My case was based fully on “he said she said”. CPS placed my son with his father and grandmother who is abusive. I had the proof also but it was 2 years old and no use. Honestly if CPS had a brain they would know that people need help to get over mental disorders and what not. Isnt that what the use against us? Oh they arent mentally stable they need therapy right? Well when someone says they have a gun and want to shoot themselves or say they are mentally unstable thats a red flag and should be investigated even if its 2 years old. You dont get over that on your own in my opinon. Pretty backwards dont you think?

I ask the father for pictures and get nothing. I havent seen my son in almost a year and when my brother asked him where mommy was he said I DONT KNOW. That hurts. The father just refuses to let me see him and my social worker is ok with it.

“Freakonomics “( economic research ) tying together what seems to be unrelated topics has been a NYT bestseller for over a year.

The fact that this study was commissioned is very heartening especially to folks like Mr. Ashworth above & the debacle which took place with his bio son.

We simply CANNOT AFFORD THESE FOSTER CARE DEBACLES ANY MORE.

These studies are not done cheaply, and interest in the topic indicates that realization about the trauma of FC is spreading.

Families will win their rights, slowly, since so many people feed off FC and related CPS non-issues.

This struggle is certainly similar to the struggle for civil rights in the US which took around 100 years.

With Internet exposure and folks like Len, Linda, Suzanne, Cheryl, etc., hopefully we are approaching the end of this tragedy for blameless families.

She “decided” (along with her sister) that life beyond my home was bigger, brighter, more fun, less strict, etc,etc,etc. Both of these girls had the belief that if they could make enough allegations (which they did), CPS would remove them (which they did along with my biological son).

The older one was the luckier as she ended up being placed with her boyfriend’s parents, and she basically gets whatever she wants, so good for her.

The 16 year old has, since November been discharged from private residence foster care and FIVE group homes. She has been admitted to the psych ward twice, has been forced to change schools three times, acts out to the extent that she hardly ever has any privileges except going to school and staying in doors.

Three weeks ago, she was arrested and charged with assualt and battery. Her biological Father refuses to allow her to live with him, and her Mother has voluntarily relinquished her own parental rights. Of course, she never figured ANY of this would happen, but that she would stay in the home of school friends and do what she wanted.

I have raised this child since she was 14 months old. I agreed to be sole custodian after her mother abandoned us all for men and drugs.

Despite the lies, the real hurt and pain this kid has caused, I cannot help but love her, and yet I also will likley never see or even speak to her until she ages out of the system in 2 more years.

I cannot see her being adopted at her age and with her track record. I hope I am wrong. I hope things will change for her and that she won’t spend two of the most crucial years of her life continuing to bounce from group home to jail to group home.

But in all reality, even if I were allowed to, I could not let her return to the home I have provided for her 13 years. When she made a false allegation of sexual abuse three years ago, my therapist who has worked with men released from prison for REAL sex crimes, (not the reason I was seeing him) told me flat out, he has seen men go to jail for less, and that if I allowed her THEN back into the home, she would make further allegations. He was right and I was wrong. Sadly, her parents are wrong too. But I have no control over that.

Once, I was able to really reach this kid unlike anyone else. She shoplifted several times, and I got all the merchandise and we rode all over town returning it and with her confessing to each store manager what she had done. Twice, she stole my credit card and made purchases without my knowledge or permission. I took her to the Juvenile authorities who read her the riot act, and she seemed to straighten up after that. This past year, I encouraged her to attend the auditions for a school play. She won the lead role, and this with NO prior drama experience. She started dating, and I did my best to try to help her navigate, but it was tough, since i was always reluctant to even speak about certain issues between young men and young women because of the allegations she had made. Funny, though, that even AFTER she made them the first time, and they were investigated and totally dismissed by DSS, they found me not only fit enough to have kinship guardian care over her, they practically threatened me if I did not do so. Yes, I was very wary being a single step father living with two teenage girls who both had “histories”. The oldest was expelled fropm school 4 years ago for alleging falsely that a male teacher had touched her inappropiatley. The poor man was placed on adminstrative leave, investigated out the wazoo, his name ruined, and I think he even took a polygraph. My step daughter was expelled for “assault”, which I imagine is the only indiscretion the school code would allow.

Because of these two girls, I was subjected to four months of a criminal investigation during which time my ex wife, my older children from that marriage, past employers, even nieces and nephews were all asked unbelievable things about me. I volunteered myself to be interrogated, without benefit of an attorney, and after 5 grueling hours, the Detective helped me draft a statment and in the end, BOTH step daughters were charged with felony sexual abuse (which they confessed to) for events which took place with my biological son a few years back. The DA dropped all charges, however and NOTHING was uncovered reagrding me, not even a parking violation.

I am starting to ramble….all this will be over soon, as after 9 months, we will finally have a hearing. My 13 year old son,. who is the real victim in all of this, was initially removed, placed in an unlicensed foster home with a convicted felon, and of course, was very emotionally abused. After 5 months, I was finally able to prevail upon my court appointed attorney to file a Motion to have my son removed not only from his abusive foster setting, but totally out of this county. in so doing, I knew that even the two hours a week I did get would be further diminished, and it has been. But, he is safe and with REAL family, living with one of my older sons and his wife. He knows I fought for him, that I believed him when he told the truth about his sisters, and when he made his case worker promise “not to tell until he was gone”, I believed him when he spoke about the abuse of his foster setting. They told him .I should “burn in hell for what I had done” and that “DSS is filling your head full of false hope, you will NEVER go home. They made him listen to a tape supposedly of “all the souls in Hell screaming in agony for their sins” and made him get on his knees in front of them and pray that God would forgive him and not send him to Hell.

The case worker promised my son he would never have to go back. He remained there 3 more months before I could get him away. My son knows I fought for him, but this has all been so much on him, and 9 months is an eternity to a kid, and well, I know he loves me, but he has “bonded” (who wouldnt after what he went through) with the array of brothers, uncles, cousins and grandparents my side of the family affords him. I told him he “wasn’t a foster kid anymore” and he beamed…..

The trauma kids go through by being ripped away from everything they know, whether it is good or not so good, and being plopped amidst total starngers, not being told anything, not being able to see their Mom or Dad, the hours and hours spent silently sobbing, hoping no one else in this strange place will hear, having no one familiar, not knowing when or if they will ever go “home” just literally kills something in children. Even under optimal conditions (unless there truly was horrific abuse), no one knows how much suffering these children endure, how vulnerable it makes them, how pliable—until that thing, whatever it is, hope or caring or whatever—whithers and you can see it in their eyes during visits. Those of you who have been through this know exacty what I mean.

Nothing in your life or theirs will ever be the same again.

God bless all the hurting parents, and God protect all the children, the light fading from their eyes a little dimmer each passing day. Amen.