Comments on: Calling CPS http://fightcps.com/2008/02/23/calling-cps/ Family Rights v. Child Welfare Services Fri, 10 Feb 2012 00:26:20 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Linda Martin http://fightcps.com/2008/02/23/calling-cps/comment-page-1/#comment-282415 Linda Martin Thu, 15 Dec 2011 22:55:00 +0000 http://fightcps.com/2008/02/23/calling-cps/#comment-282415 Jess, I can understand why you don't want to call CPS. You might get into a good foster home or they might force you to go on drugs. It is hard to know what might happen! But you are being abused and should not have to live that way. I understand you are grateful for what your grandmother did for you. I am wondering if the family that is taking care of your sister could take care of you too. If not, maybe you have friends whose parents would take you in. Could you ask around? Many families are very generous by welcoming in teenagers who are having problems at home - that's fairly common. Tell them you don't want to call CPS, but you need another place to stay. You could write your grandmother a letter thanking her for all the good she's done but also telling her you can't remain living with someone who hits you. That's totally understandable. Much love to you - I hope you find the help you need - a good family to live with. Jess, I can understand why you don’t want to call CPS. You might get into a good foster home or they might force you to go on drugs. It is hard to know what might happen! But you are being abused and should not have to live that way. I understand you are grateful for what your grandmother did for you. I am wondering if the family that is taking care of your sister could take care of you too. If not, maybe you have friends whose parents would take you in. Could you ask around? Many families are very generous by welcoming in teenagers who are having problems at home – that’s fairly common. Tell them you don’t want to call CPS, but you need another place to stay. You could write your grandmother a letter thanking her for all the good she’s done but also telling her you can’t remain living with someone who hits you. That’s totally understandable. Much love to you – I hope you find the help you need – a good family to live with.

