FightCPS does not advocate or condone violence or illiegal activities of any kind.
FightCPS is intended to help people learn enough about the law to be able to successfully defend themselves and their families against false accusations using legal documents and strategies that put parents in a stronger position when they go back to court.
For more information, see the FAQ.
Child Protective Services, CPS, has devastated and destroyed hundreds of thousands of families in America during the last thirty years leaving a trail of broken hearts, broken dreams, and shattered childhoods.
Rather than helping families, government agents have used unconstitutional laws in Juvenile Court to rip children away from their loving parents, break asunder God-given, natural, parent-child bonds, and adopt the children of the grieving out to others who profit financially with large monthly adoption subsidy payments.
Child Protective Services must be stopped! The law that started this, CAPTA, must be repealed. We must work tirelessly to inform the public of this very dangerous travesty of justice. We must keep faith knowing that if there is a God, there is an answer and a way to end this heartache.
Child Protective Services Agents - please come to your senses! Family destruction on false or trivial grounds is wrong, reprehensible, and inhumane.
Fosterers - be aware that for the money you get you are holding much-loved children away from their grieving families while the parents are forced to perform a service plan that is anything but a service to them. I call this hostage holding for the government. This is not kindness - to help misguided government agents destroy family relationships and break loving bonds.
CPS workers and fosterers - I ask that you now let the children of the innocent return to their homes where they are truly valued, adored, and loved by the parents God gave them.
Family rights are God-given rights. And they should not be ignored or postponed. Every moment these loving parents and children spend separated from one another is a torment beyond what anyone should ever have to bear.
It is unworthy of human dignity to allow this terrorism and torture of families to go on without saying something, speaking out, and trying to make a change.
Site mission: To provide information and support for families attacked by Child Protective Services and child welfare agents, especially those families facing false or trivial accusations of child abuse or neglect; and for researchers working to protect natural family rights.
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Fighting Child Protective Services False Accusations
December 1, 2008
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as of 8Sept.2008 our children have been taken from us. we only get to see them every 2 weeks for 2 hrs. due to the fact that our 18 mo. old suffered a fractured femer. they said it was abuse. wife & i have been together for almost 25 yrs.we are jumping through hoops for cps,they still want to forfiet our rights. does anyone know of a doctor that would help? or at least talk to our lawyer.need more info please write me ill be glad to give more detail.boilerleadman@aol.com
Comment by jeff — December 1, 2008 @ 8:17 pm
Google brittle bone disease.
You are not the first to have gone through this.
Join the members forum.
Maggie
Comment by MaggieC — December 1, 2008 @ 8:41 pm
P.S. where are you located? I would be willing to speak to your attorney. I am a paralegal and will do research pro bono.
Comment by MaggieC — December 1, 2008 @ 8:42 pm
Maggie, Are you in CA?
Comment by Sam — December 2, 2008 @ 10:08 am
I am a college freshman doing a research paper on spanking and came across this website in my research. I am so sorry that you are going through this Jeff. I can’t imagine
Comment by Stephanie — December 2, 2008 @ 1:13 pm
Sam,
No, I am in NY
Comment by MaggieC — December 2, 2008 @ 1:27 pm
Hello,
My children were taken from me last Oct.I am now in the last stages of getting them back,As soon as the case is dismissed I want to start the process of suing them.The county had no concrete evidence that I was neglecting my children or any thing else,It was here say from my husbands ex-wife who left the state with his two kids and we don’t know where they are now.So anyway if someone is willing to help me I would really appreciate it.I have proof of everything there is know way I can lose this one with a good lawyer on my side.The social worker was even a good friend of the ex-wife.
Lshll29@yahoo.com
Comment by Lshll29 — December 2, 2008 @ 4:14 pm
Hello I am looking for some help. I was directed in this direction. I am a mom of 3 special needs children. 3 boys, they have autism, my two oldest have adhd, my two youngest have receptive/expressive language disorder, and my youngest is due for a bi polar test next year..ages 4, 5, and 7. I have had cps come to my house 9months ago at my old address for bein accused of having a messy house..they came did what they needed and then closed the case. I moved a few months afterward because of a toxic mold situation, have not been in my new place for a week and they came back saying they got reports of a messy house again…well seeing as I have just moved it didn’t have time ta put everything away. well I got that all taken care of and they didn’t make a case or plan for that one. Wel fine few months roll by and go and behold cps comes back two weeks ago stating they were called because someone said I was physicaly abusing and hitting my 7yr child. I do not hit my children. The worker then said she didn’t find any abuse in the house hold and said she will refer me to a homecleaning person to come help clean my home..I admit I am not the best house keeper but that wasn’t what the report was about..anyway I got a leter in the mail stating that no abuse was found and it was ruled out. I was happy,,for a few days anyways,,go and behold two days ago two cps workers not one came to my house. sorry trailer…and say they are making a family plan to get me started with the housecleaning deal. I said ok(guess I shouldn’t have huh) They took info down(mind you they already had this) and said they will be back. They came back on dec 2nd at about 5pm with papers..The papers state that I have hit my 7yr in a vital body area and continued to do so, and that I lack parebting skills, inability to change behavior, and lack of maintaining safe home inviroment and so on…also have me attend the home cleaning, also a pysc evaluation, the boys to have a pysc evaluation and go to parenting classes….Now what’s wrong with this picture? I have gotten the first paper saying the abuse was ruled out. Then this.. what can I do about this? I need help. I do not have an income,,my boys do,they get ssi.
Comment by Tracy — December 3, 2008 @ 12:27 am
My caseworker came by yesterday. She wanted to take pictures of my children and my home. I finished with my chemical dependancy counselor last week with great reports that I have been treating my alcoholism. She said they were closing the case, “unless we get another report and have to reopen it”. I was told by her supervisor that once it was closed it was closed for good. This woman can’t admit that even though I am a recovering alcoholic my husband and I have been good parents, that she has nothing to hold over me anymore. I didn’t let her in, I told her that I was done with this invasion of my privacy and my rights. Besides, I was in the middle of making dinner, doing laundry and had told my 14 year old son to clean his room, I’m sure she could have twisted something around enough to keep this open. I did have my kids come outside, woke my four year old from a nap and let her take a picture. This has been going on for 9 months and I’m so ready for it to be over, however these people haven’t heard the last of me.
Comment by Rachel — December 3, 2008 @ 8:53 am
Rachel, you did the right thing by standing your ground and stating your right to privacy. DHS will stay a part of your family’s life only as long as you let them. If the initial investigation did not deem immediate court intervention, then you were probably coerced into “voluntary” classes, etc. Caseworkers, generally, look for flaws instead of the positive aspects of a family. Every time you “volunteer” to something suggested by DHS, you are making a paper trail of self admitted problems. Ask your counselor to sign a statement of your progress. Do not let DHS know anything about the letter. Be polite and assertive to DHS, and inform them that their services are no longer needed nor welcome. Remember, you are their client. Stop using their services if they are disruptive, destructive, illegal, immoral, unethical, and traumatic. Also, inform others of what you’ve learned. Because, when DHS leaves your family alone, they will replace you with another family. Someday, it might be your own children or grandchildren that has DHS knocking at the door. Stay polite. Stand your ground. Stand up for your family rights. It’s been over two years since I wised up to DHS and brushed them out of my life. I’ll never forget the unnecessary trauma that was caused. I’ll never stop informing others of the deceptive ways of DHS. OKDHS.org gives Oklahoma’s DHS Policies and Procedures. Very informative of how/why some caseworkers manipulate the situation. DHS started with good intentions, however, as with any corporation, the records are sugar coated/doctored to ensure that the corporation appears to beneficial to all, regardless of the reality.
