What To Do If You’re Depressed Over Losing Your Children to CPS

Depression is normal for anyone going through CPS hell. You can’t expect not to feel depressed, but you can learn ways to deal with your grief.




One of the symptoms of depression is suicidal ideation.

Recently I saw a posting on our FightCPS Facebook Group from a woman whose friend committed suicide after her children were taken by CPS, due to her work hours, of all the trivial things to take kids for!

This isn’t the first time I’ve heard of someone committing suicide over having their children taken by CPS. I’ll never forget Brandy who told a group of us, back in 2001, that she was too depressed and was thinking suicidal thoughts. After a while we never heard from her again, and I’ve always wondered what happened.

It isn’t just women! I’ve heard of multiple men who killed themselves, thinking that if they did, CPS would go away and leave their wives and children alone.

No, that’s not how it works.

Listen, my depressed friends, this is not the thing to do when your family is attacked by CPS. I will use that old saying, “Don’t choose a permanent solution for a temporary problem.”

When my child was taken by CPS at birth, over 20 years ago, I was extremely depressed. I know exactly what that feels like. It is terrible and nearly unbearable, but we have to get through it.

May I suggest:

1. Study depression. Learn more about it. There are different types of depression. What you have is probably depressive reaction, also called “situational depression” or “adjustment disorder.” This is a reaction to the shock and trauma of having your family attacked and separated. It is temporary!!

2. Ask your therapist about seeing a psychiatrist. A psychiatrist can prescribe an anti-depressant medication if you want it to help you get through this traumatic time in your life. If you do this, keep your appointments for evaluations as anti-depressants are known to sometimes make the depression worse rather than better.

3. God. May I say it? Jesus Christ came to heal broken hearts. He is the greatest healer the world has ever known. Take your troubles to Him by making time for prayer whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed. Ask for others to pray for you too. You can leave a prayer request on this page. Attend a worship service with beautiful uplifting music at least once each week. “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

4. Exercise. It is well-known that exercise helps to alleviate depression. Take walks, or whatever you most like to do. Just remember to keep moving, keep your heart pumping, and know that it will have a positive effect on your mood.

5. Get enough sleep. It always makes a huge difference for your outlook on life. I cannot even write for this website unless I get enough sleep the night before. Short-changing yourself on sleep is sure to cause trouble.

6. Eat good foods. Vegetable juice is amazing – it brings on a rush of healthy feelings. I’m not a dietitian and I think you might not like my food choices (all vegetarian) … but I know that avoiding things like sugary sodas and drinking vegetable juice instead is a good step toward better health. Remember, anything with sugar will cause a “high” then a “low” due to blood sugar changes.

7. St. John’s Wort is a herb that helps some depressed people. If you try it, remember it can cause sensitivity to light. Consult a naturopathic doctor about any natural depression solutions and supplements you plan to use.

Any other suggestions? Please use the comment section below to let us know what works for you.

Do NOT use marijuana!! I know it helps a lot of people with depression, but not if you’re in the middle of a CPS case. Many parents have used marijuana while experiencing CPS-induced depression, and consequently had their parental rights terminated because of it.

Avoid all illegal drugs now and forever! Do it for yourself, and for your children.

Think about what your children would want you to be doing with this time in your life when they’re not with you.

Wouldn’t they want you to be doing something to make your life better, like more education so you could get a better job?

With more money you could hire a private detective to find them when they’re older, or launch an all-out media and social-media campaign to find them when they’re teenagers.

Those children are NOT going to be happy if they find out you gave up and killed yourself. What would that make them feel like? Do they need any more grief?

Do not be like those people who committed suicide. I honor them and embrace their grief, and understand their depression – but there are other things to do in life, even if your children have been taken forever.

You are here for a reason.

Lift yourself up.

Get better education, a good job, pursue meaningful hobbies, or whatever it is you need to do to feel better about yourself.

Pray for your kids, trust God, and keep on going.

Your family and friends need to know that despite your intense pain, you’re going to get through this.

I need to know that too.


This posting is dedicated to the memory of Lacie Dryer, victim of CPS abuse. RIP – 2014.





