestions my e mail is krystalluostari12[at]

  27. Peggy says

    My name is Peggy and i have been trying to get my kids back for two years and every time i am going to get my kids back CPS comes up with some thing i have been told not to have any one in my car home i do not do drugs i have had my job for 7 years and have done every thing CPS has asked me to there saying the man i was with had a bad back ground and he could not be around my kids he has not but there saying he has and this is my on 9-3-14 there going to take my kids from me for good my kids are my life i do not want to live with out my babys how my kids got taking from me was i was at work and the man i was living with hit 2 of my kids in the face with a belt he did not get any time for this but i am by them taking my kids from me there dad is doing drugs and dont have a job or a home he stabed me and beat me when i was with him but the CPS has gave my kids to him one time i had to call CPS on him for not taking care of my kids and now there saying there going to take my right from me and give my babys to there dad one of the foster moms told the two of my kids that she has that i am not there mom and not to do any thing i tell them i have never hit my kids and i love my kids so much and i need help so bad some one plezz help me i cant let them take my kids my kids want to come home to me but CPS dont care

  28. tre says

    My newborn wAs kidnapped in 2012 my other four as well my reunification wAs terminatef july 16 2014 the courts are railroading me now a hearing to terminate my rights has been set my attorney is a divorce adoptions attorney refusjng to file any appeals challenge any ruling now they want to adopt out my two year old delegating her from her 7 year old sister their all they have no attorneys will help me I keep praying to god but feel he’s forsaken me I have made mistakes but I don’t deserve to loose my KIDS forever any suggestions is it impossible to win please I’m hopeless and discouraged

    • says

      Tre, I’m so sorry this is happening to you. Please don’t give up. It may be futile but this is your only chance. Try all avenues including an appeal. Prepare a statement for your TPR hearing (give it to your attorney to give to the court). . . and if they do keep your children, make a website for them, to show them how much you’ll always love them. No matter what, don’t turn to drugs and alcohol to mask the pain… they only would mess up your life. Those are Satan’s tools to make people ineffective. Do everything you can to improve on your life. Maybe God has something else in mind for you. Maybe through this time of testing and trauma, He is preparing you to help others in some way. You know, I would never have been inspired or motivated to start this site if CPS hadn’t happened to me. Keep praying through the pain and trusting God to guide you to what He wants you to do.

  29. Tammie says

    I have been through 3 TPRS and I am still hurting and do to my priers DHS said they had to open a new case on me and my new baby witch she is two month old now and I am looking for help to get DHS out of our family’s life right here right now I am tired of their BS

  30. Kimipele Kimo says

    I would like their to be advocacy for on going contact and visitation for parents who have lost their parental rights. I know in many cases parental rights are unfairly terminated. There needs to be a law that so long as these parents do not pose a threat to their children that contact and visitation should remain in the best interest of the child. I feel that this would be less traumatic to both child and parent. I am one of the lucky ones if for some reason I do not win my 388 hearing, the prospective adoptive mom has already agreed to ongoing contact and visitation with my children. Jesus please help divided families find a way to stay connected to their children.

    • Valarie Russo says

      Because I live in Colorado I was unable to get a post adoption agreement. It was supposed to be an open adoption BT the adoptive parents lied and even though I made many patient attempts to see my son they have kept him from me. Jerks. I agree we need to have the post adoption in forced for those of us who never ever give up on seeing are baby’s. He is no longer a baby as he is 4 now and I haven’t been able to see him in 2 years!

  31. Kimipele Kimo says

    I am currently going through my 388 hearing requesting for return of my children or for reunification services to be offered, I am contesting the TPR selection and implementation hearing and asking for a modification of the court order to TPR. My heart and prayers go out to all families who have been victimized by CPS and corrupt family courts. My heart and prayers go out to all the children who have been separated from their biological families. Jesus I pray you will bless heal and protect our children. Jesus I pray you will reunite these families one day. Jesus I pray that you will bring healing and justice to these families. No matter what happens with my case. I know that I must continue to advocate for justice. Please do not give up families who have been divided. God knows your struggle and Jesus knows your heart and the truth.

    • says

      James, I’m sorry to say that once there’s been a TPR you are no longer considered the grandparent. Unless the social workers in charge of placement have a whim to decide to place the children with you, you’re pretty much excluded. There are not very many grandparent rights these days. I do wish someone would sue the system on that point… or lobby legislators. Those are the two ways to change the law: (1) court decisions; and (2) new legislation.

      As always I suggest you check with a local lawyer for the most accurate information on how this is handled in your state.