Comment by daaronad — December 3, 2008 @ 6:20 pm
Lshll29, I’ve learned a lot since my encounter with DHS. Research your state DHS Policies and Procedures. It should be available via the web. Do the same with your state statutes. In Oklahoma there is a “tort” statute that prevents anyone from being sued as long as the accusation was made “in good faith.” In Oklahoma, DHS uses anonymous reporters. It is stated in OKDHS Policies and Procedures, and they will not be identified. Learn your states laws/statutes and cross reference with DHS Policies and Procedures. As one attorney told me, “We are all retained by DHS and we have to make a living in this town.” Talk to people. Find an attorney out of the district who will work for you. Do not waste $$ on one who says to wait and see what DHS is going to do. Most attorneys work for $$ rather than for justice. Be sure that you are well informed of the law and DHS Policies and Procedures when you confer with an attorney. That will save you wasted time and $$. Read the statutes for yourself. Don’t just hear what someone tells you it says. I wasted over $10,000, directly on an attorney, who knew less of the statutes, concerning my case, than I did. I wasted $30,000 to recoup and learn from my ignorance while dealing with DHS and attorneys. I offered a State Representative(attorney) $30,000 to take my case. Attorneys don’t like to take on DHS because they are biting the hand that feeds them. I researched the law. I researched DHS Policies and Procedures. DHS is protected, by statute, where otherwise, their actions would be felonies. The last $30,000 I wasted was well spent, tenfold+. I learned how and why DHS, and many others, get away with the atrocities that they do. I will try to prevent as many families that I can from becoming victims of DHS and their cohorts as I can. I tired of the DHS game. I brought my children home, against DHS recommendations, nearly two years ago. Research first, then act. It will save you wasted time and money. Then, go after them.
Comment by daaronad — December 3, 2008 @ 8:21 pm
Thank you very much for this wonderful website. I rate it as Excellent. I will recommend this website to my friends also i wish you success in the future!
Comment by Westminster — December 3, 2008 @ 8:42 pm
Tracy, any time a DHS worker comes to your door with an allegation of abuse or neglect, simply say, “You joking, right?” Smile and close the door. Do not say anything further. If they continue knocking, call the police and have them removed. They are intruding. If they have the police with them at the time, ask for a warrant. If no warrant is given to you, insist that the police officer remove himself and DHS from your home. With your children on SSI, doctors and such are mandated reporters, by law, and are liable to legal action if they do not report any signs of abuse or neglect to DHS. That can include a bruise of any sort or a fib told by a child. They can lose their license if they don’t inform DHS of such things. Unfortunately, your going to have to get used to DHS accusations. Ignore them. Do not respond to accusations. Get the help that your children need, that is offered through the state, but don’t respond to any accusations.
Comment by daaronad — December 3, 2008 @ 8:50 pm
My name is Tracy & I am in need myself, but my case is a bit tricky as this now involves 2 states.. Long story short I let my 15 year old daughter do a few school years with my x husband in Missourii, I am in California as my new husband is a active duty Marine and we were posted here at a base. My daughter called me and told me she had called CPS due to the fact her faather had tried to sexualy abuse her in August. I talked to the investigating worker explained to her I was aware of the call my daughter made, my contact number & that I would get my daughter if they removed her from his home This happened on a Friday, needless to say they took her from her home and did not contact me nor could I find her until that Monday. Before I could do anything at all state of Missourii took full custidy now I am jumping through hoops to get her returnd home as we all can guess that is not going well. At the last court hearing this Oct the judge ordered what they call a interstate transfer case done on me & my husband to see if we were safe enough to send her here & even with that they may not release her. I have done nothing wrong but yet my daughter is being held from me. This seems wrong to me, I as of todat have e mailed both the congressmen in Missourii & Ca. to see what kind of responce I can get, I am wondering myself if I can sue the state for this mess, I always understood that the states goal was to keep the child with one of the parents at all cost , I am now seeing that this is a joke! My 15 year old daughter has even stated that she wants to be with her mother but yet is not being allowed to.I always here that state is low on money as there are many children in need of care so explain to me just why my child is there useing up funds from the state when she shouldnt be there at all as she has a good mother & place to be.. I am now in fear that I may loose my daughter completely & I can not let that happen. Any help advice would be great.
Thank you,
Comment by Tracy — December 3, 2008 @ 10:59 pm
Maggie what a coincident , I know a maggie who is a paralegal works for the CPS lawyer Robert Powell in San Josa , Ca , if you want talk to her, her # is 408-553-0200. by the way Robert Powell helped us in our lawsuit against County and city for the unlawfull removal of our kids , we got $160 thousand DOLLARS.
Comment by Sam — December 4, 2008 @ 12:16 am
I think I have come across his name. I am glad that you won. I would love to read the decision. Is it published?
And, I would love to speak with your Maggie.
I can’t get over these “laws”. What many don;t realize is that there are safeguards in the laws but the average person doesn’t know this. It is important, in my humble opinion, to retain a good lawyer from the get go.
Comment by MaggieC — December 4, 2008 @ 5:20 am
MaggieC - I agree, these laws are ridiculos! Too many loopholes. And what good is LAW if government employees are exempt from it.
I was however, glad to see the Feds approve the law to require CPS to seek family members prior to placing kids in foster care. But the more I thought about it, the more I was sure that again, CPS employees will not adhere to the new law; just go around it and say “we did try, but found no family suitable or willing”.
In my state, it is already required they locate family 1st. With my son’s case, they gave away his 4 kids to different foster homes instead of even looking for us, the grandparents.
Now mind you, all the grand kids knew our phone # and address, and in fact gave CPS the info to call us. Yet we did not find out what was going on until 5 days after they took our grandchildren! Even then, we had to fight for 2 months to get the first 2 in our care, and 17 more months before we got the other 2 out of foster care.
There is something wrong with this picture. If the state really doesn’t have the money to spend on foster care, then WHY didn’t they just hand them over with our clear history and willingness to raise them at our own expense?
Bottom line is exactly what daarond says….MONEY!!!!!! Keep the money laundring system moving. It’s Job Security for the entire crew from case workers to cops to judges to lawyers and pyshs etc. A host of people collect when we lose our kids to abuse known as “foster care”.
Comment by Cheryl — December 4, 2008 @ 3:17 pm
hello to all and my prayers are with you. I am interested in finding anyone in Indiana that is also having problems with the cps. Our governor hired 800 more people in his last term to kidnap our children and now he is getting ready to start a new term. We RE-ELECTED him! We need to group together to fight this travesty and I would like to know if there are any other groups that have started in Indiana. Please email me.
Comment by beth — December 5, 2008 @ 8:11 am
To Cheryl:
Please note. There is a national organization, founded by attorneys that has had a great track record in litigating against individual state CPS agencies.
They are now stating that they WILL ACCEPT INDIVIDUAL CASES FROM INDIVIDUALS WHO HAVE BEEN PLACED WRONGLY IN FOSTER CARE. I would assume that this would also mean that CPS needs to make an effort to contact KIN.
Suggest anyone with issues with Foster Care Contact these attorneys. They have sued and won against
NJ, GA, and numerous other states ( around 15)
This means that they are familiar with the statues and administrative regulations which guide the individual state CPS agencies.
Take a look at:
http://www.childrensrights.org
Particularly if you are kin who had to have CPS take 17 months to place family with you.
Something is wrong.
You will have to read the Website carefully, since the notion of their taking on individual cases is new.
It seems to mostly affect those who have been wrongly placed in * stranger foster care* or those children who have been harmed while in FC.
Apparently CPS pulls this trick often with unsuspecting families. And NO ONE has called the state agencies to task.
Think about it. With no oversight, CPS can give kids to anyone who needs the income.
For example, CT has a notorious case where a caseworker has been charged with murder in the case of her foster child.
Also, law enforcement often gets FC placements.
If you do talk to them, please give us feedback on how your case proceeded with them.
Thanks, Best wishes. F.