]]> By: Jess http://fightcps.com/2008/02/23/calling-cps/comment-page-1/#comment-282303 Jess Thu, 15 Dec 2011 15:26:53 +0000 http://fightcps.com/2008/02/23/calling-cps/#comment-282303 Hey, my name is Jess, and if you aren't prepared for a long story of a girl explaining her situation and asking for help, I suggest you stop reading. I am a 15 year old girl in 10th grade. When I was little, my grandma fought and won custody of me because my parents were drug dealers. I've lived with my grandma (who is now 59 years old) since I was just 2, and it's just me and her. I've kept this secret inside me, hiding it from the world my whole life, until now. She's always hit me when she's gotten mad at me. But it's never been this bad before. I am depressed and have severe anxiety, causing me to sometimes not be able to participate in everyday activities, such as going to school. I go to school and I try to push through, as everyone tells me to. But some days it is just too hard to deal with, and I can't go because I know that if I do, I will break down crying in the middle of class. (I have major depression). I just started on a new antidepressant because my last ones weren't working for me. I'm also on a pill for ADHD (attentiveness type). Anyway my mom basically went through the same thing, choosing the WRONG path once she got to 9th grade, she became rebellious (i.e started taking drugs, drinking, hanging out with drug dealers, bringing home very "bad boys", and by that I mean law breakers and one who later in his life ended up murdering someone and stealing their car.) anyway I won't explain the whole story of when and how I got taken away from her and my dad, but my mom is dead, (died when I was in second grade, I hadn't been seeing her though) now because of drug overdose and the last time I saw my father was when I was 2. The point of that though, is that my grandma see's me going down the same path that my mom did. It makes her very angry, when she see's me doing something like not going to school. I really try for her, I've tried so hard no one has any idea. She hits me when she gets mad. As I said, she always has, but that was more like getting spanked a few times or hit in the arm. It's been much much worse since I've gotten older. Some things that she does would be- punching my arm/shoulder with all the strength she has about 5 times, bashing her fist/knuckles into my head, grabbing my hair and ripping on it, throwing objects at me, digging the car keys or her nails into my skin, scratching me, slapping, punching my back with the keys in her hands (causing me to get cuts or scratches). Now, this is not on a daily basis. How often this happens is different all the time, it just depends on when she gets angry. There have been times where I haven't been hit for a few weeks, but then there are times where it's happened four times in one week. I used to not think of it as anything, but now I'm seeing bruises rise to my skin, scratch marks, bleeding, and I'm starting to think this is abuse. Anyway I looked up the CPS just because I wanted to know what it was about, and what kind of stuff happens when you call. I go for counseling for my depression and anxiety, and I'm very trusting towards one of my group therapy leaders that I used to go to. She's always there for me, but I know that if I tell her or talk to her about what's going on, she will call CPS. It's a rule they have, and my grandma's closest friend is the main leader of the group therapy. She told us though, that if they ever heard about a situation that is dangerous, they would LEGALLY have to interfere. My grandma is all I have. My sister and adopted brother live with my cousins, who live three hours away, along with the rest of my family (aunt's, uncles, the rest of my grandparents, etc.). My great grandma is 96 now and my grandma and I drive there for holidays to see our family, and so that I can see my sister, who is my best friend. I know my grandma hurts me, but she's also done so much for me, this is why I don't know how to deal with this. She switched me from public school to private school last year, which we did NOT have the money for and had to borrow from family, and our close family friend helped pay the tuition also. It was a huge struggle, but I know she did it for me because she asked me, "if there was one thing to make you happy again, what would it be". And I had said, "to go to HD" (the private school). Then she told me, "then we'll have to find a way". Now this may sound very greedy on my part, but I can't even begin to describe what agony I was in at that time. She's taken me to therapists, payed for my medication, taken me to doctors appointments, had blood tests done on me, payed for vitamins (I'm not physically well), payed for my school supplies, clothes, art supplies, guitar, dance lessons when I was younger, buys me Christmas presents, feeds me, buys my books, animal care supplies, everything. She pays for ME in general. Also payed for me to go to a private school for all 8 years before high school. And I know she'll continue to help me get into college and all that. I would be in a foster home if it wasn't for her! I'm supposed to be at school right now. I am at home aching from earlier this morning. I had slept in this morning by accident, and I was late getting ready for school and my grandma had an appointment with her boss, which we had to leave early for. So she came in and hit/punched me while i was crouched in the corner of my bathroom. I was screaming for at least a good 5 minutes. Once she left the room I slammed the door and locked it. She was soon out the house and driving away. I took my shirt off and looked at my back in the mirror where I had been hit. I had huge red marks from where she struck me, and was bleeding from where her key had dug into my back. My head was aching from being punched at the back of my neckline. Do I stay quiet about this? And please don't tell me to just "talk to someone", because talking to someone would mean getting CPS involved because no one I know would let that go on. If I'm going to tell someone I trust, I might as well call CPS myself. Anyway, sorry for the long comment, I really hope that someone takes the time to read and respond to it though, this is the first time I've tried to seek help for it. Hey, my name is Jess, and if you aren’t prepared for a long story of a girl explaining her situation and asking for help, I suggest you stop reading.
