Depression is normal for anyone going through CPS hell. You can’t expect not to feel depressed, but you can learn ways to deal with your grief.
One of the symptoms of depression is suicidal ideation.
Recently I saw a posting on our FightCPS Facebook Group from a woman whose friend committed suicide after her children were taken by CPS, due to her work hours, of all the trivial things to take kids for!
This isn’t the first time I’ve heard of someone committing suicide over having their children taken by CPS. I’ll never forget Brandy who told a group of us, back in 2001, that she was too depressed and was thinking suicidal thoughts. After a while we never heard from her again, and I’ve always wondered what happened.
It isn’t just women! I’ve heard of multiple men who killed themselves, thinking that if they did, CPS would go away and leave their wives and children alone.
No, that’s not how it works.
Listen, my depressed friends, this is not the thing to do when your family is attacked by CPS. I will use that old saying, “Don’t choose a permanent solution for a temporary problem.”
When my child was taken by CPS at birth, over 20 years ago, I was extremely depressed. I know exactly what that feels like. It is terrible and nearly unbearable, but we have to get through it.
May I suggest:
1. Study depression. Learn more about it. There are different types of depression. What you have is probably depressive reaction, also called “situational depression” or “adjustment disorder.” This is a reaction to the shock and trauma of having your family attacked and separated. It is temporary!!
2. Ask your therapist about seeing a psychiatrist. A psychiatrist can prescribe an anti-depressant medication if you want it to help you get through this traumatic time in your life. If you do this, keep your appointments for evaluations as anti-depressants are known to sometimes make the depression worse rather than better.
3. God. May I say it? Jesus Christ came to heal broken hearts. He is the greatest healer the world has ever known. Take your troubles to Him by making time for prayer whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed. Ask for others to pray for you too. You can leave a prayer request on this page. Attend a worship service with beautiful uplifting music at least once each week. “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18
4. Exercise. It is well-known that exercise helps to alleviate depression. Take walks, or whatever you most like to do. Just remember to keep moving, keep your heart pumping, and know that it will have a positive effect on your mood.
5. Get enough sleep. It always makes a huge difference for your outlook on life. I cannot even write for this website unless I get enough sleep the night before. Short-changing yourself on sleep is sure to cause trouble.
6. Eat good foods. Vegetable juice is amazing – it brings on a rush of healthy feelings. I’m not a dietitian and I think you might not like my food choices (all vegetarian) … but I know that avoiding things like sugary sodas and drinking vegetable juice instead is a good step toward better health. Remember, anything with sugar will cause a “high” then a “low” due to blood sugar changes.
7. St. John’s Wort is a herb that helps some depressed people. If you try it, remember it can cause sensitivity to light. Consult a naturopathic doctor about any natural depression solutions and supplements you plan to use.
Any other suggestions? Please use the comment section below to let us know what works for you.
Do NOT use marijuana!! I know it helps a lot of people with depression, but not if you’re in the middle of a CPS case. Many parents have used marijuana while experiencing CPS-induced depression, and consequently had their parental rights terminated because of it.
Avoid all illegal drugs now and forever! Do it for yourself, and for your children.
Think about what your children would want you to be doing with this time in your life when they’re not with you.
Wouldn’t they want you to be doing something to make your life better, like more education so you could get a better job?
With more money you could hire a private detective to find them when they’re older, or launch an all-out media and social-media campaign to find them when they’re teenagers.
Those children are NOT going to be happy if they find out you gave up and killed yourself. What would that make them feel like? Do they need any more grief?
Do not be like those people who committed suicide. I honor them and embrace their grief, and understand their depression – but there are other things to do in life, even if your children have been taken forever.
You are here for a reason.
Lift yourself up.
Get better education, a good job, pursue meaningful hobbies, or whatever it is you need to do to feel better about yourself.
Pray for your kids, trust God, and keep on going.
Your family and friends need to know that despite your intense pain, you’re going to get through this.
I need to know that too.
This posting is dedicated to the memory of Lacie Dryer, victim of CPS abuse. RIP – 2014.