Comment by Fern — December 5, 2008 @ 8:46 am
maggieC sorry it took me so long to get back on. We live in Texas, east of Dallas.what our lawyer is tring to find & we are to is a doctor that would confirm our story or that it is fesable what happen to our son,that he fell off our bed.our lawyers name is Charles Paternostro 972 740 1456. thank you for your help . jeff
Comment by jeff — December 6, 2008 @ 1:34 pm
This is a prayer request for 16 year old Kyle of San Joaquin County, CA who recently escaped from “foster care” after 4+ years of horrible abuse and torture at the hands of Caren Ramirez of Citrus Heights and Kelly Layne Lau and husband Michael Schumacher, of Tracy, CA. I also ask that you pray for his 19 year old brother, Austin, who is trying to help Kyle in any way; that he remain steadfast in his strength and love for his brother and may they both receive the help, compassion, understanding and love they both so deserve. Thank you!! This story just broke my heart and again shows the failure of CPS and the system.
Comment by charlotte reyes — December 6, 2008 @ 1:52 pm
Jeff, join the members forum and post there and or send a private message to me.
There are doctors who have come forward to help those falsely accused
I and others on the members forum might be able to help.
Comment by MaggieC — December 6, 2008 @ 8:20 pm
It’s been nearly a weak since any comments posted on this site. My other sites have the same result. Even my e-mail, which I’m used to getting 10 to 20 emails a day. I wonder.
Comment by daaronad — December 13, 2008 @ 10:05 pm
Hello, I am here seeking advice and help. I have been falsely accused as well as my husband, of physically abusing my teen stepdaughter. I have been raising her full time since she was 8 yrs old, and her biological mother is not involved in her life(her choice) and is currently in prison in Pennsylvania on drug charges, she has no custody at all but does still have supervised visitation. My daughter has a history of mental health issues for the last 3 years and has been hospitalized twice in psychiatric instituitions for treatment of clinical depression. When she got into trouble at school about 3 yrs ago, she could not deal with everyione being upset about the situation and that she would face consequences at school and at home, and tried to kill herself by ingesting a large amount of Tylenol. This was a culmination of a pattern of this child not being able to deal with consequences of her actions for a long time (meaning she gets a privelege taken away or grounded or etc) A few months prior to the school incident she was grounded and decided she would try to sneak out of the house by going on the roof and JUMPING off and figured she would walk to her friends house. She was 13. She broker her left ankle to bits and now has two metal plates and 6 pins in it due to this. I spent the night in the hospital with her during her surgery.
We found out she had been cutting herself and mutilating herself. She had been trying to self pierce herself with upholstry needles from my sewing box. She was putting gauges in her ears (she forms keloid scars too and now has many due to this).
We were told she MAY have bipolar disorder but she’s too young for a definate diagnosis. She has become very very defiant in the last 1 year since her best friend, age 17, lives with her 22 yr old sister and has little to no supervision and lives her teen life as she pleases.
Our dtr has begun screaming at us she will not do this and will not do that and we cannot make her. she stated to us this last week that she hates us both and wants out of our house and will do whatever she can to get out. we wouldnt fight emancipation for her, but she is not ready - cannot handle her money- makes poor choices - lets her grades bottom out then picks them up somewhat at the last minute-is late/no show for work at times.
We worry she is going to end up in some very hard life situations. We love her and want her to be sucessful and go to college. She has become angry we will not let her leave and move out and give her money for an apartment for her and her friend. We are strapped financially and due to the constant turmoil and stress in our lives I have had to leave my job because I cannot concentrate and I worry I will make a mistake (I am a nurse practitioner).
We only want what is best for her, but she sees it as we are crazy, over-controlling, and ridiculous and harass her - her words. She has stolen money from us, my mother (our nanny), and my sister/brother in law. We catch her up all night prowling the house for god knows what reason. She tries to smoke on our property. She used to go up on the roof (steep roof) by going out her bedroom window and smoke there - leaving butts on our roof ! we worried she would burn the house down or fall off the roof. We caught her on the roof in a night of freezing rain. She has used drugs in the past but a recent hair drug test came back negative which was a relief. We have had her under constant, consistent psychiatric care and counseling. We have been to counseling with her. She is on probation for truancy. She often violates the conditions of her probation contract she signed with my husband and the judge, and we notify the judge and he poo-poos her and tells us that we are driving her away. (she’s not robbing banks or anything - we are talking lying to where she is, ignoring curfew, poor grades, etc) We only agreed to the probation because we hoped it would set her on a straighter path.
She is on 3 psychiatric medications which we administer to her daily and we are still paying off $ 4,300.00 of her last psychiatric hospital admission that insurance would not cover over 1 1/2 yrs ago. She was not ready to go home one admission and we were told our options were come and pick her up and go to a community resource or keep her in the hospital until the doctor feels she is safe to come home. We chose the latter, knowing full well we would incur a large bill. The bill came to $8,000 for the uncovered portion. Prior to her coming home, she was very angry that we kept her there and flew into a severe rage. She ripped off all her clothes and threw things around. She made a hit list of ppl she wanted to hurt or kill, and on the top of the list she wrote my husband, her father. She told the doctor she was having homicidal and suicidal thoughts as well as CANNIBALISTIC thoughts. They sedated her, and added a fourth medication to her plan. I was very very fearful of her coming back into our home full time, my son was 4 yrs old. I was told by the social worker at the hospital that I was being too worried and they were “only thoughts” and that my daugher had not acted upon them . I felt that admitting such socially unacceptable thoughts as cannibalism was not a good sign and should be treated very seriously. I say this from a clinical standpoint. I yielded and brought her home with my husband. My only option was to help her or leave the family and divorce my husband and take my son. I have only wanted to be with my family, so this was not an option to me. I was under the most emotional and mental diress I had ever experienced. I was cautious of her but things seemed to improve.
We take her to her appointments consistently as our jobs allow. We have both had warnings from our jobs that we are taking too much time off. When my daughter came home from the psychiatric hospital in summer 2007, she stated she wanted to run away. My husband took a Family Medical Leave for 3 months, to stay at home, so she would never be left alone during the day, to take care of her. She seemed so much improved. We enrolled her in a new school away from the group of drug using friends she had. She didnt like it at first but then said the school was ok. She made new friends.
We have consistently told our daughter since an early age that she has these expectations: do your chores weekly (currently her chores are doing her laundry and feeding/cleaning the cats), keep a consistent B average at least in school, be where you say you are going to be, and dont use drugs or smoke or bring those things into our home, and be responsible with your job (meaning show up, keep track of your schedule)… These are the “horrible” rules she lives under here. We feel they are basic expectations for a teenager who is part of a family.
I have always been softer on her than my husband. I have been manipulated by her many times. She has admitted to me that she lies to me and uses me to get what she wants (nice huh ?) She says she loves me but continues this pattern. I finally about 2 months ago told this child that I refuse to entertain her lying behavior any longer and will operate by evidence only. If she smells like smoke, I dont ask her if she was smoking and get a lie or a verbal fight, I simply give her a consequence for smoking. I told her I will no longer be manipulated by you to get out of consequences or go against what I feel is best for you. I told her do not ask me to fight your fight or plead your case with your father if there is something you want (he is stricter than I with her). I told her legally, I have little authority over her but that I WILLINGLY take care of her as my child.
Since I have stopped being her flunky, this child is getting very defiant with me now as well as my husband. She screams and yells at us and tells us she will do what she wants. We had searched her room for drugs/parephenalia when we suspected drug use again (we used a clinical guide of 34 signs a teen may be using drugs) and thankfully found nothing, but we did find a note written in her own writing stating that she was having sex with a 19 year old man ……a man that we told her she was not allowed to date. My daughter has been denying that she was seeing him. My husband talked to this man and told him to stay away, that she is underage. My dtrs therapist told her to make a better choice in a boyfriend closer to her age. After shown the note we read my dtr flew into a rage and called us assholes and that she hates us both. She stated she would do anything to get out of this house “please just throw me out” we refuse to do that. she then told us “I have a plan” we asked her what does that mean ? and she refused to speak to us.