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Comments

  1. Sara says

    I lost both my girls to cps 6 years ago over marijuana consumption while pregnant, ariana was taken at birth and emily who was 3 at the time, it was a 2 year battle which ended in me voluntarily giving up my rights because i was told if i didn’t that i would be deemed a neglectful parent and they would take any children i were to ever have, i am facing some depressing times right now because the adoptive mother always promised i would get to talk to them and would eventually let me see them, well she doesnt and yesterday was the first day of the school year and their dad was there for them but i wasnt allowed or even told about it. I try to maintain a positive attitude and i buy them gifts and i have gone to school to better myself i have a beautiful 3 bedroom house with just me and my man of 8 years and yet im still not able to see them or even talk to them and the gifts i buy cant have my name on them i feel so lost as to what to do, there adoptive mother has child abuse charges on her record for hurting my oldest and i still try to look past that and have a relationship with her but she does not want to talk to me or anything, please pray for me and my children i am feeling so hopeless and lately i have been feeling like i dont want to live anymore it just hurts so much all the time.

  2. Laura says

    My name is laura wright , my son was taken from me , he’s now two months old im so very depressed I need guidance on how to handle this situation please help me ..

  3. mickalyn says

    my kids been in foster care since august 2014 i had post pardum depression and i didnt have family support my kids dad were incarcerated for violation of probation due to domestic violence i am bipolar and stopped taking my medication due to caring for the kids i had a newborn and a 18 month old cps told me that if i do what they ask i will get them back in 6 months i did everything and it is not good enough they always find something negative to prolonged the case i am overly stressed and worry that i will loose my kids forever and i will be devastated and will loose my mind i would not have no reason to live

    • says

      Mickalyn, keep trying. Read this site and others like it and prepare for court with documentary evidence and legal documents. So long as the case is still open you have a chance to get your children back.

    • krista says

      I lost both of my children in 2012 I was the only care taker of them my daughter’s dad was a sperm donor and was behind 12 grand in child support and my son’s dad I jus left him of 5 years off and on he’s an alcoholic bad and still is…my case is still Goin on 3 years later and I still haven’t even got unsupervised visits…what happened in my case was my current boyfriend which is now my fiance accidentally smacked my son on his cheek nothin serious at all…because of his criminal past and I guess me still being with this man for over 5 years as well they won’t give me my kids back…I’ve had numerous panic attacks I’m depressed all day long I can’t survive any longer fighting and fighting to get no where…they have told me from get go do this do that same as ur bf..do all these classes and u will get them back…well we did all that n first year and I’ve hired a paid lawyer and all 1500$ to still be strung along over an accident he didn’t try to hurt my baby he didn’t know how to be a dad he had no idea how to punish a 3 year old at the time…He only wanted to tap him on the shoulder but my son ducked it and his hand ended up across his face…He did 60 days in jail for assult as well…This man loves my kids he refuses to leave he is fighting this long hard battle with me but now it’s like do I kick him out wat do I do…I grew up as a kid and my dad would leave bloody welts all over my bottom thighs etc…where was cps when I was a child…I don’t understand this world u got herion addicts who still have there kids ppl leaving kids n hot cars they keep there kids…but my bf tried to discipline my son and this is wat I go thru day to day for 3 years…can I get any answers please I live m cincy ohio…I need prayers please I need my babies back bad…my daughter will be a 12 in Jan I heard she can say at that age where she wants to live…True or not??? Help me please

      • says

        Krista, I admire your bf for sticking with you but truth is you would have had a better chance of getting your children back without him in the home. But the case has been going on for so long, if the children are with their fathers now the judge will probably want to keep them in a stable place. So, where are they? It is unusual for a case to be ongoing this long these days. They like to terminate parental rights and adopt the children out. Did they ever try to terminate your rights?

        I hope you are using this opportunity for career development. The more you earn, the more likely you are of being able to help your children when they need you.

        Every state has different laws about how old a child must be before they can help decide where they will live. Please read your state’s laws about families and custody decisions.

  4. says

    My ex-wife, Augustine Blakely Larson, aka Emily June Misciagna, killed herself on 3 June 2015. Two days later, I received a petition in the mail, dated 2 June 2015, stating that a dependency and neglect case had been filed against her. She had been admitted to a mental hospital on 20 May, and signed herself out on 25 May against medical advice. According to the state, this put the welfare of our daughter at risk, and so the child was removed from her home and placed in the custody of the child’s maternal grandparents.

    I believe that toward the end, her child was what gave her a reason for living, despite all of her pain; and that she saw no use in continuing to live after the state took her child away. About a year earlier, she had written in her blog, “I am pregnant! So exciting! I’m still worried about an ectopic pregnancy and I’m really hormonal right now, but hopefully, things will be OK! This baby means everything to me. . . . .