I am a 15 year old girl in 10th grade. When I was little, my grandma fought and won custody of me because my parents were drug dealers. I’ve lived with my grandma (who is now 59 years old) since I was just 2, and it’s just me and her.
I’ve kept this secret inside me, hiding it from the world my whole life, until now.
She’s always hit me when she’s gotten mad at me. But it’s never been this bad before.
I am depressed and have severe anxiety, causing me to sometimes not be able to participate in everyday activities, such as going to school. I go to school and I try to push through, as everyone tells me to. But some days it is just too hard to deal with, and I can’t go because I know that if I do, I will break down crying in the middle of class. (I have major depression). I just started on a new antidepressant because my last ones weren’t working for me. I’m also on a pill for ADHD (attentiveness type).
Anyway my mom basically went through the same thing, choosing the WRONG path once she got to 9th grade, she became rebellious (i.e started taking drugs, drinking, hanging out with drug dealers, bringing home very “bad boys”, and by that I mean law breakers and one who later in his life ended up murdering someone and stealing their car.) anyway I won’t explain the whole story of when and how I got taken away from her and my dad, but my mom is dead, (died when I was in second grade, I hadn’t been seeing her though) now because of drug overdose and the last time I saw my father was when I was 2.
The point of that though, is that my grandma see’s me going down the same path that my mom did. It makes her very angry, when she see’s me doing something like not going to school. I really try for her, I’ve tried so hard no one has any idea. She hits me when she gets mad. As I said, she always has, but that was more like getting spanked a few times or hit in the arm. It’s been much much worse since I’ve gotten older.
Some things that she does would be- punching my arm/shoulder with all the strength she has about 5 times, bashing her fist/knuckles into my head, grabbing my hair and ripping on it, throwing objects at me, digging the car keys or her nails into my skin, scratching me, slapping, punching my back with the keys in her hands (causing me to get cuts or scratches).
Now, this is not on a daily basis. How often this happens is different all the time, it just depends on when she gets angry. There have been times where I haven’t been hit for a few weeks, but then there are times where it’s happened four times in one week. I used to not think of it as anything, but now I’m seeing bruises rise to my skin, scratch marks, bleeding, and I’m starting to think this is abuse.
Anyway I looked up the CPS just because I wanted to know what it was about, and what kind of stuff happens when you call.
I go for counseling for my depression and anxiety, and I’m very trusting towards one of my group therapy leaders that I used to go to. She’s always there for me, but I know that if I tell her or talk to her about what’s going on, she will call CPS. It’s a rule they have, and my grandma’s closest friend is the main leader of the group therapy. She told us though, that if they ever heard about a situation that is dangerous, they would LEGALLY have to interfere.
My grandma is all I have. My sister and adopted brother live with my cousins, who live three hours away, along with the rest of my family (aunt’s, uncles, the rest of my grandparents, etc.). My great grandma is 96 now and my grandma and I drive there for holidays to see our family, and so that I can see my sister, who is my best friend.
I know my grandma hurts me, but she’s also done so much for me, this is why I don’t know how to deal with this. She switched me from public school to private school last year, which we did NOT have the money for and had to borrow from family, and our close family friend helped pay the tuition also. It was a huge struggle, but I know she did it for me because she asked me, “if there was one thing to make you happy again, what would it be”. And I had said, “to go to HD” (the private school). Then she told me, “then we’ll have to find a way”. Now this may sound very greedy on my part, but I can’t even begin to describe what agony I was in at that time.
She’s taken me to therapists, payed for my medication, taken me to doctors appointments, had blood tests done on me, payed for vitamins (I’m not physically well), payed for my school supplies, clothes, art supplies, guitar, dance lessons when I was younger, buys me Christmas presents, feeds me, buys my books, animal care supplies, everything. She pays for ME in general. Also payed for me to go to a private school for all 8 years before high school. And I know she’ll continue to help me get into college and all that.
I would be in a foster home if it wasn’t for her!
I’m supposed to be at school right now. I am at home aching from earlier this morning. I had slept in this morning by accident, and I was late getting ready for school and my grandma had an appointment with her boss, which we had to leave early for. So she came in and hit/punched me while i was crouched in the corner of my bathroom. I was screaming for at least a good 5 minutes. Once she left the room I slammed the door and locked it. She was soon out the house and driving away.
I took my shirt off and looked at my back in the mirror where I had been hit. I had huge red marks from where she struck me, and was bleeding from where her key had dug into my back. My head was aching from being punched at the back of my neckline.
Do I stay quiet about this? And please don’t tell me to just “talk to someone”, because talking to someone would mean getting CPS involved because no one I know would let that go on. If I’m going to tell someone I trust, I might as well call CPS myself.