This brings us to now. She was screaming at me to shut up and leave her alone and sat on the couch to watch tv. I came into the room and told her she is NOT going to speak like that to me, and to give me the TV remote and go to her room. She refused I asked again and told her to go to her room. She yelled NO. I reached for the remote and began to pull it from her hand. She brought up her other arm forcefully against mine causing my fingernails to hit her skin, but nothing else. My husband had walked into the room and saw this whole thing with his own eyes. She stomped up to her room.
the next day at school, she reports to a teacher that she was ATTACKED by me, for no reason and shows her arm with fingernail dig marks in it and bruises on her forearm. The police come to the school and so did CPS. My husband and I came to pick her up from school, with our 5 year old boy in tow, and were told to remain in the school office. The CPS workers told me my son could not go home with me and my husband. They told me that if my daughter went to foster care that my son would to, and I said where are you wanting to take my daughter, and they said to downtown Detroit, juvenille hall. I thought my heart would stop beating right there. My mother came and picked my son up, but not before they grilled her. We went to an emergency temporary placement hearing the next morning. The judge informed me, as I had tears streaming down my face, that CPS had told me wrong, and there was NO REASON currently that my boy could not remain in my home as NO FORMAL CHARGES had been laid yet. We go to a CPS team meeting tomorrow am with my dtr present, and then a preliminary court hearing on Thursday the 18th, to determine if there is probable cause for a charge. I gave a statement to the police that came to my home and they told me I was not formally charged yet for the criminal complaint, and that would be up to the prosecuter and they would notify me.
I have never been in court before for anything. I have never been charged, accused, or anything except for a traffic ticket. I cannot sleep. My son is distressed. My husband is not sleeping either. He has had to get more time off work for these things.
We dont know what to do. We believe our daughter actually injured herself to make this complaint, now that we realize the things she was saying to us. She is also accusing me of givning preferential treatment to our son over her.(sounds trivial but CPS starting quizzing me why i took my son to his therapy appt and she had hers rescheduled - well my son was having a NEW problem at school, yelling he will NOT DO THIS OR THAT….I feel due to what my dtr is displaying all the time) and my dtr was going to be take to her appt by my husband, who found out he couldnt get the time off work unexpectedly. Her appt was rescheduled for dec 20th.)
Any words of advice for us ? I have complete detailed documentation of the innumerable incidents with our daughter over the last 2 1/2 years and a 1 1/2 year calendar showing all the appointments we took her to. i Have bill receipts for her medical care. I have the probation contract she signed. My daughter states she took photos of her bruises on her arms from my husband last summer. I have never seen anything on her and I have no idea where she is getting this from. I have never seen my husband lay a hand on her. He has had to hold her arms down when he caught her digging a razor blade into her arm.
what does anyone suggest ? We are meeting with them tomorrow. We will let her go live with her grandmother on her mother’s side in Florida if she wants to, and CPS is agreeable. We dont want this, but we cannot keep going on with this, our son is suffering from it. We do not want to fight with our daughter, but she is making it clear she doesnt want to be with us.
We were told by the court appointed attorney to bring all evidence we had of our daugher’s mental troubles and how we have consistently tried to help her with us to the team meeting and that the complaint may be dismissed, but if it is not, then it may be advisable to secure our own attorney.
thank you for any comments you can give, and for reading this long post
Comment by Donna G — December 14, 2008 @ 7:47 am
Please join the members forum. Go to the home page and click on members forum.
Be very very careful at the team meeting. SIGN NOTHING.
Listen and say that you will take all under advisement with your attorney.
SIGN NOTHING.
If you can get onto the members forum. Send a private message to me.
MaggieC
Comment by MaggieC — December 14, 2008 @ 8:39 am
Donna:
You have done all the right things.
How old is the teen?
Please remember that it is the GOOD parent who feels guilty who may be intimidated by CPS.
In some states, teens may be able to flee mental health placements after the age of 14.
I think you have lined up your ducks, and it seems that you and hubby are on same page. All good.
Maggie C is giving you needed advice which should be implemented.
Is she in Special Ed?
Evidence of illegal drug use by her?
Is she on Court-ordered probation? Or were you using the term informally?
If Court mandated, the PO should telephone conference, too at this meeting. I would try to postpone till the P:O. can be informed.
Best. F.
Comment by Fern — December 14, 2008 @ 9:09 am
Fern, my daughter is 16 years old and will turn 17 in Feb 2009.
she is on court ordered probation due to repeatedly lying to the principal last May when she skipped school. The community police officer assigned to the school talked to my husband and the principal and stated he could ticket her for creating a disturbance and truancy and get her into the court probation system, my husband and the principal felt this was a good idea and might just scare her straight. so she meets with the probation officer and judge every month or so. My husband is present at all the hearings. I cant always be there because someone has to watch our son and I dont want him going to that courtroom. The problem has been recently that my dtr, who is very very manipulative, is crying all the time to her probation officer that we are crazy and overbearing and unreasonable parents. We report every violation of her probation terms, to the P.O. and judge …even though we feel like silly fools because it is for things like coming home late, lying where she was, etc when there are kids out there who are stealing cars, etc. the judge then tells my husband several times you are driving your dtr away from you Mr. G, and my husband replies we are trying to teach her personal responsibility. the judge is a liberal I believe, but that is neither here nor there.
I believe the P.O. has been informed by the school because all of this was reported to CPS during the school day. Three days prior to this incident last Thursday, we called the P.O. and told her we were having our daughter drug tested and were experiencing escalating aggressive screaming matches from our child that she was defiant and would not listen to us and wanted out of our home. We TOLD the probation officer we would sign the emancipation papers but we feel its not in our dtrs best interest. The P.O. asked us a few things and stated that there was no way the judge was going to emancipate our dtr based on her lack of maturity handling her finances,etc. We begged the probation officer for help and referrals and stated we dont know what to do, and we do not want her to run away. The judge also instructed our dtr the last time he saw her that she was NOT to run away and doing so would be a direct violation of his court orders. The judge and P.O. told us to stay in counseling, which we have done, and await the drug test results. If positive, we might be able to get our dtr treatment in a residential facility for a while. If negative, the only option was foster care and that would be if our daughter agreed to it (we were pretty sure she wont because her whole goal is to be able to come and go as she pleases).
The home drug test we did came back positive for cocaine and marijuana. We took her to a police reommended lab and had another urine and a hair test done for 190.00 out of our pocket. It came back negative last Thursday. That was the day she was screaming at me, when I tried to talk to her about the fact she had not done her laundry in over 3 weeks, not even her McDonald’s uniform (eeww!)….that is what sparked her screaming at me to shush up just shush up and leave me alone i dont want to listen to you or talk to you !!! After she stormed up to her room when I took the remote from her (and allegedly attacked her) I did inform her that her drug tests were negative and that was a relief and that she was officially off grounding.
We had literally begged the P.O. to help us with some type of solution for this situation because our daughter is becoming increasingly more volitile in her arguments with us. She is normally a fairly passive person.
I have always maintained a good line of communication with our daughter’s grandmother in Florida (her bio mom’s mother), and I have over 2 1/2 yrs worth of emails printed that I sent to this grandmother constantly updating her on our dtrs life events. Her grandmother has been helpful in trying to get through to her via the phone and we have sent her to viisit down in FL on school breaks. I emailed the grandmother earlier this week as to what has been going on in the home and with our daughter and have not received a reply so I dont know if she read them or not. Our dtr has tried calling her grandmother and lying about us before. Her grandmother knows her granddtr has problems with lying. The only reason we have not let our dtr go live with her grandmother is two fold: one, her grandmother is a recovered alcoholic living with a man that apparently shot the grandmother’s ear off part way during an argument in 2001 - the grandmother maintains it was just a misunderstanding - and the grandmother was just diagnosed with Lupus and is not feeling well. Her grandmother also works full time and is gone all day. Her grandmother is also now taking care of one of her other grandchildren (not my husband’s child) who is in trouble himself…he is 14 and is my daughters half-brother.
we dont want to fight with our daughter. we love her but this whole situation cannot go on.
Also, the judge yesterday told me that I was told incorrectly by the CPS workers and that in the worst case scenario if our son were required to be placed ANYWHERE, he would be placed with my mother and father and not in foster care with persons unknown to him.