  32. james says

    my grandkids got out of the house a few times never got hurt,my daughter just left the kids father because of abuse..being a single parant she didnt have anyone to take care of her kids when she got off work,as she slept they wandered off.cps comes along takes them …she got them back and they got out again…she was told to plead guilty to neglect by her lawry and she did..she completed all her case plan and still this case worker had her right termanated as the judge and state of nevad is corupt and side with cps…i could see if my daughter had done something more than the kids get out…im trying to find out how to appeal this ..can anyone help…

    • says

      James, I believe the request for an appeal has to be filed by the court appointed attorney within thirty days of the TPR hearing. Has it been longer than that? Check with a local juvenile court attorney to ask about the time limit in your state.

  33. Cicely says

    I am a parent who has been going through this for almost 2 years. I have 3 daughters ages 17, 7, and 4 when they were taken away, who are now 18, 8, and 5. I am so beyond angry!! I stipulated out because after learning about Kentucky state law, I would have lost my trial and been in the same position I’m in now. I hired an attorney who is very good at being my voice in court. But I was still been mistreated. My rights as the parent have been violated so badly. I have supervised weekend visits with my children, yet the SW said he didn’t like the dynamic between my mother and I (she’s the supervisor), that he wouldn’t let the visits happen. They have taken away my phone contact because I was direct and short with the FM, who went on vacation, shipped my kids to another foster home without telling me, and didn’t answer the phone while she was gone. And had the nerve to have an attitude when I questioned her about the situation. I am court ordered these visits and phone calls, so instead of bitching about it I’m collecting evidence, and I’m going to file a grievance, and then after that I’m going to sue. This site has helped give me the tools I need to do so. I have been labled combative because I will not let them bully me!! I have done everything that CPS has asked of me. Yet they still filed an TPR on me. My court date is set for August 28, 2014. My goal is to be done with all the recommendations from the parent assessment by the court date so that they won’t terminate. But from everything that I’ve been reading, they still can even if I do complete everything. AND THAT 1 THING SCARES THE HELL OUT IF ME!! I’m looking for anyone to offer me advise on how to push forward. I’m working hard doing things the right and legal way, but do I have a chance at getting my kids back? I’m going to fight fir their return until the end. I never give up…EVER!!

    • says

      Cicely, for the TPR hearing collect documentary evidence and write your own legal documents, such as a declaration of facts and/or objections and corrections to the report of the social worker. You will have to get your side of the story onto the court record. Get an expert witness to testify for you if at all possible… at least one. And if you lose, you must file your request for an appeal immediately… I think most states give about thirty days but it could be less in some states. I hope your lawyer will help with that.

      Without knowing anything about you or your case I don’t know if there’s much hope for winning the TPR hearing but I do know that a lot of people do win, so don’t give up hope. Just get ready, and be prepared.

  34. Erika says

    I’ve been fighting CPS for almost 3 years. I have 6 children. 3 were returned home to me but the 2 separate foster parents want to adopt my 3 youngest. Just 2 weeks ago the GAL came to my home while I was at work and took my 9 year old and told her and my 11 year old that they would return my 9 year old by the end of summer. I think it was planned because I have a hearing on August 5th for the termination of my parental rights and they know that removing my daughter from my home would badly hurt my case. Now the foster parents who have 2 of my kids want her too. They are making up lies and I will no longer stand for it. I have started taking steps liking writing to the president, filing complaint with the ombudsmen, contacting private attorney, talking to co-workers about signing petitions and putting together a march. Tomorrow I will be calling the media, the governor’s office, congressman, attorney about suing the state and I will also retry the department of defense. I am looking for parents ready to fight these people in every state. The Lord will provide what we need and through His grace we will succeed for if The Lord is with us then who can be against us? No one!

    • says

      Erika, I would love to get something new started to mobilize the nation in the name of Jesus to pray for the release of these children being held in bondage by the child protection system. I know that if enough of us were praying fervently, desperately, things would change. The bondage and imprisonment of children and the persecution of parents are an indication of the sinfulness of this nation and how far we’ve fallen away from God. I too was fallen away until last year when I was saved. I now see what’s really happening and want to encourage everyone to pray, pray, pray for change in the child welfare system. I keep telling people to read the book of Judges in the Old Testament… the story is plain and clear, we need a Bigger Helper and only God is able to change this. I have fought to expose the system and help parents for more than twenty years. Nothing helps, nothing changes. I can’t do it alone; and even a huge group of people together can’t do it. Really, only God is that powerful and we need His help. You are right when you say, “…if The Lord is with us then who can be against us? No one!” … any suggestions on how to reach more people with this message?