    “It’s been a while since I could say that I’m excited about life, that it feels like an adventure, but the feeling is nice. It won’t last forever, of course, but I also have faith that I won’t backslide too badly.

    “I feel like my whole life has been a dark night of the soul, and now, suddenly, there’s a dawn. In light of everything, you’d think I’d be depressed, suicidal, angry, disrupted, but I’m not. I surprise myself sometimes.

    “I think part of it is I have to be strong right now. I don’t have time to fall into a depression. I don’t have time to dwell on the past. I don’t have time to moan and bitch about all the shit I’ve been through. It doesn’t matter right now. I have a possible baby on the way, and I need to focus on the future, and my pets, and on my own mental health.”

    The case in still pending, and currently I am leaning toward contesting the issue of whether the child was dependent or neglected, so that we’ll have a chance of getting the case dismissed at the adjudication stage. I would probably invoke my right under Colorado law to have the case decided by six jurors.

      • says

        Yes, they already have brought up the restraining order my wife obtained against me, as evidence of domestic violence; and also have brought up my criminal record (my most recent charge was from almost seven years ago). There’s probably more stuff they can dig up if they try, or if my former parents-in-law help them. (My former parents-in-law are “interested parties” in the case, who currently have custody of my daughter and want to adopt her.)

      • Nathan Larson says

        Another reason why I think that she killed herself because of the CPS case is that, in the past, whenever she’d been suicidal, she had considered what would happen to her pet dog and cat after she died, and questioned me about whether I would find a suitable caregiver for them. Sometimes the reason she gave for aborting her suicide plans was that she was concerned for the welfare of her animals.

        If she would’ve been concerned enough about her animals to want to stay alive for their benefit, I think she would’ve wanted even more to stay alive for the sake of her daughter. She had also written in her blog, “Family always comes first. . . . One of the reasons I haven’t offed myself yet is for my family. “

      • Nathan Larson says

        She had also written, “All my life, the most important people to me, the people I have lived for and fought for and suffered for… it’s always been my family. . . . My family is the most important thing to me in the world”.

  5. Jennifer says

    I am in arizona, over a month ago my six children were taken by cps. After over a year of my a busive ex had an order of protection for a year but had the money to file a motion almost every week with crazy lies, snazzy attorney while no child support being temporarily ordered while I took care of all their needs. I lost a couple hpusea with eviction, he uses the unstable. sx children. I dont even spank. I am a great mom. My kids have begged the caseworker to come home and she says they ignore her. The more I have/ researched, the more I realize that it isnt just us,but I want to fight. I think the public defender even assigned is behind it, she was defending the caseworker because I nicely but bluntly explained I was well aware ifbthe lies that are being told, done, the corruption. She defended him! Red flag. The boys , the fpur youngest, have been placed with their dad who was the abuser and up til they gave them to him he only had supervised visits. The two older girls are in two seperate homes. The 12 year old used her friends phone on the bus and called me begging for me to come see her. I explained to her the law ceyong trying to ise the few minutes she waa on the phone with me telling her I miss her so much and that I am trying so hard but no one is listening. She wants to come home. My 17 year old daughter who I was actually closest to up til whe.nThey took her now doesnt even want to see me. Sbe aaid to her sister HOW wonderful the caseworker is amd I knew they got to her. I am on here to find some way to fight this, get info on how to fight, and do it. Lots of feelings and stories which lets me know I am not the only one but is there a case or grpup to fight here in arizona. I have contacted the media. No response. I cant afford a attorney . All of the kids are in danger, between the two in foster homes and definitely the four little boys with their abisive father. Pleae help. I called my caseworkers superviser supervisor. No response of course. They will no respond. I have had had no visits with them at all. Only contact was when my 12 year old randomly calls me two times begging to come home. No one should have asuch power as these people do.

    • says

      Did you go to court? Do you have a lawyer who can help you regain custody of your children? I’m sorry your 17yo turned against you. That hurts… trust me, I know. Usually they come around when they see that nobody else in the world can replace the unconditional love they were getting from their mom.

  6. Cory G says

    My kids were taken over two months ago because my daughter said I yelled too much. We do yell but rarely. There’s no domestic violence at all tho. Cps had allowed us six great visits worth the kids and the kids run up to me and their step mom with huge smiles and they keep asking when they can come back to my place.. Cps is keeping the kids away for no reason. It’s not right. The KENTVILLE NOVA SCOTIA OFFICE has been misquoting things I’ve said, and making me out to be some horrible monster. The case worker even brought the kids here and said she had no issues at all but yet I am still jumping through hoops. I’m in shock they have the ability to steal your kids and destroy your life for yelling. Someone needs to sort these people out. They say they are protecting the kids but really they’re hurting them more. Any advice? I do have a lawyer but it seems I’m a always hounding him and not getting much help.