We were asked if any other family mmebers could take our daughter until the investigation was complete and we stated to the judge that yes someone could, but that my daughter will likely refuse to go because she wants to go stay with her girlfriend. The judge agrreed that this would all cause further turmoil and strife and ordered that my daughter stay in the juvenille hall this weekend and that we were granted LIBERAL UNSUPERVISED visitation. My husband works today and we are seeing our daughter at this “team meeting” tomorrow so we thought it best if we let her cool down today and if she has to remain there we will visit her all next week as much as we can. We are preparing ourself for the fact our dtr may refuse to talk to us. She is a very very angry teen. However, being a skilled manipulator, she acts very passive and tearful with everyone except us.
Comment by Donna G — December 14, 2008 @ 9:39 am
I have a question:
If your ex has gained custody of your only child because of the CPS involvement, and then you hear that the child is doing poorly at school (all Fs), tortures animals, kills pets (cats), shoots small animals with his gun.
What would you do? where would you contact? Who would you report?
Comment by help needed — December 14, 2008 @ 12:43 pm
Donna,
You need to have the charges deemed unfounded. But, in my experience, CPS indicates everyone even if the child is not taken into custody.
If you are indicated, your name goes on to a state child abuse register which may interfere with your employment.
Agree to nothing at the team meeting, that is my advice. Listen, take all under consideration. Say as very little as possible.
Comment by MaggieC — December 14, 2008 @ 6:23 pm
Donna, I’m so sorry for your situation. It really sounds like you & your husband are doing the very best you all can under these circumstances. Is your stepdaughter on psych meds? If so, is she consistantly taking them? I truely am against medicating teens for the most part, but you’ve got a very volitile situation going on. Please take her to YOUR doctors, not ones in cahoots with CPS. My own 15 yr old is on a sort of probation for underage drinking. Yes, she does need consequences for it, but the cops didn’t even give her a breathylizer & she wasn’t driving or even in a car when they got busted. I loathe this Nazi backwards hick town we live in. Anyways, sad to say, my situation isn’t getting better because my daughter still likes to party & hang out with friends. She’s only got one more chance left in the youth program she’s in. This has been the WORST year ever. My hands are tied because my mom & her partner have custody of all 3 of our kids. I just want people to know the truth & i’m not shutting up about the evils of CPS.
Comment by Susan — December 14, 2008 @ 9:33 pm
Susan, yes our dtr is on psych meds…3 different ones to be exact. This is our first real brush with CPS and our dtr has been in consistent mental health treatment for the last 2 3/4 years to doctors and therapists within the Henry Ford system in Detroit, which is outstanding for pediatric mental health services. The fact she is on three meds does worry me, but we are told she needs them. Since they stopped her risperdal, a 4th med, in Sept 2008, her behavior is increasingly aggressive verbally towards us, when confronted with any consequence for her behavior. We have NEVER been told by any therapist or doctor that we are treating her inappropriately by giving her consequences for her bad behavior. Her psychiatrist told us that her diagnosis (depression, and POSSIBLE bipolar disorder) is NOT an excuse for bad or risky behavior. The CPS rep. on Friday asked me “mrs. G haven’t you ever considered that maybe your dtrs behavior is beyond her control because of her diagnosis ?” I told her no I have never been told that from either her therapist or psychiatrist. I have been told that her behaviors are her CHOICE and my husband and I reinforce this to her at home.
We hope our dtr will talk with us at this meeting tomorrow. We love her and want her in our life, but this entire scenario cannot continue this way, everyone involved is hurting or being hurt, most of all in the long run, our 5 year old son.
thank you for your support and please keep us in your prayers.
Comment by Donna G — December 14, 2008 @ 11:41 pm
I forgot to add that yes our dtr takes her meds regularly because me and my husband administer everything to her. we dont let her medicate herself because she will forget to take doses. I have her pill box set up for the week and I keep it locked up in the cabinet. Everything she could possibly harm herself with is locked up and has been so since she came home from the psych hospital in July 2007, although my dtr tells me I am being ridiculous …yet we found her mutilating herself by cutting her legs with jagged marks as recently as this last summer, over 20-30 cuts per thigh, and then trying to leave the house in short shorts to walk around the neighborhood like that !
yikes !
pray pray pray for us !
Comment by Donna G — December 14, 2008 @ 11:46 pm
Donna, please let us know what happens at your meeting. You might want to register at our message board to do this. I feel for your in your struggle with your teenager. Not too long ago I had teenagers at home. My teenage daughter was a handful and I ended up letting her move out at sixteen. You might consider the positive effects of doing that. Peace at home, a better behaved five-year-old etc. . . it is difficult to help a sixteen year old girl who doesn’t want your help. My daughter is now nineteen and doing excellent and living in another state. Letting her go at age sixteen was the right thing to do. Sometimes it is better to let them learn on their own. For example, if you don’t wash your work uniform then eventually you get fired. Life lessons are the best.
My major concerns with your case are (1) that your son should live with you, and (2) your name may be placed on the central index and this may interfere with your employment as a n.p.. Those are major concerns. What happens to your daughter… I think it would be better to detach and let her learn from her own mistakes in rejecting the care you were giving her.
Just my opinion… hope it helps. Right now you’re still wrapped up in her drama. I hope the situation is resolved soon as you deserve much more peace of mind than what you’ve been given lately.
Comment by Linda — December 15, 2008 @ 4:10 am
Donna,
I responded to your message with my telephone nbr. Please call me.
Comment by MaggieC — December 15, 2008 @ 6:33 am
Donna,
I have heard your scenario repeated ad nauseum.
You are blameless. Hubby is involved.
You are being manipulated by an out of control CPS system. I assume that in Michigan, CPS employment is COVETED.
Once CPS enters the picture, teens may find themselves in GROUP HOMES.
Perhaps she would like that. ; (
As to threats against son. Tape record.
Michigan has a long standing female atty who litigated against FIA ( their previous name)
I believe her name was Janet Frederick??
Linda tells you sign onto Message Boards.
Good advice. Michigan has been pulling this for 25 years. I know b/c my gf had contacts with FIA 25 yrs ago.
Also, she has only 1 more year. Give her a taste of the GROUP HOME AND SHE WILL BE EAGER TO LEAVE.
Also, it is very interesting to note when FIA conducts their *census* of a breakdown of just who is involved in their system.
Quotas need to be filled and sometimes this plays a part in who CPS selects for further involvement.
POSTPONE, DELAY, DENY.
But the PO is NEEDED, ALSO.
Get back to us.
Best. F.
Comment by Fern — December 15, 2008 @ 7:36 am
I thank God for CPS in the state where I lived. I was moved out of the home and was able to become a productive and happy person. I didn’t realize the vicious cycle of anger and abuse I was suffering from because my parent couldn’t understand my behavior. But others out there did. Whether I was right or my mother was right, the best thing to do was get me out of the bad cycle. I think you parents out there should think a bit less selfishly, and understand that you don’t always understand, and that maybe the best thing you could do is just “let go.”
Comment by immbas — December 15, 2008 @ 10:34 am
immbas,
First, I’m glad CPS helped you, and hope you have a wonderful life.
But I have to take issue with your insistence that parents just “let go”. I hope you understand that in the US, people are innocent until proven guilty and that false accusations are levelled quite frequently.If you ever have children, you will understand why a loving parent can’t just “let go”.
There are many, many parents who are innocent, who are guilty only of being poor or of having vindictive relatives. And even for those who are guilty, I for one hope they get the help they need and their gamily is brought back together.
Comment by Gideon MacLeish — December 15, 2008 @ 7:00 pm
Hello all. We survived. Family intact. CPS got a good eyeful of our dtrs manipulative defiant behavior this weekend at the shelter she was staying in temporarily. The CPS worker who was all over us last friday, totally shifted gears and was all over her about her lack of working with us, keeping to her treatment plan, etc and about her attitude, her defiance, her not doing basic hygiene with laundry and her belongings….etc all our concerns. CPS rep was not happy with our daughter having given her half stories and untruthful information about many things I showed up with printed documentation for.