    • T'Anna says

      hi my name is tanna . do you or anyone live in San Antonio Texas , i need a lot of protester’s to fight against, child protective services . i have been trying to get all parent together to stand up for what is right for the best interest of our children . please would anybody be willing to protest against child protective services , if so would ya’ll contact my mother phone at 2109021010

  35. monalisa says

    how do we get copies of all court documents/orders/decisions…both of our court appointed atty quit after telling us we had no hope in winning our petition and did nothing to help us

  36. ZERUIAH Scott says

    I’m a TPR PARENT I lost my rights 7.5 years ago in Georgia and I’m changed forever .once you lose your rights you are never the same every birthday, holiday .its a nightmare that you live and don’t wakeup from
    and the only 1 that can fix it is Jesus if its in his will .if not not you got to suck it up and live with it ….that you dont have your kids and feel so lost without them .that even when you try to move forward and leave at the feet of Jesus , its a pain that is always there …All I can say is Lord help us

    • Valarie Russo says

      I am working on an appeal for adoption as well. Please call me I maybe able to help. Don’t email please. Call 3038868474. Lots of love Valarie

  37. Appeal all court decisions!! says

    I just want to remind people to appeal all court decisions, especially TPR. The time to appeal for TPR is extremely short sometimes approx 15 days…so do it right away after the decision. I know of several parents who appealed immediately and had the decision overturned and their kids returned. Don’t wait or it will be too late.

    • monalisa says

      how do we appeal the petition we lost? state is nevada….need major help understanding these backward civil laws

      • says

        Monalisa, about the appeal, can you get an attorney to help you? Has it been less than a month since this TPR? You will have to spend time in your county’s law library learning to do this if you expect to do it on your own, and there are time limits. Here’s some help on the internet: How to Appeal.

  38. says

    My son Hans Niklas unlawful lvu via förvaltningsrätten i stockholm by the swedish government workers.
    Over 500 000 kr cash just to win a social welfare problems of sweden is not a small money for me. All because of peace. Peace. this is what me and my family need in sweden. and i can get this peace or else. with other wise if the court and the government employees do not let this peace function in my life and my family life in sweden. Peace is what me and my family need to be better according of the family court illegal discrimination and selfishness towards me. says that i argue with the social workers and complains in the presence of my son of the social service mistreatment towards my son. Yes i complain and i do not mean to complains in the presence of my son. But The workers always make it complicated by plans and manipulation. The swedish court should Please save me and my son from the social workers. My family are better without the social services and the social workers jobs. My son and i have no jobs for the social any more. We are tired. The family court and the Social welfare illegal human harassment are against my family will. The court unlawful lvu harassment with my son is against my family will. The court illegal humiliation is against my family will. The court illegal discrimination is against my family will. The court illegal intimidation is against my family will. My family and i are not slaves in sweden. I want the government workers to get it right now and forever. I am surprised that The court is Harassing me and my son with a social welfare care plans and more problems. A social workers care plan in order to trouble me and my son over and over again. i have a lot to do with my life. My jobs. My son. Everything i have to work with in my musical company and my musical business carer that i have just again begin in the first of August 2013 after 4 years of setback in sweden. I have to move on with my family. It is my family right. I want the government workers to Stop setting me backward. Is this what make sweden better by setting people backward. Why setting me backward. What a horrify attitude is this in sweden from some of the government workers. Why not give me and my family the peace we need in sweden. I want the court to Hear me out. I have no job for social workers any more. Not now and never. It is finished. Now and forever. I want förvaltningsrätten to Get it right and Please Look else where in sweden or worldwide and leave my family in peace. If i need help or assistance in my family lives. I have a better contacts than a social welfare contacts. They should Stop harassing my family with social welfare problems. My family are sick of it. They should let my family be. We need peace. The social should Please let us be. my family have a right to live well in sweden as we can. The social should Please let my family be now and forever. They should Let my family be and Trouble us no more. Thank you.?

  39. Rhinestone says

    they said I am mentally ill – I launched a Federal Lawsuit against the state Pro Se – right now I can hardly think and I have no support – no one to hug me and no one who cares that I have lost 4 children these people in Georgia have tried to incarcerate me over and over again, humiliated me, I have suffered defamation of character, my children have been abused while in the custody of Georgia State… How do we connect other than just on a post?

