There has been physical abuse of the kids by the x husband which just came to light from her children. All three of her children have disabilities and on last visitation they looked sick and getting worse.

The police won’t do anything because it is civil and CPS only takes the side of the x husband whom never wanted the kids or has paid a cent for them. I am a friend who has not turned on her but every time she turns around somebody is accusing her of something which is so untrue.

I would really like to know how to stop these false accusations from going on and mostly to see the actual abuser to see the inside of the jail cell. If you had this happen to you or have some kind of suggestion for me to try and help my friend I would really be grateful. Thank You

chrisat4692 at msn.com

You mention “The best and most succinct advice is simply not to interact with them. POLITELY.”

I had a CPS ‘investigator’ show up on my doorstep on a Tuesday accusing me of ‘not having a job’, not ‘paying my rent’ and ‘not feeding the children’. I have never dealt with CPS before, so I simply showed her my bank statement that shows my direct deposit, my cleared rent check and invited her to take a look in the kitchen (where I was cooking dinner at the time). She seemed VERY agitated to be proven ‘wrong’ and proceeded to LITERALLY stomp around my house ‘looking at the living arrangements’. (I live in a brand new 4 bedroom home in a nice community) I at no time was ever rude with her, but I kept feeling increasingly uneasy.

The next thing I know, she starts asking very odd questions in a alarmingly rude way. Every answer I gave her seemed to anger her more. At the time, I did not have any idea what was going on, but looking back it was a power-trip. She had brought a police officer with her that night and had planned to take the kids, I am sure of it. But nothing she accused me of was correct, all three kids were fine, I was in the middle of cooking dinner and whatever report she was investigating was blowing up in her face.

Toward the end of the conversation, she became nearly belligerent; telling me that teenage boys should not be expected to share in household responsibilities. That I as the mother should be the one who cooks every single night, washes all the dishes, cleans all the laundry etc etc.. (Looking back I should have asked her where the book was on how high to shove a silver spoon).

I am a single mother of three boys who works at home. Most people think when you ‘work at home’ that you either a) run your own ‘girly’ business or b) eat bon-bons and watch oprah while some idiot corporation blindly sends you a check. Without revealing too much about myself, I bring in enough money for a two-income household, but I do have to work close to 70 hours a week (I am on salary).
The fact that we have such a tight schedule means that my two teenage boys occasionally pitch in and help with dinner; they share in chores and do their own laundry.

Being that I am ex-military, the fact that they do their own laundry is not a subject for debate. It is not ‘neglect’ , it’s called ‘discipline’ and when they are the only two in college that knows what detergent does in a washing machine, they will thank their mother.

Back to my original point, after nearly 40 minutes of listening to this woman, I finally told her that she was being rude and asked her to leave. Yes, I was polite about it, but it needed to be said.

She became more hostile and said, ‘I have to talk to the kids individually’. I told her that at this point I wanted an attorney. She looked at the cop and said, I am done here, (looking at me) I am going to talk to the kids.

About 20 minutes later she comes storming out of the kids’ bedroom, heads for my sliding glass doors and says “I need to look around the perimeter of the house”. She goes straight to a garbage can that is sitting in the back of the house, removes all of the garbage from the top of it and takes pictures of beer bottles at the bottom.

Apparently, she had barraged my kids with questions and they told her that I do occasionally drink beer on the back porch. No kidding, I smoke back there too. Wow.. I’m have two teenagers, I think I pass for 21.

She hands me a piece of paper filled with ‘requirements’ that I must do to ‘keep my kids’. Excuse me?

Like I said, I have never dealt with these people before, so I told her that I was not signing anything until I speak to an attorney and that she needed to leave. Now.

The next day I wrote a complaint to her supervisor and mailed it. (thinking back I should have driven down there and handed it to her… not sure that would have made any difference).

The day after that (Thursday) she showed up at my doorstep at 10am. I politely asked her if she had a warrant or court order, she said nastily (and as if I was challenging her) ‘No, do you want me to get one?’, I told her to have a nice day and closed the door.

She stood in the driveway for over 30 minutes pacing angrily and talking on her cell phone.

The following night (this is now Friday), she came with a police officer and stole my children. When I asked her what the grounds were, she sniped, ‘Because you refused services’. When I asked who authorized the removal, she picked up her badge and shoved it in my face. In a matter of four days, she removed my children with no grounds whatsoever.

That was four months ago. I still do not have my children back and no one cares how it was done or why. They keep saying, don’t worry about what happened in the past… we have to work on putting your family back together.

In the meantime I have jumped through more loops, taken more time off of work, paid lawyer’s fees and gone through ‘evaluations’ with presumptuous questions that have no right answers. If you answer in a way that doesn’t conform, they put down something else. (One doctor even told me that he does these evaluations on a contract and that there were ‘certain things’ they (CPS) expect to see when they get it back. Nice huh?)

There is no ‘being polite’ with these people.

My advice is if they come to your house and the situation seems weird, get the hell outta there and take your kids to a relative’s house in another county. MOVE. Treat them like what they are and protect your children. They are legalized kidnappers, plain and simple!

Now that I have shared my story here, I have questions to ask all of you.

What is the point? Do these ‘protective investigators’ get bonuses for removing children? Do they get demerits if a report is wrong? Why would this woman be SO determined to tear up a family that she knows nothing about?

It doesn’t make any sense to me at all.

Until now, when I walked up my narrow, insular street I felt as though I was either a leper or a ghost as the same neighbors who gave me thumbs up as a mom now want me run off the street based on certain of my daughter’s unsubstantiated allegations.

I am ready to shed the stigma. Because my case is still in litigation, I will not comment on details, but my parental rights have been terminated and the sentence did not fit the “crime.” To shorthand the dynamics: Single mom, older child adoption, mother-teenage daughter conflict, meddling neighbors w/more goodies than mom. In the meantime, rather than consider healing our disconnect, disassociative tendancies have been engrained even deeper as a history of more disconnects evolves as she is punted from house to house on our street. Now she is currently living with a neighbor whose companion who has a criminal record which the DCFS conveniently does not want to know about. In all fairness, my former daughter is nearly 17 and does not want to return home, but at least before she went into her current placement we had a pulse. Now, because of the DCFS drama, our relationship has flatlined. Although we live on the same street, we pass each other in silence as I am not allowed to have contact with her and the neighbors who were instrumental in leading DCFS to my door, if not pointing the way to it, now claim they are not involved.