The grandmother in florida called CPS and stated she prayed about it all and doesnt want to take her….she is getting afraid of her behavior b/c its been erratic. No one in my extended family will take her because of the things that she has done to them multiple times (lying, manipulating, sneaky stuff, and stealing). My hubby’s mom is recovering from breast cancer and cannot take her and doesnt want to. No one else will take her. Our dtr was still being defiant at the team meeting. we told them we want what is best for her and we would like to take her home and get more intensive counseling for everyone….and CPS agreed that this is the most beneficial to all and we are to meet at court tomorrow and the CPS representative is going to plead to have the complaint dismissed contingent on us entering the family counseling and getting her weekly counseling visits. I cautioned them that we are in agreement with all this but every time her therapist is changed its like a blank slate for her to start a bunch of lying and manipulating with. I explained this in politically correct terms. They said we had to try because the doctor and therapist she currently sees are frequently overbooked. we agreed.
My husband and I hope something will get through to this child but are not very optimistic at this point. despite medications on a daily basis and biweekly therapy for over 2 1/2 years she has not improved much. We will do what it takes to try for the sake of our family.
CPS was actually more supportive to us than expected and we came out of the meeting much relieved. THe probation officer was actually quite critical of us and seemed to be working against us, and there was a “teen crisis” counselor there who was also of the same demeanor to us, they were obviously there as advocates for my dtr. The probation officer offered to buy my dtr taco bell for lunch because in the middle of this morning meeting there is my 16 yr old child nearly yelling out “when are they going to feed me ? I am hungry !!” The CPS rep. did not appear impressed with this behavior.
Do you think the probation officer’s behavior was a “conflict of interest” ?
It also came out during this meeting that apparently my dtr went to a house in our subdivision where a court recorder for the judge who oversees her probation case lives….and asked to call her probation officer from there because she was upset with us. What is this all about ? is this not some type of conflict of interest ? or could I do the same thing and show up on this woman’s doorstep and ask to use her phone to call the judge or probation officer and complain about my dtrs behavior ? (sorry some sarcasm there)
my dtr was very very wound up an interrupting a lot and crying and dramatic body language and all kinds of drama. The tears flowed all over. This is not new behavior when things do not go the way she likes. She begged everyone to let her come home right now !!! she said dont send me back to that shelter. we said it is not up to us.
CPS asked her what she was willing to do. she would not answer them and stated she didnt want to come home and listen to our rules. they asked us for our basic house rules - no smoking on our property, no drug use, come home when you say you will be home, be with who you say you are going out with, introduce us to your friends, keep a B average in school, clean your room once a week, do your own laundry, and feed the cats daily. do not go into our room, our purse or wallet, and our private things. go to work and keep track of your schedule responsibly. save 50% of your paycheck towards a car and insurance or college.
we feel these are reasonable requests for a teen in a family home. The teen counselor tried to intimidate us by telling us we were violating the law by direct depositing my dtrs paychecks into her bank account and having the money accessible only with our signature. We told her we were not violating Michigan law. She continued to press this issue and said “I’ve been through this many times” I reminded her that I read this information from the Michigan state website.
I also made it known that I had a Master’s degree just like their social worker did and have my own medical knowlege base of psychiatric illnesses to draw on experience from.
The whole thing about this is…..we would let her move out but she has no where to go ! and we are legally responsible for her and are afraid if she moves out now she will go willy nilly out there racking up credit card debt, medical bills, etc you name it and we’ll get held responsble for it because she is a minor.
She wants to be emancipated but they told her today that the judge would laugh at her request because of the poor decisions she has been making in not saving money and has no arrangements to go anywhere.
She doesnt want to run away b/c she is getting a taste of how much the world costs and doesnt like it.
Does anyone know if the complaint is dismissed by the judge, does my name still get put on a register ? how do I find this out ? do I ask the judge tomorrow ?
they still tried to tell me my son could not come home with us. I reminded CPS that the judge saturday said she certainly could and that no formal complaint had been filed on me as of yet. CPS said no he has to stay with your mother until we see what the judge said in writing. I said ok he’ll stay at my mom’s because we go to court on tue morning and i am not going to screw anything up. I still believe they are trying to intimidate me, and the judge told me saturday this is wrong. I am visiting my mom’s house overnight to comfort my son, as they placed no contingencies on either of us visiting my son or our daughter. He is starting to get quite upset about this whole thing. we havent told him anything except that his sister is having some problems again and that she will be coming home soon.
before we left our dtr grabbed my husband and i and started begging us to not let them take her back to that shelter b/c there are awful kids there and etc etc etc …she was hugging me and crying on my shoulder….me, the woman she alleges attacks her…….sigh !
Comment by Donna G — December 15, 2008 @ 9:45 pm
In NY State recent legislation which will be in place in January 2009 dictates that if a neglect / abuse hearing in Family Court determines that the charges are dismissed, the respondent’s name will NOT be (or rather SHOULD not be) listed on the State’s Central Register. I do not know the law in Michigan.
You can check your state’s statutes or upcoming enactments of same.
Prior to this legislation, a name could still be placed on the NY State Register regardless of the outcome of Family Court.
Think of it this way, in many states, Family Court and the State Register are two different areas of law which do not necessarily go hand in hand.
It sounds like your team meeting went more positively than most.
Stay strong and research, research, research.
Good luck to your daughter. I hope things work out for her.
Comment by MaggieC — December 16, 2008 @ 6:22 am
Donna:
PRAGMATIC ADVICE FROM ONE WHO HAS BEEN THERE:
1. Jobs are COVETED. Just b/c someone has a *gubment* job does not mean they are wise, capable, or even practical.
2. Many folks here have master’s. A degree is just a piece of paper.
3. Dtr is almost 17. Really, you have 1 more year.
4. CPS now HAS TO INTRUDE UPON THE MIDDLE CLASS, since the lower classes know enough to keep quiet.
5. Middle class folk must absorb this lesson. CPS is DYSFUNCTIONAL.
6. CPS. like all gbt agencies lives on stats.
7. I could tell stories of teen girls being INCARCERATED FOR MONTHS b/c they represented the proper ethnic quota for the correctional industry.
8. I phrased the “group home* to you b/c I
guessed that she has had a pretty middle class upbringing. And yes, she was given a taste of the correctional facility.
9. I have seen wonderful, sensitive teens lives DESTROYED BY CPS when they sent nice kids to group homes. I have seen kids taken out of HS and who never graduated once DHS INTERFERED.
10. In summation, CPS IS ABOUT STATS.
The MIT study validated that CPS * stranger FC placements* are usually failures. Kinship care generally better.
11. Middle class: Learn the lessons that have been hard fought from those LA children incarcerated in Mc Laren Hall.
“White Oleander” by Janet Fitch. Shows what institutions do to kids.
California has a movement to class action those incarcerated in McLaren Hall.
12. Some kids ( seems like many more today) have to learn the HARD WAY. Stepdaughter unfortunately is a drams queen * Bipolar ?* or she just needs Daddy’s attention?
13. CPS needs the PC correct stats. This is why I warn the middle class parents to quash CPS at the door. POLITELY, AND POSITIVELY TURN CPS AWAY.
Refer to Website:
http://www.familyrights.us
Good index, easy access to info. Also from a Western state.
Glad you got back. Join the message boards. There are folks from MI there.
Also, check out:
http://www.profane-justice.org I believe there is a trained advocate there. Site of Suzanne Shell from Colorado.
F.
Comment by Fern — December 16, 2008 @ 7:11 am
immbas,
You said “you didn’t realize the abuse” until AFTER CPS stepped in and took control.
I could also be (maybe for you, maybe not) that CPS workers spent the entire time away from your parents filling you head with bad memories of your parents and telling you how wrong they were.
We all tend to beleive what we hear when we hear it over and over again.
Gidieon is soooooooo right. The poor familes are targeted. Supporting your children on a very small budget or living paycheck to paycheck is not always a bad thing. But in CPS eyes, the parents are not providing for their children.