  7. Candy says

    Back in 2006, my kids were removed from my home. My husband & I did everything the court asked of me & still they took my kids. We fought for the kids for 3 years. Then they terminated our rights. I haven’t seen them since 2009. I got counseling & one of the biggest things the counselor suggested was a trunk. I know my kids will come looking for me when they turn 18. I bought a trunk for each of them. Each birthday, Christmas, Easter, Valentines, or just because, I buy a little something that reminds me of the kids & I put it in their trunk. I started a charm bracelet for my daughter & a tool collection & remote control items for my son. I buy a Christmas ornament for the kids each year & hang all the ornaments on the tree. I crocheted a blanket for each of the kids. I search the internet for new ideas of things to add to their trunks. I think of my kids everyday. I pray for them. I tell myself, yesterday is gone & today is one day closer for my kids to come back to me. God gave me a promise in Jeremiah 31:15 – 17: “This is what the Lord says: “A cry is heard in Ramah—deep anguish and bitter weeping. Rachel weeps for her children, refusing to be comforted—for her children are gone.”
    But now this is what the Lord says: “Do not weep any longer, for I will reward you,” says the Lord. “Your children will come back to you from the distant land of the enemy.
    There is hope for your future,” says the Lord. “Your children will come again to their own land.”
    I finished my master’s degree & have a good job now. Staying busy & putting something in their trunk each month helps. I would suggest you finding a project you can do for your kids & start collecting things to give to them when they return. I know it’s hard & those holidays are the worst. Sometimes I have to get angry about what happened & let off a little steam in a healthy way so I can get myself out of that depressive state. Anger expressed in a healthy way is my defense mechanism to keep going on with life. Also, the hope that my kids are coming back to me. I trust God to take care of them wherever they are.

    • says

      Candy, your posting touched me deep down, and brought tears to my eyes – because you’re doing all the things I would hope any TPR’ed parent would do. You didn’t give up. You got more education and now, a good job. You have your trunks for your children because you’re building your future with them. Best of all, you have the Lord in your life… best helper, healer and comforter ever. Thank you so much for writing. I will be telling other parents about what you wrote. You are a beacon of hope and a bright light showing others the way.

  8. WinterSteelhdr says

    Suicidal Ideation…
    I’m there!!!!
    My son was taken by CPS due to a false allegation of DV. Even though she attempted to recant, CPS bullied her into moving forth on the allegation.
    Now that has paid off for her. Placement of my son is with her, the actual perpetrator of the DV.
    Let me fast forward… I’ve been on a downward spiral since this case was opened. Every turn I’ve run into a brick wall.
    This past March I was assaulted once again by my ex. CPS sided with her, stating she made a bad choice.
    I went to court today for a continuing restraining order which was denied. She admitted to the assault but stated she didn’t mean to hurt me… it was an accident.
    Next… CPS is aware of everything and the caseworker continually advises my ex on how to keep me away from my son. The caseworker defends EVERY nefarious action.
    Now I’m facing to be a less than every other weekend dad to my 18 month old son whom I’ve been the primary caretaker.
    I’m losing my resolve!!! I’m ever closer to the end…

    • says

      Winter… consider the future. The far away future. Even if your son stays with his mom, he will be thinking about you. He will want to know you. He will especially want to know that you care about him.

      How can you show that? Maybe by gift-giving from afar, and showing some compassion to his mom by giving to her too. He will want to know what kind of a person you are… will that be an angry, bitter, unforgiving person, or an altruistic, compassionate, and caring person?

      I encourage you to stay around for the long haul, and be the person you know your son will want to find when he’s allowed to be near you again. These kids grow up… and they’re still your kids then. Even if he stays with his mom until he’s 18 he will leave her home and as a young adult will need the help of others to transition into full adulthood. Will you be there for him… at least make an offer of being there for him?

      Probably the last thing he’d want to learn is that his dad gave up and ended his life before a relationship was even possible. Kids don’t get over knowing a parent committed suicide. So I hope you’ll pull yourself together and stay with what you know is the truth… but consider things from your son’s point of view.

      When he’s able to scan the internet, will he want to find a litany of accusations against his mother, or will he want to find that his parents are mature enough to co-parent responsibly for the good of their child, without anger and tension?