  40. Rhinestone says

    My parental rights were terminated June 13,2014 in Georgia State. My children were in the custody of Georgia for 4.5 years; they said I never completed a case plan…

  41. rifca says

    I agree with the pain everyone has. I’ve been there with 6 of my great grandchildren being taken away. At first I thought it was not happening but as the CPS worker turned the corner and the policeman couldn’t hear, I ask her why she was doing this since they were in my custody because their mother was going through cancer treatment for a few months. She turned to me and said, “you know why”. I ask again and she turned to me and she said verbatim” you know why. These children are well behaved, white and adoptable” and off she went.
    It has been 1 1/2 years and the pain gets worse. I have a degree in mental health but it didn’t prepare me for all the false things said in court. I was not allowed to speak so how could the judge know anything except what the case workers were saying. Why does it happen? Well mostly because our country has so much debt and no way out so they improvise and the only way out is lies. There are no controlling measures for DCS. They make sure the children hear false things also. These children were told they were put in a dumpster and they (DCS) had to go get them out. I live in a small rural town and there are no dumpsters. lie number 1. We wrote the gov. of Ky and then all hell broke loose. DCS got worse. Instead of trying to reunite the family they took everything away because they received $8500 for each child taken to adoption and another $25000 if the child was disabled. They tried to get all of these children on disability but it didn’t work. Now they put 3 of them on Ritalin. If you know meds. , you know that if they do not need this drug it has reverse symptoms and makes the child hyper. That is what happened and as soon as they get adopted they will be taken off the Ritalin. The Medicare Dr. made a false report solely what the case workers said was happening and misdiagnosed the children with HDD. Anyone needing to talk I will explain all if I can. No attorney would handle the case so we lost in court. The one atty. we had was threatened by them to take his children so he backed down. Now the children are without their families and to no fault of ours and without recourse.
    When is it going to stop? When is America going to wake up and see what the gov. is really like? There is an election coming up and we need to make sure there are laws in place to protect our children from all the legal abuse and legal kidnapping that is going on. The thing I’ve noticed is the children taken from the druggies are returned after they go through rehab, but what do you do if you are not one of these kinds of people?
    I hope the attorneys out there that took oaths as I did in the medical field can have a clear conscience of their not trying to help. There are a lot of us who would go to court ourselves but without knowledge of what to do or where to go there is nothing else we can do except read here and listen to others pains as well and see the abuse with nowhere to go. Being a motivational speaker only helps if there is someone listening that can do something. When are the judges going to ask someone else beside the DCS people what happened or what is being done to correct the situation.
    We as Americans are having the very thing we fought to protect taken away from us “our liberties and constitutional right”. As we sit in our chairs with our tears and no one to listen except the ones who say “well you should not have been in that position or it was your fault anyway” we can do nothing more or can we? We as Americans are proud of this country and this country’s values and morals are what keep us to be proud Americans but, and I say a big but, it is gone. The bureaucrats running this country are only after fame and money and when will we as a people be able to take back our liberties and get our pride back. If the USAF taught me one thing it was the pride of this country but others have lost it now. I hope the children who have been wronged by all this remember what the precious words really mean and what our constitution really meant. Maybe one day they will be able to know the freedom of the American people and try to preserve it and not abuse it.
    My prayers are for these ones who have been abused by the system and for the government officials who shut their eyes and hearts for a little green in their pockets. But remember it is the backs of the little people who put you there and one day you will know the pain of all you have offended. “Vengeance is mine” sayeth the lord. amen.
    I wish for all who have felt this pain be able to continue their lives and to know one day maybe people will wake up and not leave everything to government officials who see nothing to believe without eyes or ears what is really going on in this proud country we call home.

    • Cheryl says

      That is one sad story. I know there are thousands more like it or even worse. I am a grandparent that sees how my grandkids have to live because of the wonderful way the Dept of C S and their so-called investigaters truly care about the children (NOT). They wouldn’t give the father a chance. So sad for the children.
      I find it difficult to let God work things out but I know He will.

  42. Brenda Maney says

    Lost my kids go forced adoption due to 15 yr old depression diagnosis and a PPD mental breakdown after birth and almost death of my baby daughter,done all the bullshif Cps asked of me and they still took my babies from me,I hate them people!!! Im willing to share my story publicly and expose them filthy rats for what theyre!!!!