Anyway, sorry for the long comment, I really hope that someone takes the time to read and respond to it though, this is the first time I’ve tried to seek help for it.

]]> By: Glenny http://fightcps.com/2008/02/23/calling-cps/comment-page-1/#comment-275212 Glenny Sat, 03 Dec 2011 01:55:32 +0000 http://fightcps.com/2008/02/23/calling-cps/#comment-275212 Hi there, just wanted to mention, I liked this blog post. It was practical. Keep on posting! Hi there, just wanted to mention, I liked this blog post. It was practical. Keep on posting!

]]> By: MASH http://fightcps.com/2008/02/23/calling-cps/comment-page-1/#comment-261827 MASH Fri, 21 Oct 2011 16:59:40 +0000 http://fightcps.com/2008/02/23/calling-cps/#comment-261827 In July 2011, I got a call from a 21 yr old woman I had known for a few yrs. (She was an ex-school mate of my oldest son)She called to tell me, her 10 month old baby had been ill and she had no place to live.I moved her into our home.Since she been at my home,the baby was still ill so I told her he needed to see a Dr.She refused to take him,so I took him to my own fam Pedi office.While at the office, the Dr checked the med history of the baby.The baby had never seen a dr since birth & was behind on everything.Bottom line is while I was at the Dr's office,the Dr filed a report with CPS on her.The girl then moved out of my home,back to grandma's house in another city.Well,grandmom sends me an email threat stating she will now file a false report on me to get even for CPS coming after her grand-daughter.I never filed a report on this girl.This will be the second report on file for this young woman.Her own mother filed a report on her before, as well as her grandfather. So now what do i do?Should I conatct CPS myself and tell them I have proof of the grandmother's threat?That I was in the Dr's office, when the Dr filed a report? I am so scared. I don't want these ppl on my doorstep. Any advice? In July 2011, I got a call from a 21 yr old woman I had known for a few yrs. (She was an ex-school mate of my oldest son)She called to tell me, her 10 month old baby had been ill and she had no place to live.I moved her into our home.Since she been at my home,the baby was still ill so I told her he needed to see a Dr.She refused to take him,so I took him to my own fam Pedi office.While at the office, the Dr checked the med history of the baby.The baby had never seen a dr since birth & was behind on everything.Bottom line is while I was at the Dr’s office,the Dr filed a report with CPS on her.The girl then moved out of my home,back to grandma’s house in another city.Well,grandmom sends me an email threat stating she will now file a false report on me to get even for CPS coming after her grand-daughter.I never filed a report on this girl.This will be the second report on file for this young woman.Her own mother filed a report on her before, as well as her grandfather. So now what do i do?Should I conatct CPS myself and tell them I have proof of the grandmother’s threat?That I was in the Dr’s office, when the Dr filed a report? I am so scared. I don’t want these ppl on my doorstep. Any advice?

]]> By: Lisa http://fightcps.com/2008/02/23/calling-cps/comment-page-1/#comment-249163 Lisa Sun, 02 Oct 2011 20:57:32 +0000 http://fightcps.com/2008/02/23/calling-cps/#comment-249163 Linda, Thank you for replying. I am deeply saddened that is there is nothing I can to to stop her threat. I have since then moved out, she does not know where I live, and I have never spoken to her since the threat. It has only been two months since her threat, but I am severely afraid of what she can do, knowing my father knows where I now live, though he has promised to never to tell her. I am not even being treated for depression nor do I have it, but I am extremely angry that someone can make completely false accusations to CPS and there is no punishment for people doing so. I have informed every family member of her threat and her false accusations, and when confronted she says he wouldn't do it but is only threatening me to control me. I have thought about going to the police and filing an order of protection based on her threat but I am worried it could only hurt me in the end. I can only hope that "if" CPS was called they would be able to see that I am a Great Mother and leave me alone. I have a wonderful clean very organized apartment, Working husband, No criminal past (only a seat-belt violation when i was 16) absolutely no drug use, and excessive food in the cabinets... is this even good enough? To anyone reading this comment, lawyers, lawmakers, politicians, case workers, PLEASE we need to do something to help families of false accusations to CPS. Linda,

Thank you for replying. I am deeply saddened that is there is nothing I can to to stop her threat. I have since then moved out, she does not know where I live, and I have never spoken to her since the threat. It has only been two months since her threat, but I am severely afraid of what she can do, knowing my father knows where I now live, though he has promised to never to tell her. I am not even being treated for depression nor do I have it, but I am extremely angry that someone can make completely false accusations to CPS and there is no punishment for people doing so. I have informed every family member of her threat and her false accusations, and when confronted she says he wouldn’t do it but is only threatening me to control me. I have thought about going to the police and filing an order of protection based on her threat but I am worried it could only hurt me in the end. I can only hope that “if” CPS was called they would be able to see that I am a Great Mother and leave me alone. I have a wonderful clean very organized apartment, Working husband, No criminal past (only a seat-belt violation when i was 16) absolutely no drug use, and excessive food in the cabinets… is this even good enough? To anyone reading this comment, lawyers, lawmakers, politicians, case workers, PLEASE we need to do something to help families of false accusations to CPS.

]]> By: Linda Martin http://fightcps.com/2008/02/23/calling-cps/comment-page-1/#comment-248067 Linda Martin Mon, 26 Sep 2011 20:52:33 +0000 http://fightcps.com/2008/02/23/calling-cps/#comment-248067 Lisa, vindictive parents make CPS calls frequently, and ruin their children's happiness. If I were you I'd move away from your mom and not bother to tell her where you're going -- to another state, hopefully. Any mother who would threaten to call CPS on her daughter doesn't (in my opinion) need to have contact with that family anymore. Sorry to tell you this. I love family unity. But I don't think it's right to have to worry about CPS showing up. And no, there are no laws to prevent people from calling CPS with false accusations. At best you could take someone to court later on if you could prove it, but that's very hard to do. Lisa, vindictive parents make CPS calls frequently, and ruin their children’s happiness. If I were you I’d move away from your mom and not bother to tell her where you’re going — to another state, hopefully. Any mother who would threaten to call CPS on her daughter doesn’t (in my opinion) need to have contact with that family anymore. Sorry to tell you this. I love family unity. But I don’t think it’s right to have to worry about CPS showing up.