      I know it is a big order, but it is through difficult times like this that we grow spiritually and into a higher form of human maturity. Bear with the pain. It is true… whatever doesn’t kill you will make you stronger. I hope to see you on the other side of this disaster… a stronger person doing something for the good of humankind.

  9. Deb says

    how do you survive when they take the little one from you? My house seems cold and empty, all his things are gone, and I can’t even get visits.

  10. Treasure says

    Well I’m bout ready to give up..I don’t wanna even think about what might happen from this point..yesterday was my last state…so here I sit..witj sleep mess and wine..smh..if I what else to do..I’m gonna go crazy n I’d rather for before that…

    • says

      Treasure, my best advice is to go to a church and find Jesus because He can help comfort you and heal your broken heart. You can go to most churches and ask to talk to the minister. You should not be alone right now.

  11. Orozco says

    I just got my 3 month old baby taken away from me 3 weeks ago I need lots of prayer he was my everything we were together all the time I feel depressed like nothing matters.
    I know I have to be strong and fight for my baby but sometimes is to hard knowing he’s probably bounding with somebody else Or missing me please I need lots of prayer for my baby to come back home me and daddy are doing everything we can to bring him back soon.

    • says

      Orozco, I will pray for you and your family. Your baby knows you and knows something’s wrong, that you love him and that he’s been moved. I hope he will be returned to you soon.

  12. Richard sievert says

    God’s going to fight for all good parents who have had there hearts ripped out by all of the many rotten cps agents!

  13. Andreal says

    I need someone to pray that I get my babies back. They are very young 1 and 6 months. I hate myself that I let CPS come into my life and take them from me. I find myself in depression mode at times even when I think I’m ok. I seem to cry for no reason at all. I been praying for myself that all this will be over. I believe in God and I know he will work it out, but I just think I need more than just me praying for myself. Pray for me please!

  14. says

    I am fighting cps it has been about a year and a half.I feel they use my now ex husband against me.cps is wrongfully handling things wrong I have done all classes required and have a job car and home.hopefully the judge turns her head and sees that I deserve them back two of my children are tribal members and they have been turned against me to the fullest extent.all I want is them back somebody hear me out I have been diagnosed with ptsd which is a sign of depression.all who are going through this torture never give up.Lord hear our prayers my family also gets nothing out of this.cps is prejudiced and they use bias never believe anything they say.with love to all Andrea

  15. Despair says

    I don’t want to live in this world anymore! They took my daughter on an anonymous call. She was 3 1/2 years old, yesterday she turned 6, and I haven’t seen her in over a year. I have no money or strength left to fight!

    • says

      Despair… hang on… you will be made stronger by the grief you live through. Jesus heals broken hearts. Do not turn to drugs or alcohol for comfort because they will only drag you down to the abyss. Become the person you were meant to be.

  16. Clifford says

    Im so depressed lost and confused at how CPS did things and just how much they get away with…My family and I was violated and our constitutional rights tossed in the garbage and there was nothing I could do…I really need help in this battle..My kids are being harmed in the worse way possible emotionally and minimally by being taken from the only ones they know only by an allegation.never knew cussing could be domestic violence. couldn’t get anything else on me so they made that up..and violated my constitutional rights and my childs constitutional rights by asking him questions app dad told them they was not allowed without me or an attorney present and that’s too bad of a court order which they did not and could not produce and said they didn’t have to have one..

  17. Leslie says

    You have no idea how much I needed to find this page tonight. I was lying in bed sobbing because my son will be turning 4 in just a couple of weeks. He and my other 3 children were taken from me and my husband almost a year ago. Our CPS case can’t progress because my husband has criminal charges that were brought against him and if he doesn’t try to fight them, he loses his job and we lose our income. I’m disabled and can’t work. I’ve been depressed for years but this is a whole new type of depression. I have been contemplating suicide for several days, even going to the point of holding the pills in my hand and writing out instructions on what to do with my body. I don’t know how much longer I can take this. I was fragile before and then they took the greatest parts of me. My baby barely knows me. He was taken when he was eleven months old. He loves his daddy but will not let me hold him. He twists himself around so that he’s back in daddy’s arms. I often wonder why I didn’t leave my husband when all of this happened. He’s the reason I’m going through all of this pain. The only reason I don’t end it all is because I’m afraid of what I would face on the other side. I am not that religious but I would like to think that Christ would have some sympathy for my situation. If I ever follow through with my plan, I will leave a note to each of my children telling them it was never their fault and I’m sorry that I failed them. I can’t keep playing the cps game.