    • Valarie Russo says

      Me too. Where r u from? I’m in Denver Colorado. They stole my son. Let’s get the party started. Please call me. Dnt email possed by spam. 3038868473

  43. tracy says

    i have been going through cps in texas taking my grandson and the baby has a medical condition i have all medical records and also doctors that have said it is rickets not abuse but i hve cps doctor saying its abuse. i need help and dont no what to do anymore i have emailed everyone and all they do is push it under the rug. well soon that rug is gonig to make us trip and the world needs to know what this people are doing is ilegal and it has to stop i am trying but not getting anywhere. this is not fair at all and i need advice.

    • Valarie Russo says

      I had a health problem as well and now my son has been adopted. I want him back. I can relate and love you sincerely. Give me a call and I can help you. Please do not email me my email is possed by spams. My number is 3038868473. Lots of love Valarie.

      • Janice says

        Linda, I am praying you will answer. CPS has played some dirty tricks to finally get the judge to agree to TPR. The final hearing is the end of April. Can you give any suggestions? I cant afford an attorney, I’m stuck with a Public Defender and he seems to be working with CPS. I’m searching for witnesses and similar cases. I’m not sure what else to do. Any advice?

    • susan says

      I lost my parental rights ten months ago i am currently pregnant will they take this baby into state custody what can i do to prevent removal someone plz help i cant loose a third one mentally!! thank you

      • says

        Susan, yes, the loss of parental rights follows the parent not the children, so they could take your baby. It has happened to many people in your situation. Some people have even left the country to get away from this law.

      • Love Prevails says

        Pray and hold on to God through FAITH! God kept my child with me and TRUST that no weapon will form against you or your child in the mighty name of Jesus!!! You are in my prayers. <3

        • Tivette smith says

          I like this readind from u about no weapon formed against my daughter who has been taken 6ys ago god bless u.

    • susan says

      i been one for 10 months its torture everyday i dont think it ever gets easier with birthdays and holidays im sorry i wanna die every day i lost my 3 yrd old Bentley N my 7 yr old Landon havent seen them since April 1 2014 its not Feb 14 2015 fought for 3 yrs had clean uas no record 3 bdrm house clean and neat bdrms spotless house 25$ a month and it wasnt good enough i lost the foster parents promised they wouldnt keep them from me and ruin our relationship well she lied i havent seen them since tpr i have no idea what my own babies look like its like im grieving their deaths they arent plz dont take that wrong but thats the way it feels when u cant touch kiss love hug or even look at something you created i definitely lost my smile!!

      • susan says

        i been a tpr parent for 10 months its torture everyday i don’t think it ever gets easier with birthdays and holidays i’m sorry i wanna die every day i lost my 3 yr old Bentley N my 7 yr old Landon havent seen them since April 1 2014 its now Feb 14 2015 I fought like hell for 3 yrs had clean was clean from all drugs for 3 yrs no positive urinalysis I have no criminal record i had A nice 3 bdrm house clean boys had their own decorated rooom that was always clean. Safe positive and sober living home for my boys 25$ a month paid on time for 18 months BUT NO THEY DIDNT CARE THEY WERE ADOPTED 4-6 months after the foster parents promised they wouldnt keep them from me and ruin our relationship well she lied i haven’t seen them since tpr i have no idea what my own babies look like its like i’m grieving their deaths they aren’t plz don’t take that wrong but thats the way it feels when u cant touch kiss love hug or even look at something you created i definitely lost my smile!!