And no, there are no laws to prevent people from calling CPS with false accusations. At best you could take someone to court later on if you could prove it, but that’s very hard to do.

]]> By: Lisa http://fightcps.com/2008/02/23/calling-cps/comment-page-1/#comment-247648 Lisa Sat, 24 Sep 2011 04:43:16 +0000 http://fightcps.com/2008/02/23/calling-cps/#comment-247648 My mom is mentally ill, and has been treated for bi-polar for over 7 years. She has physically abused me and my sister growing up. Due to her rage, past abuse, and unstable moods I decided to only allow supervised visits with me when she is with my 2yr old. She is very controlling and She doesn't like my rule and has threatened to call CPS to "have my daughter taken away to hurt me". She said she would tell them i have depression and am incapable of taking care of her. What can i do to prevent this from happeneing? Where can i go to report her threat? Is there any laws agianst people calling CPS to purposely hurt someone? My mom is mentally ill, and has been treated for bi-polar for over 7 years. She has physically abused me and my sister growing up. Due to her rage, past abuse, and unstable moods I decided to only allow supervised visits with me when she is with my 2yr old. She is very controlling and She doesn’t like my rule and has threatened to call CPS to “have my daughter taken away to hurt me”. She said she would tell them i have depression and am incapable of taking care of her. What can i do to prevent this from happeneing? Where can i go to report her threat? Is there any laws agianst people calling CPS to purposely hurt someone?

]]> By: Linda Martin http://fightcps.com/2008/02/23/calling-cps/comment-page-1/#comment-235838 Linda Martin Sat, 16 Apr 2011 19:56:14 +0000 http://fightcps.com/2008/02/23/calling-cps/#comment-235838 Dan, you're welcome to get feedback on your situation by registering and posting at our message board: http://forum.fightcps.com - please do not send me a private message there as you will be getting better feedback by presenting your issues to the community. Some of the people there have better answers than I do, IMHO. Dan, you’re welcome to get feedback on your situation by registering and posting at our message board: http://forum.fightcps.com – please do not send me a private message there as you will be getting better feedback by presenting your issues to the community. Some of the people there have better answers than I do, IMHO.

]]> By: Dan http://fightcps.com/2008/02/23/calling-cps/comment-page-1/#comment-235836 Dan Sat, 16 Apr 2011 18:36:12 +0000 http://fightcps.com/2008/02/23/calling-cps/#comment-235836 It would take an excessively long post to describe the situation I see. Can you email me so I can explain it and get advise? Thanks! It would take an excessively long post to describe the situation I see. Can you email me so I can explain it and get advise? Thanks!

]]> By: r http://fightcps.com/2008/02/23/calling-cps/comment-page-1/#comment-231953 r Sun, 27 Feb 2011 18:57:55 +0000 http://fightcps.com/2008/02/23/calling-cps/#comment-231953 at around 530 a.m. as i was trying to put my daughter down, i tripped and fell. landing her on her little head, she did end up with fracture to her skull. to the hospital we go, where they end up mixing up the whole story (including my being asked about the car wreck she was just in!!). cps gets involved b/c the injuries were 'inconclusive' where a fall is concerned, so she is removed from my custody and is with my mom. what am i supposed to do to ensure I get my little lamb back!?! they asked me how i disiplne her (she is 7 mo old... really!?!), and if i was tired (at 530 in the a.m... REALLY!?!) etc. anyone who knows me or my baby knows how laughable this situation is... what now? at around 530 a.m. as i was trying to put my daughter down, i tripped and fell. landing her on her little head, she did end up with fracture to her skull. to the hospital we go, where they end up mixing up the whole story (including my being asked about the car wreck she was just in!!). cps gets involved b/c the injuries were ‘inconclusive’ where a fall is concerned, so she is removed from my custody and is with my mom. what am i supposed to do to ensure I get my little lamb back!?! they asked me how i disiplne her (she is 7 mo old… really!?!), and if i was tired (at 530 in the a.m… REALLY!?!) etc. anyone who knows me or my baby knows how laughable this situation is… what now?

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