  18. Chasia says

    Help,

    My family is reporting my activity to my CPS worker even though I don’t want them to do this.

    I asked them for help and they did before they opened a case on me and then CPS told them to stop talking to me.

    Then, when I wanted to ask them about any personal or private matters they just forwarded calls and e-mails to my caseworker!

    The thing is, I am all by myself and I did actually need their help but they didn’t want to listen to me and believed instead I was doing things that are completely untrue!

    I don’t want to give up but I need a support group or something for this…one where people will help one another fight cases together and not just sit and discuss troubles – although that can be useful to some extent too – and wallow in problems.

    • Jennifer says

      Did you ever find that group to fight. My six children are gone amd were given to my ex, the abuser. Cps has lied, created stories, tried to confuse the children to say things. I dont know what to do! I need a group to fight this battle!

  19. patty daniels says

    My husband and i have been fighting to get our beautiful daughter back for over two years. We were forced to give up our rights by cps. We both regret having to do so. It is hard for me to do this. I do it one day at a time. She will always be within me to keep going. I will always be love her.

  20. Heartbroken says

    When my daughter came back home from my ex’s house saying she was molested, I was horrified and tried to do the right thing and have something done about it so it wouldn’t happen again. Well much to my horror CPS stepped in and turned everything around on me and destroyed my family. My daughter has been sentenced to life with my ex and his child molesting roommate to be around their drug use and other abuse, while I’m barred from seeing or talking to my own child for no reason.

    I have no means of fighting this legally, except to pray that some how, some way a solution presents itself or I can find someone who will take payments or work for free.

    Please pray for me.. this has been a month from hell.

  21. hopin and waitin says

    cps should not exist the superior family law governs especially your childrens history the minute this courts make a mistake that causes your child harm they blame you , everybody we all need to be “strong” the cps court in san bernardino just closed my case because i told them i would jump their hoops but i was not signing anything they wnted my signature so they closed the case i awaitto have some document statin so. Then my battle will be with the family law court i just hope my son is strong enough to keep himself alive will i find a way to safe my best friend who i have no contact with or even seen i miss him dearly ever since november 24th 2012 brutality assaulted by mom and stepdad

  22. Jyse & chas Hooper says

    ME AND MY JUST WENT THROUGH THAT CPS … we WERE FIGHTING FOR OUR G.BABY AND OF COURSE we LOST.WE DONE EVERYTHING THEY WANTED FROM US.PASSED THE DRUG TEST THE WHOLE LOT.WHEN ALL WAS SAID AND DONE the reason why we didn’t win was for one I came off too aggressive number two they don’t return to convicted felons.I had a conviction. In 1992 but for 15 months they danggled the baby in front of us like a carrot and a donkey.what I am getting at is can they do that. SHE (THE BABY) GOT ADOPTED OUT.WE STILL TALK TO HET BUT THAT AINT THR SAME. I FEEL LIKE THEY SEEN HOW SHE WAS ATTATCHED TO ME AND TOOK HER . I EVEN HAD THE CASE WORKER TELL ME SHE WILL NOT SAY ANYTHING GOOD ON OUR BEHALF.BY THE WAY OUR CASE WORKER CUT ON HERSELF. THIS IS WISE CO.TEXAS.

    • says

      Yes, sorry to say, that is exactly what they often do. The county gets social security fund money just for having you go to their “services” like psychological testing, counseling, parenting classes, etc… so it is a financial benefit to them to have you doing these things, thinking all along that you might get the child back, even if they truly never intend to allow that to happen. There are many thousands of families that have been through this.

      The social workers SAY that their job is to reunify families but in truth, the funding from the federal government very much encourages foster care, then TPR and adoption instead. The federal laws are corrupt, and really, they shouldn’t even exist because of the Tenth Amendment of the US Constitution. That’s why I support the State Sovereignty Movement.

      • Jennifer says

        I can see you have tons of info and have been kind to dedicate to showing the info you know. Is there any way to speak with you over the phone? I am in arizona. I had my six children yanked. Cps doesnt respond to me at all and my given attorney even defends him. I could make myself available anytime. I have a broken phone reading up on all this and I am so lost. Arizona has cases that are EXACTLY what is going on with me. ?

        • says

          Jennifer, I can’t offer phone contact because if I did, I’d be busy all day long every day talking to people who want to talk about their CPS cases. Because I can’t help everyone that way, I’ve put what I know on this website and in the forum. I’m doing what I can to help the greatest number of people at one time.