        • Sad mom says

          I had the same thing happen to me with my son who is now turning 8 this September. My ex’s mother called dfs here in mo. She had asked to keep him for a week so when I went to pick him up she wouldn’t let me have him. So I called 911 & asked for help. When the officer got there & spoke to her she said I was unstable with a drug problem. She knew I had recently checked myself into a rehab & checked out after 2 weeks because I missed my son. I was addicted to opiates & asked my family for help & my family just kind of swept it under the rug. I was the first to have an addiction & they just didn’t know what to do. The officer asked me if I was on anything & I was honest & said I’m trying to get help to stop but im a good mother. No record not even a speeding ticket. So I went with him to dfs & immediately the took my son malachi away. Wouldn’t let me say goodbye or anything. I went months without seeing him. I willingly went to a residential treatment program (hour away from my home)where I was on a strict routine & stayed clean & they only let me see my son for 1 hr every other week. I completed that & willingly started a drug court program because my councilor had explained I could get my son back faster. This was so hard & I truly feel it is set up for failure. You have to attend 6-8 1 Hour classes most days of the week. None of which were ever scheduled together. & were 30 miles from my home. & I had to attend 3-4 NA mtgs & 2 hr counseling sessions per week. Plus I had to wake up at 5:30 everyday & call a number to c if they called my color for the day to take a UA if u missed the call & missed ur ua bc u only have about one hour to get there then they say u failed it & then go to jail I even took a test same day to plead I was truly clean, I just fell asleep after working all night, even though I didn’t have a single charge of any kind & willingly did all of this for 2 years plus maintained working night shift 8-10 hrs every night (& turning over my pay stubs to DC)in a nasty chicken plant bc I had to keep a job & they wouldn’t offer night classes in drug court so where I live that was really my only option. I never had time to sleep & was extremely depressed & exhausted all the time. Once I fell asleep in a DC class after working 15 hrs & going straight to class & the judge sanctioned me 30 days in jail. I spent a total of 59 days sanctioned in jail one was bc I went to a bar & grill where alcohol is served & someone called & reported I was there eating. Even though I passed alcohol lab judge still sent me to jail & took my visits with my son. I never failed a drug test or relapsed on drugs, I went to every class & appt, I rented a large 3 bedroom home alone & lived off ramen noodles for a year to pay child support to the state & pay my bills & make my appts, & buy malachi everything he needed. & pay my lawyer. I was always on time to my visits with my son & all my counselor reports & PA (the observer at child visits) reports were excellent. Attended 3-4 NA mtgs with signatures. Kept a sponsor, attended 9 months of child care classes, attended all the drug & alcohol courses & graduated from everything. But the judge & the board of directors for drug court refused to let me see my mother who was an addict but she had many many surgeries so for 2 years I never called or seen my mother in fear they wouldn’t let me see my son if they knew. On the 30 day sanction jail sentencing( I received for falling asleep in a class) my mother committed suicide 48 years old. & the last things I said to her were horrible bc I wanted her to get treatment so I could see her. She always told me without me & malachi in her life she had nothing left to live for. & I truly felt like it was my fault. The judge let me out of jail for 1 day to make funeral arrangements & let me out for 3 hours to attend my mothers funeral.( Keep in mind I’m in a volunteer drug court that I thought would help me keep my son) 2 weeks later judge kicked me out of drug court. After everything I had been through. Then Dfs continued to harass me, come to my house & demand drug tests & to see my home which all reports were always great. Even the one woman on the board of dc stood up for me at tpr hearing along with my PA & both said they suggest my son be returned to my home. But the judge said no, this continued another 8 months, never getting more time or any progress just lawyer fees racking up. I continued to follow rules. & I felt it was never going to end. Here after 15 -25 months in state care the child must be adopted legally. So my father had been taking care of my son, & didn’t want to push me out of the progress I had made but the courts gave him no choice. If he didn’t adopt him rite then they would take my son & put him into foster care. My dad had to take tons of classes. They monitored him with everything like trying to catch him doing wrong. Watched his Facebook & made him do parenting classes over nothing. I couldn’t see my dad or my son unless it was at a visitation & the most I ever got granted was 2 hours a week. My dad got in trouble for helping me in anyway. Or trying to be supportive. So they made me cut out my mother, my father & my 4 year old son & follow all these impossible tasks but I did it. They did not terminate my rites I eventually had the choice of signing them away or being terminated bc my dad had to adopt him so what the courts did here in mo was just waste 3 years of valuable time I could have had with my family. I wasn’t allowed to go to gatherings if my son was there & my dad. No Christmas, no birthdays, no thanksgivings. It was the most miserable time in my life. But choosing to sign rather than terminate was my best option because now they have no say so in anything. My dad lets me see my son whenever & I get him every other weekend. & now I am having a baby & the state would have been able to take it if I had tpr order. So sometimes doing what u feel is rite, like all the pros suggest doesn’t work in your favor. I wish I had just signed rite out of rehab & could have seen my family & my son & never would have put them all trough he** for nothing.
          Department of family services is a joke. They have no interest in reuniting family’s only tearing them apart. Good luck to u all. I wish u success & hope my story gives u a little insight on the turmoil these ppl do.

          • Justice74 says

            There was a news story where a Republican State Representative adopted 2 girls and fostered a 3rd one, all siblings. After he and his wife couldn’t handle them any more they were given away to another couple. This was after a short period of time, like less than 2 years. The “new” dad raped the 6 year old girl.
            It is apparent that once the child is adopted it can be “given, signed over, gifted over” in majority of States with just a single piece of document, by the “new” parents.
            Your State could be one of them, if it is maybe your dad can give your son back to you.
            It is a chilling thought though that children can be traded like cattle, and no one is held accountable.

            Full story I believe was on or

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