I grew up poor, too. But I had all those things most familes missed out on. My parents gave me all the encouragement in the world to be whatever I wanted and where there at every PTA meeting etc. Despite living poor, we had all the basics and 1 xmas gift each, but a boatload of love. I’ll never know how they managed to never raise their voices at us or each other. Financial worries almost always put a strain on a persons attitude, yet they never showed it.
It made me the mom I am today. hey showed me the way to struggle for wha I want and be happy at the same time.
odd…
Comment by Cheryl — December 16, 2008 @ 8:06 am
Yes, Donna, you are definitely in my prayers!
Immabus, Cheryl, Maggie, & Gideon are right. CPS corrupts everything it touches, all in the name of PROFIT. NOT THE LOVE OF THE CHILD. Why are so many childeren left in abusive homes, while cps actively pursues cases such as my own, where NO ABUSE ever occurred??? CPS believed the LIES told by my mother’s conniving ‘partner’. This individual plays favorites with our 3 children. For proof, look under their Christmas tree & see which child has the most gifts!
CPS has grown/mutated horribly over the years. Gee, I was physically abused as a child, and am a productive member of society today WITHOUT the ‘help’ of cps.
Another thing, why is their such a big production of “Animal Cops” filmed in Michigan, while CPS is too chickensh*t to investigate REAL cases of abuse in Detroit low-income housing, and falsify bogus cases??? Just shows where the priorities are folks!
Comment by Susan — December 16, 2008 @ 12:55 pm
Immabus-
I now have my granddaughters and I fought so hard for 17 months to get them with me. I am kin. It shouldn’t have been.
while they were in CPS custody, they were repeatedly told that I didn’t want them, that I didn’t care and that I blamed them for what had happened to put them in state care. A social worker (won’t name names) specifically told XXXX child that I had been called as the child requested and that my response to her request to be with me, was “go to hell”.
After that, my granddaughter told the other grands what CPS had told her “go to hell”, and not one child wanted anything to do with me. I spent weeks trying to get 1 child to return a call or agree to a visit (thru the fosters). After nearly 16 months of trying, the kids finally told me off for what I supposedly said.
I explained that I had never said any such thing and that in fact i had spent nearly $20K fighting to see them, socialize and visit with them and get them home. When I asked them “why would I spend my savings to fight to get custody if I really said “go to hell”? Then the oldest one saw my receipts I’d had with me in court at this moment and KNEW that CPS had spent all 16 months coaching her to believe none of her extended family cared.
She agreed to living with me and rebuilding our long lost relationship, as did her sister. It’s been 7 months now and things couldn’t be better. We have each others respect and we love each other tremendously.
Comment by Cheryl — December 16, 2008 @ 2:55 pm
Hello all. I really have a deep hate for CPS. 8 years ago a friend of my 14 yr old daughter said my husband touched her when she stayed over. My daughter also said this. He was charged with the girl and removed from our house for 8 months. Our boy has ADHD and boy did that set him back. Anyway after a year we went to court I was afraid and so when they offered a rule 15 or 13 I don’t remember we took it. I was dissmissed without predudice after 2 years. My husband works for the state of MN as a CD counslor. The whol time he kept them in the loop. We found out right after the court date that she thought she was dreaming. Our daughter said she lied to get her biological dad to talk to her. Anyway she commited sucide in 2001. Now all these years later we have a new lawyer because Brian has been fired by another dept of MN saying the CPS file is still open and that because of preponderence of evidence he cant be around the patients at the Treatment center were he works. This has cost the life of my daughter my husbands joy ( he is recovering alcholic for 22 years) and loved teaching others. My son has been in therapy for years. And about 60.000.00. We have a new lawyer on th9s and are waiting for the attorney general to make a ruling. I wish I could turn back the time, and knew more about CPS and the investagation that I didn’t feel was good they didn’t even talk to other girls. Or take into account our daughter was in theapy for deppression. I could go on the details would make your hair curl. Darla
Comment by Darla Holmes — December 17, 2008 @ 6:25 pm
Darla… I’m so sorry your family has been through the worst nightmare.
Comment by Linda — December 18, 2008 @ 9:14 pm
This post is being moved over from the Lawyers page:
#
I am writing in regards to my current cps worker Janie Vaillreno and her actions towards me. She has been viscous and her personal commits have been outrageous.
When Janie Vaillareno entered into my life she refused to visit my home stating that I did not have a home. Which was untrue she also proceed to tell me I was homeless and that there was no way for her to contact me which meant that she would have the courts decide were my children were to go?
Based on the information my sisters had given her which had mostly all been false. However she replied I know all about u people which I did not understand? Janie vaillareno visited my parents’ home were my sisters began to tell her all kinds of things that were not true like .Things like I have never worked which
I have documentation of my past employment that proves I have work for years at the same company. She told me I was a liar and that making up things would not help my case I asked her if I could give her the paper work she replied no she can proved her on back ground checks which she has never done.
Accusations of drug abuse and neglect were made however none of them were true my sisters went down and illegal took my children off my case and took my daughters disability Janie knew of it and that I was pressing charges against my sisters, however she still took my children from me she never investigated to see if the charges were true I began to have my case workers call her because she never contacted anyone. I have documents from family friends neighbors’ case workers all who have dealt with my father and sister and know how they are and why they are doing this.
However my case worker Janie does not care nor has she been to visit my home or contacted my employment . She claims that I need a stable home without moving however if I do lose my job or something arise my rent will be paid in full because I live in a all bills paid home.
And I am on a government funded rental program. On 9/13/08 she told me I needed to be there in 24 hours to pick up a drug test however I work first shift and she knew this I cannot request time off not having my full 90 days in so she marked my test as positive knowing fully that I had to drug test to get my job so she gave me too positive drug test in a row.
I guess she was hoping I would lose my job I had to choose however if I would have lost my job she would have used it against me she pins me and always tells me she will put my kids in foster care . Cps was designed to keep families rather than not tear them apart .
I have just recently went to court over my children were Jane Valero changed the whole story of why my children should be taken none of which were true she has tried to make me lose my home by contacting section 8 telling then that my children were never coming home. Than she has been sited by the children’s ombudsman’s office for the extreme neglect on my case and still the judge believed every thing she said and fought me knowing that I am a full time student full time employed and have lived in my home 7 months know this worker has been sited by the office of childrens oudsmon
Comment by Keke — December 16, 2008 @ 1:55 pm
Comment by Linda — December 18, 2008 @ 11:32 pm
The good resource is informative and actual
Comment by ideavydix — December 19, 2008 @ 11:23 am
If you are reading this right now, please my email address is cn~AT~hushmail~DOT~com. I’m a male child who is currently unemployed. I recently received calls that my mother is dead and being an only male the expenses are killing me. I have already sold most of the items in my home just to pay for her funeral. I’m in the process plan the funeral but my greatest stumble block is that I have no funds. It’s frustrating and lonely, sometimes I feel like joining my mom… My mom is all I got… I need to bury her properly. I seeking help because I do not qualify from government and loan due to I’m unemployed right now. I strongly believed that there has to be someone out there that can help me.… Please the overall cost to complete with the one I have is $750 any small contribution would be greatly appreciated. My mom it hurts enough she is dead so suddenly, then on top that it kills me to know I can not bury her. Please help.
Comment by Promise — December 23, 2008 @ 9:48 am
What is wrong with CPS agencies? It appears from everyone’s comments here that they do more harm than good. They either take children from parents when they shouldn’t and don’t take children when they should. Our state is terrible about this. They are always in the papers because of their actions and have been sued numerous times. When will this stop?
Comment by Terri — December 24, 2008 @ 12:52 am
HELLO AGAIN…
MY DAUGHTER JUST TURNED 18 ON THE 26TH. I STILL HAVEN’T HEARD FROM HER. MY GRANDMOTHER THINKS THAT AFTER SHE IS OUT OF COLLEGE AND IS NO LONGER UNDER MY MOTHER’S CONTROL THAT SHE WILL CONTACT ME. I’M NOT HOLDING MY BREATH. I BELIEVE IN MY HEART THAT AFTER 16 YEARS OF BRAINWASHING AND FALSIFIED MEMORIES THAT SHE IS A LOST CAUSE, EVEN THOUGH I WROTE HER A LETTER LAST SUMMER TELLING HER THE TRUTH ABOUT EVERYTHING.