    • Brenda says

      I think thats funny bc my mother was a convicted felon and convicted of child abuse and when I lost custody in 29001 social services placed my 4months old baby with her knowing her criminal bkground and knowing that I was removed from her and placed in foster care on three occasions as a child. Seems to me CPS just make up thier own belligerent and exaggerated rules! I hate them I wish nothing but misery and painful illness on them..Sorry cant help how I feel they have destroyed my whole life and I just want to leave this cold and cruel world!!

  23. Blanca R says

    While moving a family member (ex-sister in law) forced my daughter into her vehicle and took her to the police department and told the police that my daughter was trying to commit suicide. My daughter was put in a psychiatric hospital, and she was going to take my daughter to my mother. At that time because of this my 3 daughters were picked up by cps, and I was living in El Centro now. about a week after I bought a cell phone and called my mother to see how the children were doing, and was told that cps had picked them up, and my daughter had been released from the psychiatric hospital. I had missed the first court hearing and had a scheduled hearing the following week. I had no money to go to the court in L.A. and did not go to the court hearing. My daughter’s are now with a cousin of mine, and I turned in my son with my mom after borrowing a car to take him to san bernardino county. The worker told my mother that she had to bring my son to her in L.A. County. Is there anything I can do to avoid getting my son taken away? We have court on March 20, 2014, and I spoke to the worker who said my son is going to a foster home. I enrolled in parenting classes, and I am taking drug classes also, because my ex-sister in law told the police that I was on the floor drugged up, and my daughter claims she told the police that all this was not true. Is there anything I can do to avoid turning my son in? Please help!!!!

    • says

      Blanca, I don’t know what will happen with your son – but keep this in mind…. the social worker isn’t the one who makes the final decision. The decision of where your son will live is up to the judge… so do what you can to impress the judge favorably. From now on NEVER miss a court hearing or visitation opportunity as that would be held against you. That’s a good idea to take your son to your mom. Could you and your mother get guardianship papers drawn up and filed before the court date?

  24. Al says

    If you will notice it is very rare for a CPS (by whatever name) to go after the rich and powerful.
    The most effective defense I have found for making CPS go away is an immediate cell phone call to a first-rate CPS defense lawyer while standing on my front porch with the door closed and latched behind me.
    Camcorders are good, too. Streaming videoing with a smartphone is even better since if the socialist worker has the cops along, for the SW to have the cop snatch the phone doesn’t erase the video.
    Twice having our lawyer on tap has chased the CPS off, in two states.

  25. says

    I have three boys 6/4/an two months old baby,I just feel cps is taking vantage of my rights with my children, I have my own place to stay in my two bedroom apartments, I wish someone out there could help me what Ive been threw with cps, an also cps says I don’t know my Cognitive, Cps check me for criminal back an domestic violence, My Record Clean an I don’t have any Domestic violence, Im Am Not a Violence person im calm, an im am a Very happy mother would love will take responsibility for my three lovely Children boys, two of my older boys is bonded with me have great good healthy Relationship together, my boys talk good amazing things about me, cus I know Deep an down in my heart, im am a Good great compassion mother, I lm not giving up on my three children They need there mother an I need them, I will do everything in my own power to get my three Boys Back, Cps is Corrupted just has well atty public defender like to Pretend Represent U, Im Looking Forward to Hire Atty is Gonna Fight real Hard against Cps Workers on Case,cps workers make me Suffer a whole alot cps dont e even give me a Chance with my three children boys, an one of my boys have to have 7 stitches on his head now its a scar for life I have to see he my 4 year old son, my Six year son have bruises all over his Body, my oldest son told me that the foster Parents told both of my boy if they dont tuck his shirt in his pants that both of my boys will get spanked with belts on there bottom or Back an I was Upset cus I don’t spank my children,I pray of God blessed me hard has he can Help me get my three babies Back, thank you

    • says

      I agree that the best source of help is God … and Jesus heals broken hearts. What CPS puts parents through is hell. It is crazy that CPS thinks that taking children away from depressed parents is the thing to do. It only makes to depression WAY worse… my heart goes out to you and all others who are in this situation. I pray for you daily.