SHE DIDN’T WANT THE TRUTH. I EXCEPT IT FOR WHAT IT IS. I ALSO AM STILL ACTIVELY SEARCHING FOR MY SON JOSEPH WHO WILL BE 15 ON APRIL 17, 2009.
I STARTED A ZABASPHERE OF MY PERSONAL INFORMATION TO MAKE IT EASIER FOR HIM TO FIND ME. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON’T KNOW ABOUT ZABASEARCH.COM, I HIGHLY RECCOMEND YOU VISIT THERE, ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE BEEN SEPARATED FROM YOUR KIDS OR YOU ARE A CHILD LOOKING FOR YOUR PARENTS. THERE IS A MESSAGE BOARD THERE AND YOU CAN FIND A HISTORY OF YOUR OLD ADDRESSES AND PHONE NUMBERS.
A ZABASPHERE IS NOT UNLIKE A BLOG PAGE AND YOU GET EMAILED EVERY TIME THERE IS A HIT FOR SOMEONE SEARCHING YOUR NAME. THIS ENTIRE SERVICE IS FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IF YOU ARE STILL IN CONTACT WITH YOUR LOVED ONES AND ARE IN DANGER OF CPS TRYING TO PERMINENTLY SEPARATE YOU, BE SURE TO TELL YOUR CHILDREN/PARENTS ABOUT THIS WEBSITE. IT MAY BE THE ONLY THING THAT HELPS YOU FIND EACHOTHER AGAIN.
AT THE VERY LEAST, START YOUR OWN ZABASPHERE AND USE THE MESSAGE BOARDS. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE AND IT’S FREE! FREE! FREE!
I’M PRAYING FOR ALL OF US.
DON’T LOSE HOPE, FOR WITHOUT HOPE, ONE HAS NOTHING LEFT TO LIVE FOR.
IF YOU ARE NEW TO FIGHTCPS, STICK AROUND. WE GIVE AND RECEIVE SUPPORT, ADVICE AND EVEN LEGAL COUNCIL, WHICH FOR SOME OF US IS ALL THAT KEEPS US SANE.
YOU CAN FIND MY DAUGHTER’S LETTER TO ME IN THE GUESTBOOK FOR AUGUST. I POSTED IT WORD FOR WORD. I HAVE BEEN POSTING SINCE JUNE WHEN I DISCOVERED THIS WEBSITE, WHICH, THANKS TO LINDA IS TRUELY A GOD-SEND. SHE MUST BE AN ANGEL FROM HEAVEN.
AS ALWAYS I WILL LEAVE MY CONTACT INFORMATION, IN THE HOPES OF CONNECTING WITH MY SON, AND EVEN TO HELP SOMEONE HERE. THERE IS A LOT THAT I HAVE LEARNED OVER THE YEARS THAT I WISH I KNEW WHEN CPS WAS BUSY RAKING MY LIFE OVER THE COALS.
IF I CAN ASSIST ANY OF YOU IN ANY WAY, I’D LOVE TO. I CAN BE REACHED BY PHONE, EMAIL OR PO BOX.
HOME: 360-273-7993
CELL: 253-212-6978
PO BOX 44162
TACOMA WA 98448-0162
PMB 212 19949 OLD HWY 99 SW
ROCHESTER WA 98579
EMAIL JoLisa Lindbloom at: lindbloom_jm@yahoo.com
GOD BLESS…
Comment by JoLisa Lindbloom — December 30, 2008 @ 12:38 am
Excellent information.
Thank you.
Some other suggestions for finding children, etc.
1. Contact Social Security. If you have a person’s SS#, there is rumored to be a division of SS where they will forward a letter from you to the missing person’s last known address. Letter cannot be extortive
in tone. Just say you’re Mommy. Love you.
2. For kids still in school in your state. Take a look and see if your school district publishes a directory of kids attending that school. Often times, now the kid or the family’s email addy is included.
3. For kids over age 10 when taken. Make sure kids know about a throwaway email addy. AOL, yahoo, etc. They can email you from school computers, too. Make sure the kid understands this is a personal, private email. These emails can also document abuse in FC.
Thank you again for bringing up this topic. A very important and needed addition to this great site.
F.
Comment by Fern — December 30, 2008 @ 7:28 am
I WENT ON MYSPACE LAST NIGHT TO UPDATE MY PROFILE. AFTER CLICKING ON FIND FRIENDS, I TYPED IN MY DAUGHTER’S NAME, AND VOILA! THERE SHE WAS. I SENT HER AN EMAIL WISHING HER A BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND TOLD HER ABOUT MY EXPERIENCE IN THE HOSPITAL A COUPLE WEEKS AGO.
I HAD TO GO TO GOOD SAM IN PUYALLUP BECAUSE I WAS HAVING CHEST PAIN. IT TURNS OUT THAT I HAVE A HEART VIRUS. THEY DON’T KNOW IF IT IS LIFE THREATENING YET BUT TIME WILL TELL. I ALSO HAVE AN EURYTHMIA, (IRREGULAR HEARTBEAT,) AND MY BAD CHOLESTEROL IS 269! IT’S SUPOSED TO BE BELOW 150.
I DOUBT I WILL HEAR BACK FROM HER BUT I JUST DON’T CARE EITHER WAY ANYMORE. AFTER-ALL ACCORDING TO HER I AM NOT HER MOTHER. ACCORDING TO MY MOTHER I AM NOT A GOOD MOTHER AND I HAVE NO MOTHER.
I AM STILL BLESSED IN MORE WAYS THAN I HAD EVER EXPECTED. AND I WOULD NEVER HAVE LET MY DAUGHTER GROW UP TO TREAT ANYONE THE WAY SHE DID ME IN THAT LETTER SHE SENT ME.
THAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING A GOOD MOTHER AND A BAD MOTHER? WELL THEN BRING ON ALL OF THE BAD MOTHERS!
MY 7 YEAR OLD SON HAS MORE RESPECT FOR PEOPLE’S FEELINGS THAN I COULD EVER EXPECT AND HE HAS AUTISM, ADHD AND PDD! I HOPE HE IS ALWAYS THAT WAY.
IF THAT MAKES ME A BAD MOTHER, SO BE IT. BUT IF BEING A GOD MOTHER MEANS TURNING MY CHILDREN INTO RUDE, STUCKUP, SELF-SERVING JERKS THEN I WILL PASS.
FERN, THANKS FOR THE 411. I PROBABLY WON’T BE ABLE TO USE THE SS THING UNTIL HE TURNS 18 AND I DON’T KNOW WHERE HE IS SO I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO BEGIN SEARCHING THE SCHOOLS.
I HOPE AND PRAY THAT HE HASN’T BECOME LIKE MY DAUGHTER. GOD FORBID!
DON’T LOSE HOPE OUT THERE. FOR WITHOUT HOPE, ONE HAS NOTHING LEFT TO LIVE FOR.
HAPPY UPCOMMING NEW YEAR!
lindbloom_jm@yahoo.com
Comment by JoLisa Lindbloom — December 30, 2008 @ 10:43 pm
immbus
My best friend is my biological sister. Today, we live productive lives and I probably would not have the emotional baggage if in my life time I didn’t have to witness the kidnapping of healthy babies and children from a poor family! Every situation is different! You can only speak for yourself!
Comment by Gingerroot — January 1, 2009 @ 1:49 pm
My baby was taken in aug 2005 in jan 2007 i found out i was preg after our baby was taken for a second time i ran to alabama now my rights are terminated my baby born in nov 2007 is dead, there dad was shot this month and is now dead cps has ruined my life how can i fight cps i am only 22 and have no money putting myself through college no family no one to count on and i dont know if my baby is ok all alone in texas system
Comment by amber daugherty — January 1, 2009 @ 5:42 pm