  26. Tammy says

    Hi,my name is tammy, my kids was taken from me, when I was treated myself depression, I left my kids with my mother an cps came in an took my kids away cus cps saying I have mental illness an I dont, I talk to doctors an counselor, I told them I live on my owned apartment two bedroom an everything is new in home, cps never once out of the Whole year check my places to say I was stable, cps work against me an lie about me, that im on drugs, cps check me for drugs I came out clean,on june 4th I came out dirty once for opiate I have prescription for vicodin for my illness in my vaginal infection,cps say I have addiction an I dont they send to some programs at last min before my service was terminated, on Sept,19,2013, now cps is trying to Terminate my perinatal rights on March 28,2014 in the mean I did came up pregnant just had a boy inon December 9th 2013, how ever cps gave Temporary Custody to the baby father hes illegal, he has no paper he live in basement with my baby, he dose drugs marijuana, he works, an everything, cps gave my baby to baby father nolvin his name, he begged me to Help him with my baby kuz he didnot know what to do, baby father live in Pittsburgh, me I live in Modesto baby father pay for my Ticket send threw western union every weekend, I show the baby father how to parents are baby, but tbaby father wouldn’t listen to me, all he wanna do is drink beer get drunk an high, now mine U of cps feel that father no need in service but Only the mother wich they provide me service an not the father,father says he needed my Help cus he told me he can’t stand the baby cry,cus my baby keep crying alot,this month feb,25 10@m is court hearing,if you any concerns contact me (925)23eight-5nine32 my name tammy thank you

    • says

      So you’re in Modesto and he’s in Pittsburg CA (near Antioch)? Where is the case at? Stanislaus County?

      Usually by the time a case has reached the point of TPR (Termination of Parental Rights) it is hard to get your child back unless you’ve done everything on the service plan and have collected your evidence and are prepared to impress the judge at the hearing. Has your court appointed attorney prepared for court? Read this: Who Will Prepare Your Case? There is nobody at this website who can do the work for you… it is up to you, with the help of your attorney. If you want feedback and support from other parents, we have options: Fight CPS Message Board Forum . . . also our Facebook Group and Facebook Page. I’ve lived in both Modesto and Pittsburg, BTW… good luck to you!

  27. lacy says

    I am so glad i am alive! I am going thru some very traumatic events. .. i am not going to give up! My babies miss their mommy!!!! I miss them so much i can’t give up … i did for a minute i did self destruct to almost death…. but key word is almost. .. so here i stand barely alive, barely breathing broken hearted all beat up bruised scared bitter old tired and may i mention so dangerously misunderstood…. TIME TO PROVE MYSELF.. I LOVE U KIDS!! Mommys coming!! I PRAY FOR STRENGTH.. PLEASE GOD. SHOW ME THE WAY!

  28. Lucinda Bedwell says

    Along with attending a Bible Believing church with uplifting music; nothing has helped me through losing my children and every other tough time in my life is reading Psalms and Proverbs from the King James Bible. fbnradio.org has beautiful music and uplifting messages 24/7

  29. Elisa Marie (Cosgrove) Breitenbach says

    Linda Jo Martin What a truly heartfelt gift to all working through the pain and all we have lost in this WAR. The State makes such a WAR ZONE for our families. It was almost 30 years ago for my family but it changed us in ways I could never put into words. I will return with words of hope soon because I am at work. May God Bless You for reaching out to the broken hearts bring hope to all! XOX

  30. Kristen says

    I used my depression to my advantage by turning it into anger. Every time I started feeling sad and crying I just told myself no I didnt do anything wrong. I got angry instead and that gave me the determination to fight against CPS to not let them get the better of me. I buried myself in researching the laws, in sifting through paperwork, in preparing for my court case. I turned every sad feeling I felt into motivation to get my kids back and prove they should not have been taken in the first place. It worked, we were so prepared, so knowledgeable of our rights, so ready to kick their butts and we won. So the next time your feeling sad and depressed, let it turn you into the savage beast you need to be to get your kids back. Dont cry, dont die, FIGHT for your babies. They need you!

  31. Denelle Beauchaine says

    Thank you! I had good friends who were there for me through it, and on the first Mother’s Day, I found a wonderful spiritual community that embraced me and gave me a chance to shine. Since losing my kids, I’ve served as a prayer chaplain. I’ve made cupcakes for charity. I got to be at the capitol when Minnesota passed marriage equality, and saw firsthand how change can happen. I sang back-up in a band doing punk and glam songs. I have a wonderful boyfriend, and he’s going to propose this year- I just want him to surprise me with the details.

    I’ve proven that I’m not worthless, incompetent, or undeserving. Someday soon, my kids will find me, and know that there was never any reason for them to be kept away from me.

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